if i want to graduate when i want to (which is, well, a year early), i need to start taking policy-oriented courses. that's why i wrote this e-mail:
∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙
from: Michael Ross
to: Robert Stoker
subject: PSC 124
Dear Prof. Stoker:
My name is Michael Ross and I am a sophomore Public Policy major in
CCAS. I am interested in enrolling in one of your courses for next
semester — PSC 124.11 Poverty, Welfare, and Work (CRN #43949) — but
have not been able to do so using the normal online registration
process because I haven't taken PSC 002 Introduction to American
Politics (the prerequisite to PSC 124) yet. Nevertheless, I am still
interested in taking your class next semester, and that is why I am
asking you if you would be willing to sign me into your class. Not
only will I be taking PSC 002 next semester (concurrently with PSC
124), but I am already familiar with the structure of American
politics based on my experience interning here in Washington. Please
let me know whether you are willing to let me into your class, and if
so, when I can come by your office with the RTF form so you can sign
off on it. Thank you very much!
Regards,
Michael Ross
∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙
this was followed 7 (!!!) hours later by the following e-mail:
∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙
from: Robert Stoker
to: Michael Ross
subject: RE: PSC 124
Michael:
I regret that the Political Science department requires students to complete PSC 002 in advance of taking any upper division course in American politics. I hope to see you in PSC 124 in some future semester.
Bob Stoker
∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙
he really had no good reason to deny my request. only 34/49 seats are taken. also, i'm more than qualified to take that course. honestly, is it really necessary for gwu to perpetuate such bureaucracy?
i think i'm going to go over "bob"'s head and contact the department of political science and the columbian college.
in may 2007, i turned down a substantial scholarship to northeastern university to attend gwu. i was worried that northeastern would try to coddle me, what with my admission into its honors program and all. i'm going to college to learn how to deal with red tape, not have it cut for me... right?
i guess you could say that i'm having one of those "what was i thinking?" moments again.
26 December 2008
25 December 2008
so apparently i've forgotten how to drive
the following took place at 3:00 this afternoon as i was going southbound on conejo school road, just past the lakes shopping center and the 101 freeway underpass.
the blue line represents the path along which my car should have traveled. the red line represents the path that it actually traveled.
figure 1 — overhead.
figure 2 — as seen from the 101 freeway.
the yellow line represents the point of "oh, shit" — i knew i was about to crash but was powerless to stop it. and the red × represents to where i moved the car after the crash until my mom and dad came to save me.
granted, it was raining. but, i was also taking that uphill curve too fast. i lost control of the car, and i hit the sidewalk (which acts as a retaining wall for the hill so it's kind of tall). i'm fine, but i can't say that much for poor elphaba. she'll need to go to the mechanic the day after christmas.
first self-induced accident i've been in since i got my license 3 years ago. wow, i've been lucky. i'm also lucky that this one wasn't worse. still, it was kind of scary. especially that second before the crash that i knew it was about to happen...
in other news, joe is no longer coming to stay with me in thousand oaks after christmas. :(
merry christmas everybody!!!
(this entry has been published onto my live journal as well. i think i'm going to give it a chance.)
the blue line represents the path along which my car should have traveled. the red line represents the path that it actually traveled.
figure 1 — overhead.
figure 2 — as seen from the 101 freeway.granted, it was raining. but, i was also taking that uphill curve too fast. i lost control of the car, and i hit the sidewalk (which acts as a retaining wall for the hill so it's kind of tall). i'm fine, but i can't say that much for poor elphaba. she'll need to go to the mechanic the day after christmas.
first self-induced accident i've been in since i got my license 3 years ago. wow, i've been lucky. i'm also lucky that this one wasn't worse. still, it was kind of scary. especially that second before the crash that i knew it was about to happen...
in other news, joe is no longer coming to stay with me in thousand oaks after christmas. :(
merry christmas everybody!!!
(this entry has been published onto my live journal as well. i think i'm going to give it a chance.)
21 December 2008
2008: in review.
(over instant messenger)
me: "what kind of critters do you have in idaho?"
amanda: "i don't know, buffalo?"
this is the 6th time this calendar year that i have come back to visit california. considering i now live across the continent, i would say that this number is excessive.
nonetheless, i'm glad to be home right now. there's a lot of friend drama going on for me in washington, and i'm glad to be away from that for a while.
i need to be a different person when i go back to washington in january. i'm realizing that, maybe, i don't need to accept the fact that i'm unhappy with my life. i want to get out more. i want to go to clubs and meet new people. i want to rebuild the friendships i've watched deteriorate over the past few months. i want to take the risks that i've feared. i want to refuse to accept a life of humbleness.
by and large, 2008 was an epic failure. i can honestly say that i was happier with my life at the beginning of this year than i am now. sure, i've made some incredible gains in my life, especially academically and professionally. but i have fewer friends and i find that i have less fun in general. aren't i a little too young to be dispirited by life?
i need to set some goals for myself for the new year, goals of how to improve my life. unfortunately, my track record notes my failure to actualize the vast majority of my goals.
taken from my blog entry from august 24th — my goals for fall 2008:
✓ going to a few baseball games ← sadly, this was the most actualized of all my goals, but only in part: i only made it to one game.
✓ taking a class at a dance studio ← did not happen.
✓ finding a shooting gallery ← did not happen.
✓ reading fear and loathing in las vegas ← did not happen, although i did go to a used book store and ask if they had a copy. they did not.
✓ visiting other east coast cities ← did not happen, but in all fairness, i was incredibly sick during the weekend that my friends went to new york. plans are currently underway for a trip of my own to the big apple at the end of january, though.
✓ working out more ← HAH.
✓ registering as a member of apsa ← did not happen (this should have been the easiest of them all to accomplish).
i know i ought to give myself the benefit of the doubt with regards to that list of goals because i was sick for so much of the semester, but in all honesty, i've felt like i've become increasingly miserable as 2008 has progressed. first, there was the roller coaster ride that was phil and i. then, there was the nightmare of trying to make it on my own for a summer. more recently, there was being sick. and all the while, i felt like i was watching my friendships — specifically, my closest ones — slip away from me. sure, i've met some great people throughout 2008, but man, what i wouldn't give to have the closeness to patty and joanna that i had last year, when i lived down the hall from them in thurston.
as it stands, i have 1 ½ years of college left. i want to make the most of them while i still can. as my friend matt told me whenever i complain about wanting to graduate, "you'll be saying the opposite the minute you graduate." i know i'm career-oriented, but maybe he's on to something. i want to hang out with my friends in the dorms. i want to go to clubs and concerts with them. this isn't high school, and i shouldn't feel as unpopular now as i did then. i want to be 19. i want to fit in. i want my friends to call me up and invite me out to have some fun.
i spent my entire life waiting to be college. why shouldn't i enjoy it now that i've achieved it?
or, perhaps, i am incapable of overcoming my dissatisfaction?
with every passing day, a summer in california — or, at least, part of it — sounds increasingly appetizing. perhaps it's just because i am burned out on washington and desire a change. i'm fairly certain that i won't be persuing an internship for over the summer — between weddings, graduations, a bar mitzvah, classes, and seminars, i don't have time to bend my schedule to the will of an intern coordinator. with that, the need to stay within the beltway diminishes. that being said, i'm thinking i might spend the first half of the summer here in california, and the second in dc. i'd miss my gw friends, living on my own, and being in a city. but, in reality, i miss having a best friend who's known me for more than 1 ½ years, living on my own is terribly expensive, and washington in the summer is DISGUSTING (i can't decide what's worse: humidity or tourists!).
like i said, though, i'm afraid that, in the end, no option or path in life will ever truly make me happy. so when amanda told me that she'd consider marrying her ex when she returns from his mission, i told her to never settle for anyone less than the love of her life, because she deserves the utmost in happiness (and besides, eternity is a long time to spend with someone you're lukewarm about). i truly believe that. i might not have found a way to make myself happy, but that doesn't mean that no one else should be. i'm not THAT bitter. ;)
(thanks for letting me rant.)
me: "what kind of critters do you have in idaho?"
amanda: "i don't know, buffalo?"
this is the 6th time this calendar year that i have come back to visit california. considering i now live across the continent, i would say that this number is excessive.
nonetheless, i'm glad to be home right now. there's a lot of friend drama going on for me in washington, and i'm glad to be away from that for a while.
i need to be a different person when i go back to washington in january. i'm realizing that, maybe, i don't need to accept the fact that i'm unhappy with my life. i want to get out more. i want to go to clubs and meet new people. i want to rebuild the friendships i've watched deteriorate over the past few months. i want to take the risks that i've feared. i want to refuse to accept a life of humbleness.
by and large, 2008 was an epic failure. i can honestly say that i was happier with my life at the beginning of this year than i am now. sure, i've made some incredible gains in my life, especially academically and professionally. but i have fewer friends and i find that i have less fun in general. aren't i a little too young to be dispirited by life?
i need to set some goals for myself for the new year, goals of how to improve my life. unfortunately, my track record notes my failure to actualize the vast majority of my goals.
taken from my blog entry from august 24th — my goals for fall 2008:
✓ going to a few baseball games ← sadly, this was the most actualized of all my goals, but only in part: i only made it to one game.
✓ taking a class at a dance studio ← did not happen.
✓ finding a shooting gallery ← did not happen.
