six months ago

in reflection of my blog entry from april 2nd.

WHY DIDN'T I JUST STICK TO THE FUCKING PLAN.

chad and joe are right, i should have done the seminar at ihs. and that apartment in silver spring was fucking amazing, if for no reason* other than the fact that it was a lot closer to the metro. (compare: potential apartment situation in silver spring to actualized apartment situation in college park)

instead, i exhausted myself working 40+ hours a week, didn't see enough of my family, and came home every day to a hovel of an apartment. moorpark's classes would have been a whole lot cheaper than gw's, too, and as general education requirements they would have looked just as nice on my transcript.

now, at what point do i lose the right to attribute all of this to being a "learning experience" and gain the right to attribute this to me being a total freaking dumbass who doesn't think things through and now is just fucking up his life? (let it be known that i didn't used to be like this. i used to be much more rational, reasonable, and emotionally balanced.)

i also fucked up my class schedule for this semester as well, but today's midterm in sociology makes me feel a little less fearful about failing this semester altogether.

days since getting sick: 43.

*also, silver spring, unlike college park, isn't in the middle of the ghetto.

edit, 3:51 a.m.: i can't sleep because i am too fucking upset with myself about this summer.