✓ reading fear and loathing in las vegas ← did not happen, although i did go to a used book store and ask if they had a copy. they did not.
✓ visiting other east coast cities ← did not happen, but in all fairness, i was incredibly sick during the weekend that my friends went to new york. plans are currently underway for a trip of my own to the big apple at the end of january, though.
✓ working out more ← HAH.
✓ registering as a member of apsa ← did not happen (this should have been the easiest of them all to accomplish).
i know i ought to give myself the benefit of the doubt with regards to that list of goals because i was sick for so much of the semester, but in all honesty, i've felt like i've become increasingly miserable as 2008 has progressed. first, there was the roller coaster ride that was phil and i. then, there was the nightmare of trying to make it on my own for a summer. more recently, there was being sick. and all the while, i felt like i was watching my friendships — specifically, my closest ones — slip away from me. sure, i've met some great people throughout 2008, but man, what i wouldn't give to have the closeness to patty and joanna that i had last year, when i lived down the hall from them in thurston.
as it stands, i have 1 ½ years of college left. i want to make the most of them while i still can. as my friend matt told me whenever i complain about wanting to graduate, "you'll be saying the opposite the minute you graduate." i know i'm career-oriented, but maybe he's on to something. i want to hang out with my friends in the dorms. i want to go to clubs and concerts with them. this isn't high school, and i shouldn't feel as unpopular now as i did then. i want to be 19. i want to fit in. i want my friends to call me up and invite me out to have some fun.
i spent my entire life waiting to be college. why shouldn't i enjoy it now that i've achieved it?
or, perhaps, i am incapable of overcoming my dissatisfaction?
with every passing day, a summer in california — or, at least, part of it — sounds increasingly appetizing. perhaps it's just because i am burned out on washington and desire a change. i'm fairly certain that i won't be persuing an internship for over the summer — between weddings, graduations, a bar mitzvah, classes, and seminars, i don't have time to bend my schedule to the will of an intern coordinator. with that, the need to stay within the beltway diminishes. that being said, i'm thinking i might spend the first half of the summer here in california, and the second in dc. i'd miss my gw friends, living on my own, and being in a city. but, in reality, i miss having a best friend who's known me for more than 1 ½ years, living on my own is terribly expensive, and washington in the summer is DISGUSTING (i can't decide what's worse: humidity or tourists!).
like i said, though, i'm afraid that, in the end, no option or path in life will ever truly make me happy. so when amanda told me that she'd consider marrying her ex when she returns from his mission, i told her to never settle for anyone less than the love of her life, because she deserves the utmost in happiness (and besides, eternity is a long time to spend with someone you're lukewarm about). i truly believe that. i might not have found a way to make myself happy, but that doesn't mean that no one else should be. i'm not THAT bitter. ;)
(thanks for letting me rant.)
15 December 2008
where does the time go?
lol at being at starbucks at 5 in the morning. a man just walked in to drop of a stack of copies of the new day's washington post. funny, it's still yesterday for me.
seriously though, i've got 2 finals on tuesday and i was notoriously unproductive throughout this weekend. where does the time go?
to that effect, i can't believe this semester is finally over. i could lie and say this semester went the way i'd have liked it to, but in reality, i didn't enjoy my classes, i became estranged from a lot of my friends, and half of it was spent sick anyway.
i've decided that, next semester, i'll be partaking in more activities that are actually on campus. frat parties, clubs, just hanging out with other students. i need to get back to having friends who are actually MY age. i've recently become aware of the condescending nature of some of my older friends. i don't really need to hear about how something going on in my life right now is similar to what you went through 7 years ago. sages are for eastern religions — i need companions in the here and now!
after these 2 finals, i'm officially halfway done with my undergraduate. where does the time go? i'm starting to realize that i need to take steps (like the ones listed above) to make the most out of my time at gwu. i really don't do that now. next semester is really the last one i'll have with my friends (since they're all studying abroad next year). spring 2009 has got to be all about the hanging out with peeps.
i guess it all comes down to the fact that i feel like i don't appreciate life enough. at this point, everything feels so mechanical and routine. sara (my "cousin" and best friend, who attends cal arts) just booked a flight for herself to visit her boyfriend in chicago over new year's. it's her first time ever on an airplane, and to be honest, i'm more excited for her to go to chicago than for myself to go to europe. why? because travel is an unfamiliar and novel concept for sara. for me, it's routine. i fly several times a year between california and dc. it's like a part of my commute. it's not exciting for me to go between the 2 locations — more than anything else, it's just a drag to have to travel so much.
in many aspects, i am jealous of sara because of her ability to partake in this "new" experience. what i consider routine and agitating, she considers fresh and exciting. with that regard, i am less excited for europe as i once was. i already travel so much — why can't i just stay here? (this is similar to my logic for opting not to study abroad: going to gwu is already like studying abroad for me!) sara is going to have a great time in chicago, which is more than i can say for me when i fly an even greater distance on wednesday to come home for christmas.
i say all this because i miss what my life was like a few years ago. i have great internships now that will significantly bolster my career later on, but i find myself missing macy's. i fly from coast to coast several times a year, but i miss staying in one place and finding it to be novel whenever i flew. i'm making great connections here in washington, with people whose acquaintanceship is of significant value in my professional life, but what happened to just having a few best friends who you could go to the mall with and tell all your secrets to?
i'm leaning more and more to summer '09 in southern california. yeah, i'll miss out on internships and connections in washington. but i can make a lot more money working in retail for a summer (or, even if i got another internship, i'd be saving $$$ by not having to pay rent). and as for connections, i've already made a lot; why not just spend time with sara (and everyone else) for a change?
i miss being a kid. (i can't believe i'm saying that.) and i miss being able to honestly assert that i enjoy life. (because i don't.) i know i said that i have "a life in dc" that i don't know if i'm willing to leave behind for a summer, but at this point, maybe that would be for the best.
seriously though, i've got 2 finals on tuesday and i was notoriously unproductive throughout this weekend. where does the time go?
to that effect, i can't believe this semester is finally over. i could lie and say this semester went the way i'd have liked it to, but in reality, i didn't enjoy my classes, i became estranged from a lot of my friends, and half of it was spent sick anyway.
i've decided that, next semester, i'll be partaking in more activities that are actually on campus. frat parties, clubs, just hanging out with other students. i need to get back to having friends who are actually MY age. i've recently become aware of the condescending nature of some of my older friends. i don't really need to hear about how something going on in my life right now is similar to what you went through 7 years ago. sages are for eastern religions — i need companions in the here and now!
after these 2 finals, i'm officially halfway done with my undergraduate. where does the time go? i'm starting to realize that i need to take steps (like the ones listed above) to make the most out of my time at gwu. i really don't do that now. next semester is really the last one i'll have with my friends (since they're all studying abroad next year). spring 2009 has got to be all about the hanging out with peeps.
i guess it all comes down to the fact that i feel like i don't appreciate life enough. at this point, everything feels so mechanical and routine. sara (my "cousin" and best friend, who attends cal arts) just booked a flight for herself to visit her boyfriend in chicago over new year's. it's her first time ever on an airplane, and to be honest, i'm more excited for her to go to chicago than for myself to go to europe. why? because travel is an unfamiliar and novel concept for sara. for me, it's routine. i fly several times a year between california and dc. it's like a part of my commute. it's not exciting for me to go between the 2 locations — more than anything else, it's just a drag to have to travel so much.
in many aspects, i am jealous of sara because of her ability to partake in this "new" experience. what i consider routine and agitating, she considers fresh and exciting. with that regard, i am less excited for europe as i once was. i already travel so much — why can't i just stay here? (this is similar to my logic for opting not to study abroad: going to gwu is already like studying abroad for me!) sara is going to have a great time in chicago, which is more than i can say for me when i fly an even greater distance on wednesday to come home for christmas.
i say all this because i miss what my life was like a few years ago. i have great internships now that will significantly bolster my career later on, but i find myself missing macy's. i fly from coast to coast several times a year, but i miss staying in one place and finding it to be novel whenever i flew. i'm making great connections here in washington, with people whose acquaintanceship is of significant value in my professional life, but what happened to just having a few best friends who you could go to the mall with and tell all your secrets to?
i'm leaning more and more to summer '09 in southern california. yeah, i'll miss out on internships and connections in washington. but i can make a lot more money working in retail for a summer (or, even if i got another internship, i'd be saving $$$ by not having to pay rent). and as for connections, i've already made a lot; why not just spend time with sara (and everyone else) for a change?
i miss being a kid. (i can't believe i'm saying that.) and i miss being able to honestly assert that i enjoy life. (because i don't.) i know i said that i have "a life in dc" that i don't know if i'm willing to leave behind for a summer, but at this point, maybe that would be for the best.
11 December 2008
i'm about to go explore down by the waterfront/maine avenue (because i've never been before)
thinking what should i do
now i don't have you
facing my demotion
i'm just a fish in your ocean
has been, that's what i am
with my backstage wristband
freaking seconds of you
that's not what i'm used to
feed, feed 'em all to me
careful with my stuff
what's your policy
first one's free…
i save 'em up, i put 'em in my pocket
i save 'em up, put 'em in a jar
i save 'em up, i'm gonna need 'em for later
i save 'em up, then they'll go real far
hand me downs, the takedowns
i take the leftovers
cold ones and the old ones
better than no ones
feed, feed 'em all to me
careful with my stuff
what's your policy
first one's free…
i save 'em up, i put 'em in my pocket
i save 'em up, put 'em in a jar
i save 'em up, i need 'em for later
i save 'em up, then they'll go real far
i time it out, gotta be real careful
i time it out, get 'em right on time
i time it out, i get 'em when i need 'em
time is up, what's left is over
it's over
i can never have enough
oh, i can never have enough
i sure am greedy
hand 'em over to me
nothing's free…
i save 'em up, i put 'em in my pocket
i save 'em up, put 'em in a jar
i save 'em up, gonna need 'em for later
i save 'em up, then they'll go real far
i time it out, i'll be real careful
i time it out, get 'em right on time
i time it out, i get 'em when i need 'em
time is up, what's left is over
oh, i need 'em,
yeah, i need 'em
because i need 'em
time is up, what's left is over
i time it out, i time it out
because i need 'em, i really need 'em
what should i do, now i don't have you?
i really need 'em, i really need 'em
hand me downs, the takedowns
i take the leftovers.
now i don't have you
facing my demotion
i'm just a fish in your ocean
has been, that's what i am
with my backstage wristband
freaking seconds of you
that's not what i'm used to
feed, feed 'em all to me
careful with my stuff
what's your policy
first one's free…
i save 'em up, i put 'em in my pocket
i save 'em up, put 'em in a jar
i save 'em up, i'm gonna need 'em for later
i save 'em up, then they'll go real far
hand me downs, the takedowns
i take the leftovers
cold ones and the old ones
better than no ones
feed, feed 'em all to me
careful with my stuff
what's your policy
first one's free…
i save 'em up, i put 'em in my pocket
i save 'em up, put 'em in a jar
i save 'em up, i need 'em for later
i save 'em up, then they'll go real far
i time it out, gotta be real careful
i time it out, get 'em right on time
i time it out, i get 'em when i need 'em
time is up, what's left is over
it's over
i can never have enough
oh, i can never have enough
i sure am greedy
hand 'em over to me
nothing's free…
i save 'em up, i put 'em in my pocket
i save 'em up, put 'em in a jar
i save 'em up, gonna need 'em for later
i save 'em up, then they'll go real far
i time it out, i'll be real careful
i time it out, get 'em right on time
i time it out, i get 'em when i need 'em
time is up, what's left is over
oh, i need 'em,
yeah, i need 'em
because i need 'em
time is up, what's left is over
i time it out, i time it out
because i need 'em, i really need 'em
what should i do, now i don't have you?
i really need 'em, i really need 'em
hand me downs, the takedowns
i take the leftovers.
08 December 2008
you change your mind like a girl changes clothes
it's been so long since i've written in my blog that i feel like i need to reintroduce myself. hello blog, i'm michael. nice to meet you.
as of late i've been extremely busy studying for finals and consequently unable to write. this particular round of finals is kicking my ass. it was the grace of god that allowed me to pass my chemistry final. now i've got 4 left and i'm definitely feeling the pressure.
the rest of thanksgiving was all right. not bad, not great either. i'm still disappointed that so few of my relatives materialized for thanksgiving dinner. i feel kind of silly flying clear across the country for an event which my relatives, who already live in the southland, didn't deem important enough to attend.
getting back to dc was also a drag. my plane was 2 hours late leving burbank, and so by the time i arrived in dallas, i had missed my connection. as a result, i had to wait around in dallas for a couple of hours for the next flight to dc. in the end, it took me the entire day to get back home. i hate that.
anyway, i'm pretty unenthusiastic about going back to california one week from wednesday. i mean, i was just home!! i'm pretty frightful about getting stranded at another airport, and besides, i'm not really looking forward to spending 3 ½ weeks in the golden state. i love living in the city, i don't like living with my parents, and i'll miss all my friends here in dc. plus, today's high was 32º, and I LOVE THE COLD. somehow, barbeques and swimming on christmas day doesn't appeal to me.
you see, i really don't consider going back to thousand oaks a "vacation". a vacation is something you go on to relax, have fun, and try something new. that definitely does not describe thousand oaks for me. (luckily, i found a cheap airfare to europe for joe and myself in march — $600 rountrip on virgin america!! boo yeah!!)
other than dreading going home for yet a 6th time this calendar year (my resolution for 2009 should be to go home less), i've been thinking a lot about my summer plans. logic is seemingly tell me to stay in california for the summer — you know, suck it up and live at home. i can take classes at cal state, intern somewhere in the city, even participate in those summer programs in berkeley (the location of the ihs seminar i want to attend this year) and montana that i've been dreaming out. but then i run into some problems, like: would cal state offer the courses i need? how would i be able to take on the arduous commute into los angeles, without a car of my own in one of the most car-necessary markets in america? and would i even get in to those programs if i applied? (i'm thinking i'm going to have to pass up the one in february because my dad is coming into town during that weekend, so i'd like to at least be able to do those other two.) plus, there's the ultimate question: would i be able to withstand living in thousand oaks — under my parents' roof — for 3 ½ months? moreover, i've got a life here in dc... can i really leave it behind in dc in may and then expect to be able to pick it back up in september?
in the end, it all comes down to the money. i'm starting to lack the funds to travel back and forth as much as i have. if i go to california for the summer, i stay in california for the summer. if i stay in dc for the summer, well, i stay. (except for jeffrey's graduation in june.)
i love the independence which i possess. the fact that i've got money of my own in the bank gives me a sense of security which is, well, fantastic. on the one hand, i understand that i'll forfeit a lot of this independence if i go back to california for the summer. on the other hand, summer '08 in college park might have been a fruitful affair, but it was also an expensive one, thus possibly causing me to forfeit this independence of mine down the road. although lcv paid me pretty well (in fact, i don't think i can find such a well-paying internship again), i still wound up losing more money than i made. unless i could convince dad or student loans to pay for my rent for a (less shitty) apartment this upcoming summer, it'd be economically unwise.
at least i can take solace in the fact that, in 1 ½ years, i will be a college graduate and will be able to financially support myself better... well, hopefully. ;)
in other news, i burnt my tongue on a slice of pizza 3 days ago, and it's still swollen. i'm not sure what to do about this, but it's really becoming bothersome to me.
i realized it's going to be kind of hard to find any friends of mine to live with next year because they're all going abroad. jared (my freshman roommate) and i talked long ago about living together again for our junior year, but as gabbi (his girlfriend) told me over coffee on fri., he'll be studying abroad. i'm considering becoming a house proctor or just moving off campus altogether. my friend steve and i were half-jokingly discussing living together downtown once his lease expires in july, but again, that raises questions about my summer plans.
i've seen "quantum of solace" twice, and i loved it both times. now, i need to go see "the boy in the striped pajamas". i keep noticing the book version of it on pablo's desk. i'm not sure if i should ask him if i can borrow it to read it first, especially because i've already got michael crichton's state of fear and emily brontë's wuthering heights on my queue of books to read.
i bought a new pair of jeans at the aéropostale at tyson's yesterday. i don't know why i keep on buying their shitty jeans. i need to rework my budget so that i can have the money to invest in quality clothing, rather than the rubbish i buy that unravels within months of purchase. that being said, steve wanted to buy a $50 wool cap at ruehl, which i think is ridiculous. i think he's still cross at me for not letting him buy it.
i still have a lot more review to do for my exams, but i'm going to go to bed anyway.
as of late i've been extremely busy studying for finals and consequently unable to write. this particular round of finals is kicking my ass. it was the grace of god that allowed me to pass my chemistry final. now i've got 4 left and i'm definitely feeling the pressure.
the rest of thanksgiving was all right. not bad, not great either. i'm still disappointed that so few of my relatives materialized for thanksgiving dinner. i feel kind of silly flying clear across the country for an event which my relatives, who already live in the southland, didn't deem important enough to attend.
getting back to dc was also a drag. my plane was 2 hours late leving burbank, and so by the time i arrived in dallas, i had missed my connection. as a result, i had to wait around in dallas for a couple of hours for the next flight to dc. in the end, it took me the entire day to get back home. i hate that.
anyway, i'm pretty unenthusiastic about going back to california one week from wednesday. i mean, i was just home!! i'm pretty frightful about getting stranded at another airport, and besides, i'm not really looking forward to spending 3 ½ weeks in the golden state. i love living in the city, i don't like living with my parents, and i'll miss all my friends here in dc. plus, today's high was 32º, and I LOVE THE COLD. somehow, barbeques and swimming on christmas day doesn't appeal to me.
you see, i really don't consider going back to thousand oaks a "vacation". a vacation is something you go on to relax, have fun, and try something new. that definitely does not describe thousand oaks for me. (luckily, i found a cheap airfare to europe for joe and myself in march — $600 rountrip on virgin america!! boo yeah!!)
other than dreading going home for yet a 6th time this calendar year (my resolution for 2009 should be to go home less), i've been thinking a lot about my summer plans. logic is seemingly tell me to stay in california for the summer — you know, suck it up and live at home. i can take classes at cal state, intern somewhere in the city, even participate in those summer programs in berkeley (the location of the ihs seminar i want to attend this year) and montana that i've been dreaming out. but then i run into some problems, like: would cal state offer the courses i need? how would i be able to take on the arduous commute into los angeles, without a car of my own in one of the most car-necessary markets in america? and would i even get in to those programs if i applied? (i'm thinking i'm going to have to pass up the one in february because my dad is coming into town during that weekend, so i'd like to at least be able to do those other two.) plus, there's the ultimate question: would i be able to withstand living in thousand oaks — under my parents' roof — for 3 ½ months? moreover, i've got a life here in dc... can i really leave it behind in dc in may and then expect to be able to pick it back up in september?
in the end, it all comes down to the money. i'm starting to lack the funds to travel back and forth as much as i have. if i go to california for the summer, i stay in california for the summer. if i stay in dc for the summer, well, i stay. (except for jeffrey's graduation in june.)
i love the independence which i possess. the fact that i've got money of my own in the bank gives me a sense of security which is, well, fantastic. on the one hand, i understand that i'll forfeit a lot of this independence if i go back to california for the summer. on the other hand, summer '08 in college park might have been a fruitful affair, but it was also an expensive one, thus possibly causing me to forfeit this independence of mine down the road. although lcv paid me pretty well (in fact, i don't think i can find such a well-paying internship again), i still wound up losing more money than i made. unless i could convince dad or student loans to pay for my rent for a (less shitty) apartment this upcoming summer, it'd be economically unwise.
at least i can take solace in the fact that, in 1 ½ years, i will be a college graduate and will be able to financially support myself better... well, hopefully. ;)
in other news, i burnt my tongue on a slice of pizza 3 days ago, and it's still swollen. i'm not sure what to do about this, but it's really becoming bothersome to me.
i realized it's going to be kind of hard to find any friends of mine to live with next year because they're all going abroad. jared (my freshman roommate) and i talked long ago about living together again for our junior year, but as gabbi (his girlfriend) told me over coffee on fri., he'll be studying abroad. i'm considering becoming a house proctor or just moving off campus altogether. my friend steve and i were half-jokingly discussing living together downtown once his lease expires in july, but again, that raises questions about my summer plans.
i've seen "quantum of solace" twice, and i loved it both times. now, i need to go see "the boy in the striped pajamas". i keep noticing the book version of it on pablo's desk. i'm not sure if i should ask him if i can borrow it to read it first, especially because i've already got michael crichton's state of fear and emily brontë's wuthering heights on my queue of books to read.
i bought a new pair of jeans at the aéropostale at tyson's yesterday. i don't know why i keep on buying their shitty jeans. i need to rework my budget so that i can have the money to invest in quality clothing, rather than the rubbish i buy that unravels within months of purchase. that being said, steve wanted to buy a $50 wool cap at ruehl, which i think is ridiculous. i think he's still cross at me for not letting him buy it.
i still have a lot more review to do for my exams, but i'm going to go to bed anyway.
26 November 2008
i can't believe it's raining in california
to the person who called me from an "unknown number" at 1:05 am last night, then hung up immediately after i picked up the phone:
i know who you are. you're not fooling me. don't ever do that again. that was completely unnecessary. i'm not in high school anymore.
this, among other things, is making another summer in dc look quite enticing right now.
i know who you are. you're not fooling me. don't ever do that again. that was completely unnecessary. i'm not in high school anymore.
this, among other things, is making another summer in dc look quite enticing right now.
23 November 2008
i've been in california for only 3 ½ hours
...and i miss dc already. specifically, i remember why i left california in the first place. it's boring, and i feel disconnected from everything (and everyone) here.
this will make coming home for christmas and summertime all the more difficult. ugh.
still, i've got to make the best of this. at least the weather's nice. melissa suggested in-n-out by the beach for dinner tonight, which i'm fully amenable to. and hey, i haven't even SEEN my parents or brother yet. who knows, maybe this will work out all right...?
edit: i just re-read my last post. "everything in time." okay, got it.
this will make coming home for christmas and summertime all the more difficult. ugh.
still, i've got to make the best of this. at least the weather's nice. melissa suggested in-n-out by the beach for dinner tonight, which i'm fully amenable to. and hey, i haven't even SEEN my parents or brother yet. who knows, maybe this will work out all right...?
edit: i just re-read my last post. "everything in time." okay, got it.
everything in time
days since getting sick: does it matter anymore?
in the past week or so, i have realized — despite ups and downs, despite failures and travesties, despite feelings of sheer hopelessness — i have realized that, in time, everything will turn out all right.
my thanks as always goes to god. but i can credit a certain lunch buddy of mine from earlier today for the “in time” clause. thanks for that, too.
on to california.
in the past week or so, i have realized — despite ups and downs, despite failures and travesties, despite feelings of sheer hopelessness — i have realized that, in time, everything will turn out all right.
my thanks as always goes to god. but i can credit a certain lunch buddy of mine from earlier today for the “in time” clause. thanks for that, too.
on to california.
18 November 2008
montana?
days since getting sick: 70.
i have realized how confusing my blog must be to readers because i usually talk about what i "hope" or "wish" for, but then only briefly reference actual events. so let me try to catch you up to speed. my problem with visa got fixed. apparently it took a strongly worded e-mail to convince them to refund my $40. i have my mom to thank for that skill. other than that things are pretty much status quo, except for the recent (and greatly appreciated) drop in our temperatures here. tomorrow is not expected to surpass 40º.
i also found out about this non-profit organization called the property and evironment reserarch center, which combines with the environmental cause with free market values. awesome, that's right up my alley! they have even got a summer seminar for undergraduates (similar to those with the institute of humane studies) where you can go for a week and learn about environmental issues from a free market approach. the only issue is that these seminars take place at perc's headquarters in bozeman, montana — seemingly problematic until i realized that (a) since i've resolved to stay in california over this upcoming summer, montana will be a lot easier to get to than if i were in dc, and (b) this is a fab opportunity for a road trip.
see the route from my hometown to perc headquarters
such a roadtrip would give me the opportunity to visit yellowstone as well as muh muh muh MANDY! who will remain at byu idaho during her summer 2009 semester. awesome.
i know it's only a pipe dream, but like so many that i have, this one seemed to make it onto my blog as well.
it's heinously late so i'll wrap this up before delving into anything else, but before i do, here's a theological question i've been pondering: does god help those who help themselves, or do we help ourselves with god's help?
i have realized how confusing my blog must be to readers because i usually talk about what i "hope" or "wish" for, but then only briefly reference actual events. so let me try to catch you up to speed. my problem with visa got fixed. apparently it took a strongly worded e-mail to convince them to refund my $40. i have my mom to thank for that skill. other than that things are pretty much status quo, except for the recent (and greatly appreciated) drop in our temperatures here. tomorrow is not expected to surpass 40º.
i also found out about this non-profit organization called the property and evironment reserarch center, which combines with the environmental cause with free market values. awesome, that's right up my alley! they have even got a summer seminar for undergraduates (similar to those with the institute of humane studies) where you can go for a week and learn about environmental issues from a free market approach. the only issue is that these seminars take place at perc's headquarters in bozeman, montana — seemingly problematic until i realized that (a) since i've resolved to stay in california over this upcoming summer, montana will be a lot easier to get to than if i were in dc, and (b) this is a fab opportunity for a road trip.
see the route from my hometown to perc headquarters
such a roadtrip would give me the opportunity to visit yellowstone as well as muh muh muh MANDY! who will remain at byu idaho during her summer 2009 semester. awesome.
i know it's only a pipe dream, but like so many that i have, this one seemed to make it onto my blog as well.
it's heinously late so i'll wrap this up before delving into anything else, but before i do, here's a theological question i've been pondering: does god help those who help themselves, or do we help ourselves with god's help?
13 November 2008
musings on a rainy thursday afternoon
days since getting sick: 65.
i've been told that i devote so much of my time and energy trying to fix others' lives because i ultimately feel powerless in fixing my own, and it has not been until now that i realize the veracity of that stipulation. catherine hates her roommate, so i spent some time with her last night trying to find a suitable room to switch in to. joe recently endured a heartbreak, so i have been trying to be there for him. a certain colleague of mine hates her job, so i've been chatting with her a lot about finding a new one.
situations like these come and go out of my life on a constant basis, and yet i am still trapped with my own. like the fact that i hate bank of america, i always have, and yet i have stayed because it (up until very recently) has been the only bank with locations both in dc and in california. now, they have charged me a late fee on my visa, even though i lost my visa and the alleged "due date" took place during the period during which i had no visa card, nor any record of it on their website. once again, i'm out of some money — this time, $40. and despite my calling or e-mailing, i can't get out of this unfair charge.
or the fact that, as of one week from tomorrow, i'll be out of a job, even though i have been lauded for my successes at lcv. i haven't found a new job yet, nor have i even started applying, because i am too busy with my schoolwork and my current job.
or the fact that people keep talking to me about prop 8, even though when people do, they don't realize how much they're upsetting me. speaking of which, since when did i become the spokesperson for the gay liberation movement, anyway? (at least my pro-prop 8 friends don't have the nerve to talk to me about this.) california voted, prop 8 won. there's nothing i can do about it.
but worst of all, there's the fact that i still miss phil — not a little bit, but a whole lot — because he was the only one who could ever help me fix my own problems and convince me that everything would be all right.
i've been told that i devote so much of my time and energy trying to fix others' lives because i ultimately feel powerless in fixing my own, and it has not been until now that i realize the veracity of that stipulation. catherine hates her roommate, so i spent some time with her last night trying to find a suitable room to switch in to. joe recently endured a heartbreak, so i have been trying to be there for him. a certain colleague of mine hates her job, so i've been chatting with her a lot about finding a new one.
situations like these come and go out of my life on a constant basis, and yet i am still trapped with my own. like the fact that i hate bank of america, i always have, and yet i have stayed because it (up until very recently) has been the only bank with locations both in dc and in california. now, they have charged me a late fee on my visa, even though i lost my visa and the alleged "due date" took place during the period during which i had no visa card, nor any record of it on their website. once again, i'm out of some money — this time, $40. and despite my calling or e-mailing, i can't get out of this unfair charge.
or the fact that, as of one week from tomorrow, i'll be out of a job, even though i have been lauded for my successes at lcv. i haven't found a new job yet, nor have i even started applying, because i am too busy with my schoolwork and my current job.
or the fact that people keep talking to me about prop 8, even though when people do, they don't realize how much they're upsetting me. speaking of which, since when did i become the spokesperson for the gay liberation movement, anyway? (at least my pro-prop 8 friends don't have the nerve to talk to me about this.) california voted, prop 8 won. there's nothing i can do about it.
but worst of all, there's the fact that i still miss phil — not a little bit, but a whole lot — because he was the only one who could ever help me fix my own problems and convince me that everything would be all right.
06 November 2008
let's fold scarves
days since getting sick: 57.
a few minutes ago, over instant messenger:
joe: blogs are hard to market.
me: haha, i guess… especially ones like mine which have no real universal point of interest.
joe: well, it just needs a mission statement discussion.
me: like...?
joe: oh, i dunno… these things are done on a whiteboard.
me: i mean, what is a mission statement?
joe: to be focused, a program or organization develops a vision statement, mission statement, and goals. the vision statement defines what the ideal would look like. the mission statement defines the organization's role in achieving that vision. the goals are specific measurable steps in performing the mission to gauge effectiveness
me: eh, i think i just prefer ranting to anyone crazy enough to read my blog. oh, and you.
joe: hehe… well that can be a mission statement.
me: my mission statement is let's fold scarves.
joe: yes, let's.
me: my blog takes an adamantly pro-folded scarves platform.
joe: too bad known terrorists have been seen wearing folded scarves. and i hear your folded scarves are muslim.
me: the scarves themselves are muslim? like, the actual cloth?
joe: or maybe muslin.
hahaha. (this is why we're friends.)
in other news, my internship ends in 2 ½ weeks, and i'm actually pretty sad that lcv can't offer me a continuing position as a staff member. i had a pretty good day organizing (not helping organize, but actually organizing) the conference call we're doing with our donors tomorrow, supplemented by going down to the national press club to attend the press conference that lcv's president led. good conversations today with the staff members in my department, too — i think they will miss me.
i was definitely PUMPED by the time i went to meet up with grandma and ivan (her boyfriend) for dinner, which went well although i'm worried the prices at the restaurant i suggested we go to (that place down by the waterfront in georgetown, i forget it's name) might have intimidated them. so i feel bad about that. but now i'm back in my room, having finished my homework for tomorrow and totally avoiding paper writing, résume building, cover letter drafting, even european vacation organizing...
speaking of which, i really need to amp up my search for a new job. fuck, it's already november. i'm going home in 3 weeks and before then i need to not only apply for jobs/internships for the spring semester, but write 2 humongous papers as well. of course, i'd rather do the former — i am beyond ready to graduate! (luckily, my advisor seemed pretty on board with me graduating early.)
i convinced jeffrey to apply to cal state northridge even though he protested it was too close to home. i'm really anxious about him with regards to his college application process, even though he already got into arizona state. i guess this is my way of avoiding thinking about grad school.
oh, and i think something else happened this week... ah, yes, i remember...
YES, WE DID!
a few minutes ago, over instant messenger:
joe: blogs are hard to market.
me: haha, i guess… especially ones like mine which have no real universal point of interest.
joe: well, it just needs a mission statement discussion.
me: like...?
joe: oh, i dunno… these things are done on a whiteboard.
me: i mean, what is a mission statement?
joe: to be focused, a program or organization develops a vision statement, mission statement, and goals. the vision statement defines what the ideal would look like. the mission statement defines the organization's role in achieving that vision. the goals are specific measurable steps in performing the mission to gauge effectiveness
me: eh, i think i just prefer ranting to anyone crazy enough to read my blog. oh, and you.
joe: hehe… well that can be a mission statement.
me: my mission statement is let's fold scarves.
joe: yes, let's.
me: my blog takes an adamantly pro-folded scarves platform.
joe: too bad known terrorists have been seen wearing folded scarves. and i hear your folded scarves are muslim.
me: the scarves themselves are muslim? like, the actual cloth?
joe: or maybe muslin.
hahaha. (this is why we're friends.)
in other news, my internship ends in 2 ½ weeks, and i'm actually pretty sad that lcv can't offer me a continuing position as a staff member. i had a pretty good day organizing (not helping organize, but actually organizing) the conference call we're doing with our donors tomorrow, supplemented by going down to the national press club to attend the press conference that lcv's president led. good conversations today with the staff members in my department, too — i think they will miss me.
i was definitely PUMPED by the time i went to meet up with grandma and ivan (her boyfriend) for dinner, which went well although i'm worried the prices at the restaurant i suggested we go to (that place down by the waterfront in georgetown, i forget it's name) might have intimidated them. so i feel bad about that. but now i'm back in my room, having finished my homework for tomorrow and totally avoiding paper writing, résume building, cover letter drafting, even european vacation organizing...
speaking of which, i really need to amp up my search for a new job. fuck, it's already november. i'm going home in 3 weeks and before then i need to not only apply for jobs/internships for the spring semester, but write 2 humongous papers as well. of course, i'd rather do the former — i am beyond ready to graduate! (luckily, my advisor seemed pretty on board with me graduating early.)
i convinced jeffrey to apply to cal state northridge even though he protested it was too close to home. i'm really anxious about him with regards to his college application process, even though he already got into arizona state. i guess this is my way of avoiding thinking about grad school.
oh, and i think something else happened this week... ah, yes, i remember...
YES, WE DID!
28 October 2008
i'll be home for christmas
days since getting sick: 49.
i really need to stop trying to make my flight plans through student travel services. last night, i was on their website trying to book a one-way flight home for christmas for the seemingly fabulous rate of $170 (you will remember from a previous entry that i am having to do this because the student travel agent i worked with a few weeks ago was unwilling to help me rebook my flight to visit the infamous § as my flight home for christmas). anyway, i clicked through all the screens, and it told me that my rate magically rose to $190. so i thought, "okay, $20 isn't so bad." except it wouldn't let me actually BOOK my flight, so i resolved to go to the travel agency in person to buy my ticket.
this morning, i dragged myself to the travel agency, and while my least favorite travel agent ever was working there, there was also a woman on duty, so i just went ahead and talked to her. she took FOREVER to find the flight i found in 5 minutes, except she said it was $220. hmm, that's a little more than i had bargained for, but since it was still cheaper than booking outside of student travel, i said okay.
agent: "you do have our student travel card, right? otherwise, you won't get this special rate."
1. it's not "special" because it's $50 more than it was originally.
2. i shouldn't need a "student" travel card because i already am a student.
but the ticket without this magic card was $400+, which was more than i saw on the cheapest of the non-student travel flights (about $280), so i decided to shell out the $20 for the card. this brought my rate up to $240 — $70 more than i had seen 12 hours before. whatever. i booked my flight, and long story short, i'll be coming home for christmas on december 19. the agent asked me if i wanted to book my return flight home too. all i could do was roll my eyes and say "noooo."
i hate living so far from home that i have to fly every time i go.
joe will be none too happy to hear that i want to book our flight to europe (!!!) through student travel after he reads this story. he hates lousy customer service almost as much as i do.
other than the fiasco that was this morning (which was supplemented by my realization that i have my 2nd midterm in international politics on thurs.), life is okay. i sent in my absentee ballot yesterday. jeffrey got into arizona state, which was great except he still doesn't know if he got into their college of music, so we'll see how that one goes. grandma is coming in 8 days, so it will be nice to have some family in town again. i spent most of this last weekend hanging out with joe, which was fine by me because i was too exhausted from midterms to even think about going to a party, much less a club. yvette keeps on talking about minnesota, and depending on when she goes, i might try to go with. it's getting colder and colder outside. i want to go on a date again. i miss that.
as yvette would say: LIFE.
i really need to stop trying to make my flight plans through student travel services. last night, i was on their website trying to book a one-way flight home for christmas for the seemingly fabulous rate of $170 (you will remember from a previous entry that i am having to do this because the student travel agent i worked with a few weeks ago was unwilling to help me rebook my flight to visit the infamous § as my flight home for christmas). anyway, i clicked through all the screens, and it told me that my rate magically rose to $190. so i thought, "okay, $20 isn't so bad." except it wouldn't let me actually BOOK my flight, so i resolved to go to the travel agency in person to buy my ticket.
this morning, i dragged myself to the travel agency, and while my least favorite travel agent ever was working there, there was also a woman on duty, so i just went ahead and talked to her. she took FOREVER to find the flight i found in 5 minutes, except she said it was $220. hmm, that's a little more than i had bargained for, but since it was still cheaper than booking outside of student travel, i said okay.
agent: "you do have our student travel card, right? otherwise, you won't get this special rate."
1. it's not "special" because it's $50 more than it was originally.
2. i shouldn't need a "student" travel card because i already am a student.
but the ticket without this magic card was $400+, which was more than i saw on the cheapest of the non-student travel flights (about $280), so i decided to shell out the $20 for the card. this brought my rate up to $240 — $70 more than i had seen 12 hours before. whatever. i booked my flight, and long story short, i'll be coming home for christmas on december 19. the agent asked me if i wanted to book my return flight home too. all i could do was roll my eyes and say "noooo."
i hate living so far from home that i have to fly every time i go.
joe will be none too happy to hear that i want to book our flight to europe (!!!) through student travel after he reads this story. he hates lousy customer service almost as much as i do.
other than the fiasco that was this morning (which was supplemented by my realization that i have my 2nd midterm in international politics on thurs.), life is okay. i sent in my absentee ballot yesterday. jeffrey got into arizona state, which was great except he still doesn't know if he got into their college of music, so we'll see how that one goes. grandma is coming in 8 days, so it will be nice to have some family in town again. i spent most of this last weekend hanging out with joe, which was fine by me because i was too exhausted from midterms to even think about going to a party, much less a club. yvette keeps on talking about minnesota, and depending on when she goes, i might try to go with. it's getting colder and colder outside. i want to go on a date again. i miss that.
as yvette would say: LIFE.
23 October 2008
i didn't always used to be like this...
days since getting sick: 44.
wow, apparently a lot more people read my blog than i thought, because i had several people get in contact with me regarding my recent entries, and specifically my entry from last night. people are saying i've been acting different lately, and that they're worried about me.
if you're one of those people, i'm sorry for worrying you. i'm just under a lot of stress right now, primarily school-wise (this is the week of midterm hell) but also emotional as well...
but like the title of this entry says, i didn't always used to be like this. and you know what? i won't always be like this either.
i took some advice from my dad today, on friends and friendships. i know i'm not supposed to do this, but i'm already a happier person for having done so.
plus, i still have my faith that everything will turn out all right.
*******************************
when you try your best, but you don't succeed
when you get what you want, but not what you need
when you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
stuck in reverse
and the tears come streaming down your face
when you lose something you can't replace
when you love someone, but it goes to waste
could it be worse?
lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
and i will try to fix you
and high up above or down below
when you're too in love to let it go
but if you never try you'll never know
just what you're worth
lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
and i will try to fix you
tears stream down your face
when you lose something you cannot replace
tears stream down your face
and i...
tears stream down on your face
i promise you i will learn from my mistakes
tears stream down your face
and i...
lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
and i will try to fix you.
wow, apparently a lot more people read my blog than i thought, because i had several people get in contact with me regarding my recent entries, and specifically my entry from last night. people are saying i've been acting different lately, and that they're worried about me.
if you're one of those people, i'm sorry for worrying you. i'm just under a lot of stress right now, primarily school-wise (this is the week of midterm hell) but also emotional as well...
but like the title of this entry says, i didn't always used to be like this. and you know what? i won't always be like this either.
i took some advice from my dad today, on friends and friendships. i know i'm not supposed to do this, but i'm already a happier person for having done so.
plus, i still have my faith that everything will turn out all right.
*******************************
when you try your best, but you don't succeed
when you get what you want, but not what you need
when you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
stuck in reverse
and the tears come streaming down your face
when you lose something you can't replace
when you love someone, but it goes to waste
could it be worse?
lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
and i will try to fix you
and high up above or down below
when you're too in love to let it go
but if you never try you'll never know
just what you're worth
lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
and i will try to fix you
tears stream down your face
when you lose something you cannot replace
tears stream down your face
and i...
tears stream down on your face
i promise you i will learn from my mistakes
tears stream down your face
and i...
lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
and i will try to fix you.
22 October 2008
six months ago
in reflection of my blog entry from april 2nd.
WHY DIDN'T I JUST STICK TO THE FUCKING PLAN.
chad and joe are right, i should have done the seminar at ihs. and that apartment in silver spring was fucking amazing, if for no reason* other than the fact that it was a lot closer to the metro. (compare: potential apartment situation in silver spring to actualized apartment situation in college park)
instead, i exhausted myself working 40+ hours a week, didn't see enough of my family, and came home every day to a hovel of an apartment. moorpark's classes would have been a whole lot cheaper than gw's, too, and as general education requirements they would have looked just as nice on my transcript.
now, at what point do i lose the right to attribute all of this to being a "learning experience" and gain the right to attribute this to me being a total freaking dumbass who doesn't think things through and now is just fucking up his life? (let it be known that i didn't used to be like this. i used to be much more rational, reasonable, and emotionally balanced.)
i also fucked up my class schedule for this semester as well, but today's midterm in sociology makes me feel a little less fearful about failing this semester altogether.
days since getting sick: 43.
*also, silver spring, unlike college park, isn't in the middle of the ghetto.
edit, 3:51 a.m.: i can't sleep because i am too fucking upset with myself about this summer.
WHY DIDN'T I JUST STICK TO THE FUCKING PLAN.
chad and joe are right, i should have done the seminar at ihs. and that apartment in silver spring was fucking amazing, if for no reason* other than the fact that it was a lot closer to the metro. (compare: potential apartment situation in silver spring to actualized apartment situation in college park)
instead, i exhausted myself working 40+ hours a week, didn't see enough of my family, and came home every day to a hovel of an apartment. moorpark's classes would have been a whole lot cheaper than gw's, too, and as general education requirements they would have looked just as nice on my transcript.
now, at what point do i lose the right to attribute all of this to being a "learning experience" and gain the right to attribute this to me being a total freaking dumbass who doesn't think things through and now is just fucking up his life? (let it be known that i didn't used to be like this. i used to be much more rational, reasonable, and emotionally balanced.)
i also fucked up my class schedule for this semester as well, but today's midterm in sociology makes me feel a little less fearful about failing this semester altogether.
days since getting sick: 43.
*also, silver spring, unlike college park, isn't in the middle of the ghetto.
edit, 3:51 a.m.: i can't sleep because i am too fucking upset with myself about this summer.
21 October 2008
on friends and friendships
days since getting sick: 42 (i still have tummyaches and dizzy spells so this count persists. don't worry, i'm going back to the doctor).
just a few quick thoughts on the topic of friendship while i take a well-deserved break from cramming for midterms.
just a few quick thoughts on the topic of friendship while i take a well-deserved break from cramming for midterms.
- if you don't oppose proposition 8, then you're not a very supportive friend of mine. it's not a religion issue, it's a civil rights issue. and if you are in favor of prop 8, then you are not in favor of me having rights. if you don't think i should have the right to marry, then i don't think you should have the right to have an abortion, or have cookies before bedtime, or whatever.
- it's human nature for people to talk about each other. but when it devolves into talking trash about your friends, then it makes me question the nature of the friendship as a whole.
- on a related note, if i am acting oddly, don't assume it's solely to garner your attention. and don't tell everyone else that that's why i'm acting as such.
- i know that i can be overly emotional, outrageously tactless, and irritatingly stubborn. you don't need to point these things out to me every time we talk.
- if you want to have a good political argument with me, bring it on, but remember that my beliefs are highly inconsistent with each other and will therefore most likely not even close to what you believe in. there is no need to try to hit me over the head with your own ideology.
- don't try to cheat me out of money.
- don't complain to me for not inviting you out to lunch. you could have done the same.
- don't get mad at me for not inviting you to crash at my place after you get smashed at apex on a thursday night (which i didn't attend) and then act all nonchalant toward me while complaining about my alleged lack of thoughtlessness to my other friends.
- if i tell you that i have a crush on you, don't pretend that you didn't hear me.
- there is no need to remind me that you are x years younger than me (in cases where x > 4). hey, you're the one hanging out with the college kid, and in all likelihood, i've had more life experiences than you anyway.
- on a related note, if you have y more degrees of higher education (in cases where y is any positive non-zero integer) than i do, you don't have to remind me of that either.
- just shut up and help me bury the body. (just kidding... in a literal sense, at least)
- i will ask you one more time: are you, or are you not, dating him?
- remember: i know your secrets.
09 October 2008
how i lost $120
days since getting sick: 29.
someone once said that bad things always happen in threes, and if nothing else, yesterday was indisputable proof for me of that. not one, not two, but three guys in my life showed their true colors yesterday (read: they demonstrated their genuine douchebaggery) and thus turned me off from interacting with them anymore. one was a former flame who ignored me upon passing him on 22nd street, one was a friend with potential who brought up the "friend from home," and one was a potential date who turned out to be the biggest meathead on the planet.
i guess it's a sign that i'm beginning to accept the fact that i'm single — and, frankly, will probably be for a very long time — because i was more pissed off by what happened at the student travel agency than by any of the aforementioned manboys. you see, last march, i bought airline tickets to visit the infamous § in florida. when it turned out that i couldn't go, i was able to easily get a refund for my ticket on airtran from washington to ft. lauderdale. the return ticket, however, was more complicated. i booked it on delta, through student travel, on a flight from ft. lauderdale to new york (where i was going to see my brother in performance at carnegie hall). i called delta, in march, to try to get it refunded. they wouldn't, but they said that i could use the cost of the flight, minus a penalty fee, as a voucher toward any future flight. okay, fine. so i decided to use this voucher toward my flight home for christmas.
i went to the travel agency yesterday and told this to the agent. he rolled his eyes at me and said that i probably didn't have any voucher. but he called delta anyway and found out that i was right ("oh, really? that's surprises me," he said to the representative on the phone with an arched eyebrow). but then he crunched the numbers with me. you see, i bought the ticket for $120. delta charges a penalty fee of $75, which should leave me with $45. however, since i booked the flight through student travel they charged me their own penalty of $25. so by that time, i was down to $20, but hey it's better than nothing so i was more than willing to use it for a flight. hmm, apparently not. the agent told me that my voucher is only good for flights on the ft. lauderdale --> new york route. what the heck?!!? i have never even heard of an airline of pulling such shit like that.
by this point, i was so pissed off by the agent's negligent and cavalier attitude that i left, without even having bought my ticket to go home in december. and even though i was planning on going ahead and buying my ticket at the agency regardless, i was so ticked by the fact that the agent wasn't willing to help me out that i decided to just take care of it online at home. as someone who used to work in the service sector, i am always very put off by poor customer service, but i digress.
this incident, in conjunction with the heart attack i nearly had after seeing my visa bill for last month, made me realize the necessity of me being a little more conservative with my money. or, maybe, i need to be more reserved in general: i am sick of meeting all these guys and them turning out to be assholes, usually before anything even begins. and the best way to avoid this, of course, is not to even meet them in the first place. perhaps, then, this is the best course of action for me to take for now. for in the end, a new boy is like a roundtrip flight: he seems to be taking you somewhere at first, but in the end, you're right back where you started.
someone once said that bad things always happen in threes, and if nothing else, yesterday was indisputable proof for me of that. not one, not two, but three guys in my life showed their true colors yesterday (read: they demonstrated their genuine douchebaggery) and thus turned me off from interacting with them anymore. one was a former flame who ignored me upon passing him on 22nd street, one was a friend with potential who brought up the "friend from home," and one was a potential date who turned out to be the biggest meathead on the planet.
i guess it's a sign that i'm beginning to accept the fact that i'm single — and, frankly, will probably be for a very long time — because i was more pissed off by what happened at the student travel agency than by any of the aforementioned manboys. you see, last march, i bought airline tickets to visit the infamous § in florida. when it turned out that i couldn't go, i was able to easily get a refund for my ticket on airtran from washington to ft. lauderdale. the return ticket, however, was more complicated. i booked it on delta, through student travel, on a flight from ft. lauderdale to new york (where i was going to see my brother in performance at carnegie hall). i called delta, in march, to try to get it refunded. they wouldn't, but they said that i could use the cost of the flight, minus a penalty fee, as a voucher toward any future flight. okay, fine. so i decided to use this voucher toward my flight home for christmas.
i went to the travel agency yesterday and told this to the agent. he rolled his eyes at me and said that i probably didn't have any voucher. but he called delta anyway and found out that i was right ("oh, really? that's surprises me," he said to the representative on the phone with an arched eyebrow). but then he crunched the numbers with me. you see, i bought the ticket for $120. delta charges a penalty fee of $75, which should leave me with $45. however, since i booked the flight through student travel they charged me their own penalty of $25. so by that time, i was down to $20, but hey it's better than nothing so i was more than willing to use it for a flight. hmm, apparently not. the agent told me that my voucher is only good for flights on the ft. lauderdale --> new york route. what the heck?!!? i have never even heard of an airline of pulling such shit like that.
by this point, i was so pissed off by the agent's negligent and cavalier attitude that i left, without even having bought my ticket to go home in december. and even though i was planning on going ahead and buying my ticket at the agency regardless, i was so ticked by the fact that the agent wasn't willing to help me out that i decided to just take care of it online at home. as someone who used to work in the service sector, i am always very put off by poor customer service, but i digress.
this incident, in conjunction with the heart attack i nearly had after seeing my visa bill for last month, made me realize the necessity of me being a little more conservative with my money. or, maybe, i need to be more reserved in general: i am sick of meeting all these guys and them turning out to be assholes, usually before anything even begins. and the best way to avoid this, of course, is not to even meet them in the first place. perhaps, then, this is the best course of action for me to take for now. for in the end, a new boy is like a roundtrip flight: he seems to be taking you somewhere at first, but in the end, you're right back where you started.
05 October 2008
does anyone else wish they were...
...another person?
...in another place?
...in another time?
(pick and choose from above, or all three together)
days since getting sick: 26.
i'm in my mom's hotel room in northern virginia right now. it's nice having her in town, but i am a little tired from running around with her these past 2 days. i've been pushing myself hard to spend time with her and now i feel yucky.
however, we went to the doctor on friday, who seems to think i'm lactose intolerant. this sucks. no more mac and cheese for me. :(
maybe i'll talk more about that later, right now i'm tired and in a sad mood at that.
...in another place?
...in another time?
(pick and choose from above, or all three together)
days since getting sick: 26.
i'm in my mom's hotel room in northern virginia right now. it's nice having her in town, but i am a little tired from running around with her these past 2 days. i've been pushing myself hard to spend time with her and now i feel yucky.
however, we went to the doctor on friday, who seems to think i'm lactose intolerant. this sucks. no more mac and cheese for me. :(
maybe i'll talk more about that later, right now i'm tired and in a sad mood at that.
02 October 2008
my mind is doing somersaults
the facebook wall-to-wall, brought to my attention by miss patty herself:
and then:
HOLY FUCKING SHIT.
why the hell did i never notice this before??!!?!?!???
and then:
HOLY FUCKING SHIT.
why the hell did i never notice this before??!!?!?!???
if you lived here, you'd be home now
days since getting sick: 23.
upon running into molly anixt on sunday at potbelly's, i learned that she had spent the summer at home, working for bay area rapid transit. although she commented that a lot of her job entailed bitch work, i still found myself jealous of her having been able to be involved in the applied concepts of city infrastructure and urban design. as many of you know, that field is what i am truly passionate about, but unfortunately, gw offers no related major. i can take relevant classes, but i can't actually get a degree in urban whatever until grad school (university of minnesota!!!!!).
that all being said, i've decided i really like my course of study. classes in the political science department feature a mish-mosh of learnings in history, geography, philosophy, sociology, international relations, even more ornate subjects like community development and organizational science. in fact, i'm even considering changing my major from public policy (a concentration within gw's political science department) to a broader major in general political science. that way, i can choose from a greater variety of courses in the department to take, rather than limit myself to ones geared toward the study of applied law/policy and toward those damn pre-law wannabes.
even so, i nonetheless find myself jealous of molly's job. while i do love working for league of conservation voters and think the things i've learned there have been invaluable - from the structure of the u.s. government to lessons in professionalism - i would really enjoy if my next internship were based more on urban development. however, i want to go home for next summer. truth be told, although i did have fun this summer (and, like i said, i learned a lot), i nevertheless wish i had gone back to california. i miss my friends and family, and i don't think i enjoy gw as much as i would have if i had gone home. of course, the question behind all this is: if i go home next summer, where would i work?? ventura county isn't exactly a bastion of transportation organizations and development-related non-profit organizations, you know (the latter being especially true, seeing as the area has adopted "slow growth" policies). i could apply to intern for los angeles metro, but their office is an hour and a half's commute away (think manassas to washington!), and my mom apparently had a lead at the city hall of thousand oaks, but i don't know too much beyond that. (i guess we can't all be lucky enough to be from the bay area!)
oh, well. i guess i've got some time to figure that all out, considering this is only the 5th week of the school year. nevertheless, i still think i want to come home to ventura county, at least for most of next summer. i've missed too much being away and i don't want to miss more... however, gw has some 6-week summer abroad programs that look pretty enticing. maybe i'll pursue one of those to complement my summer plans.
in the meantime, mom's coming into town TODAY and i can't wait to see her!!! she can't find this out because she's already in the air, but i'm going to surprise her at the airport terminal!!! :)
(this means missing sociology but i don't care, ha ha)
p.s. romeo and juliet was wicked AMAZING. the same theatre company is doing twelfth night in december and i am definitely going to that... if you wanna go with. :)
upon running into molly anixt on sunday at potbelly's, i learned that she had spent the summer at home, working for bay area rapid transit. although she commented that a lot of her job entailed bitch work, i still found myself jealous of her having been able to be involved in the applied concepts of city infrastructure and urban design. as many of you know, that field is what i am truly passionate about, but unfortunately, gw offers no related major. i can take relevant classes, but i can't actually get a degree in urban whatever until grad school (university of minnesota!!!!!).
that all being said, i've decided i really like my course of study. classes in the political science department feature a mish-mosh of learnings in history, geography, philosophy, sociology, international relations, even more ornate subjects like community development and organizational science. in fact, i'm even considering changing my major from public policy (a concentration within gw's political science department) to a broader major in general political science. that way, i can choose from a greater variety of courses in the department to take, rather than limit myself to ones geared toward the study of applied law/policy and toward those damn pre-law wannabes.
even so, i nonetheless find myself jealous of molly's job. while i do love working for league of conservation voters and think the things i've learned there have been invaluable - from the structure of the u.s. government to lessons in professionalism - i would really enjoy if my next internship were based more on urban development. however, i want to go home for next summer. truth be told, although i did have fun this summer (and, like i said, i learned a lot), i nevertheless wish i had gone back to california. i miss my friends and family, and i don't think i enjoy gw as much as i would have if i had gone home. of course, the question behind all this is: if i go home next summer, where would i work?? ventura county isn't exactly a bastion of transportation organizations and development-related non-profit organizations, you know (the latter being especially true, seeing as the area has adopted "slow growth" policies). i could apply to intern for los angeles metro, but their office is an hour and a half's commute away (think manassas to washington!), and my mom apparently had a lead at the city hall of thousand oaks, but i don't know too much beyond that. (i guess we can't all be lucky enough to be from the bay area!)
oh, well. i guess i've got some time to figure that all out, considering this is only the 5th week of the school year. nevertheless, i still think i want to come home to ventura county, at least for most of next summer. i've missed too much being away and i don't want to miss more... however, gw has some 6-week summer abroad programs that look pretty enticing. maybe i'll pursue one of those to complement my summer plans.
in the meantime, mom's coming into town TODAY and i can't wait to see her!!! she can't find this out because she's already in the air, but i'm going to surprise her at the airport terminal!!! :)
(this means missing sociology but i don't care, ha ha)
p.s. romeo and juliet was wicked AMAZING. the same theatre company is doing twelfth night in december and i am definitely going to that... if you wanna go with. :)
27 September 2008
another post from my blackberry
days since getting sick: 18.
well, i didn't go to nyc this weekend with the joe/andy/william/etc. coalition as planned. i'm still not feeling great. as for now it's more important that i get better as much as possible before the agony that is midterms, which are just around the corner, prevails. i really don't regret my decision: it's quite nice staying on campus, chilling with my gdub amigos, etc. i so do not have a penchant for travel. plus, now, i get to go see romeo & juliet downtown tomorrow night for only $10. that's a hell of a lot cheaper than the $139/seat tickets blaine found for us at avenue q!
other than being sick, gdubbs is all right. i'm a lot better off right now than i was one year ago at this time. i'm having a lot of fun right now because i am reconnecting with the people i haven't hung out with since the 1st weekend of school, the last time i actually felt well. still, this year is a wholly different dynamic from the last. some friendships are stronger and others, i hate to say, have diminished. but it's all for the best. i have great friends right now.
i miss college park. pablo is cool and all, but i definitely miss my girls (and kieran too). i've been homesick a lot lately, too. yes, for thousand oaks. i've never been like this before. luckily, mama ross is coming to visit next week. it will be good to see her.
finally, work is going great. i feel more capable than ever before. that plus my political science classes this semester make me feel really confident about being a public policy major.
ok, i'm at farragut west right now, so that means i'm the next stop. i'll try to write more often from now on.
well, i didn't go to nyc this weekend with the joe/andy/william/etc. coalition as planned. i'm still not feeling great. as for now it's more important that i get better as much as possible before the agony that is midterms, which are just around the corner, prevails. i really don't regret my decision: it's quite nice staying on campus, chilling with my gdub amigos, etc. i so do not have a penchant for travel. plus, now, i get to go see romeo & juliet downtown tomorrow night for only $10. that's a hell of a lot cheaper than the $139/seat tickets blaine found for us at avenue q!
other than being sick, gdubbs is all right. i'm a lot better off right now than i was one year ago at this time. i'm having a lot of fun right now because i am reconnecting with the people i haven't hung out with since the 1st weekend of school, the last time i actually felt well. still, this year is a wholly different dynamic from the last. some friendships are stronger and others, i hate to say, have diminished. but it's all for the best. i have great friends right now.
i miss college park. pablo is cool and all, but i definitely miss my girls (and kieran too). i've been homesick a lot lately, too. yes, for thousand oaks. i've never been like this before. luckily, mama ross is coming to visit next week. it will be good to see her.
finally, work is going great. i feel more capable than ever before. that plus my political science classes this semester make me feel really confident about being a public policy major.
ok, i'm at farragut west right now, so that means i'm the next stop. i'll try to write more often from now on.
22 September 2008
i'll be frank...
days since getting sick: 12.
mom's coming to visit the weekend after next, and if i'm not better by then, i'm going back to california with her.
no questions, please.
mom's coming to visit the weekend after next, and if i'm not better by then, i'm going back to california with her.
no questions, please.
16 September 2008
third week slump
days since getting sick: 6.
i am writing this post from my blackberry, not my laptop, because my laptop has once again decided to totally crash. fortunately, this time around, all of my files are backed up as of last night. still, i hate having to contend with these issues, especially with chemistry class being in 20 minutes.
i am already completely fed up with this year. i have been sick basically the entire time, the most recent nuisance being a stomach virus that started on wednesday. i can't eat because i'll throw it all up. i can't sleep because my stomach is in constant turmoil. i can't walk because i am too weak from living off this brat diet. i can't concentrate because all i can think about is how terrible i feel.
i hate this. i'm hungry and in pain. i'm sleep-exhausted because after work and class i still have to do homework, but then i get too tired and fall asleep, so i'm behind in all my classes. i'm grumpy and in pain and frustrated over my fucking computer and the fact that i'm still not better and that every guy i meet is a self-serving egotist. i hate how i look and i feel. i hate my classes. i am overworked and underpaid. i never see my friends and i feel so alone. i can't afford to take a day off. i'm wondering when i'll get "used to" things and not mind these constant nuisances in my life. all i want to do is cry.
i can't believe i am forcing myself to go to my goddamn chemistry class now.
i am writing this post from my blackberry, not my laptop, because my laptop has once again decided to totally crash. fortunately, this time around, all of my files are backed up as of last night. still, i hate having to contend with these issues, especially with chemistry class being in 20 minutes.
i am already completely fed up with this year. i have been sick basically the entire time, the most recent nuisance being a stomach virus that started on wednesday. i can't eat because i'll throw it all up. i can't sleep because my stomach is in constant turmoil. i can't walk because i am too weak from living off this brat diet. i can't concentrate because all i can think about is how terrible i feel.
i hate this. i'm hungry and in pain. i'm sleep-exhausted because after work and class i still have to do homework, but then i get too tired and fall asleep, so i'm behind in all my classes. i'm grumpy and in pain and frustrated over my fucking computer and the fact that i'm still not better and that every guy i meet is a self-serving egotist. i hate how i look and i feel. i hate my classes. i am overworked and underpaid. i never see my friends and i feel so alone. i can't afford to take a day off. i'm wondering when i'll get "used to" things and not mind these constant nuisances in my life. all i want to do is cry.
i can't believe i am forcing myself to go to my goddamn chemistry class now.
09 September 2008
live from funger hall!
other classes i am taking this semester:
✓ advanced spanish grammar
✓ sociology of law
✓ contemporary science for non-science majors
i like them all, with the exception of the sociology class. i don't think the professor knows what he's doing, but that's the trade-off when you've got an adjunct.
work is good. lcv keeps me busy. i am getting excited for this election.
pablo and i still aren't friends yet. i don't think he likes me very much. at least our room is quite large. even though he has seemingly taken over the coffeetable, that's okay because i got the coat closet... and the kitchen (since pablo doesn't cook).
oh yeah, and i got hit my a car today. actually, it was more like he was "stopped" in the crosswalk while i was trying to cross h street, except he was inching forward, and then he tapped my leg. i'm not hurt or anything, but it just shows how stupid some people are. ugh.
back to the debate, i think i am siding with the team supposing that presidential campaigns don't matter. or maybe it's because they are more eloquent. :)
so begins another year of late nights in gelman
the glove compartment is inaccurately named
and everybody knows it.
so i'm proposing a swift orderly change.
cause behind its door there's nothing to keep my fingers warm
and all i find are souvenirs from better times
before the gleam of your taillights fading east
to find yourself a better life.
i was searching for some legal document
as the rain beat down on the hood
when i stumbled upon pictures i tried to forget
and that's how this idea was drilled into my head
cause it's too important
to stay the way it's been
there's no blame for how our love did slowly fade
and now that it's gone it's like it wasn't there at all
and here i rest where disappointment and regret collide
lying awake at night
there's no blame for how our love did slowly fade
and now that it's gone it's like it wasn't there at all
and here i rest where disappointment and regret collide
lying awake at night (up all night)
when i'm lying awake at night.
and everybody knows it.
so i'm proposing a swift orderly change.
cause behind its door there's nothing to keep my fingers warm
and all i find are souvenirs from better times
before the gleam of your taillights fading east
to find yourself a better life.
i was searching for some legal document
as the rain beat down on the hood
when i stumbled upon pictures i tried to forget
and that's how this idea was drilled into my head
cause it's too important
to stay the way it's been
there's no blame for how our love did slowly fade
and now that it's gone it's like it wasn't there at all
and here i rest where disappointment and regret collide
lying awake at night
there's no blame for how our love did slowly fade
and now that it's gone it's like it wasn't there at all
and here i rest where disappointment and regret collide
lying awake at night (up all night)
when i'm lying awake at night.
31 August 2008
back in the district
i'm back from california and have moved into my dorm at gwu. it's really nice. there is plenty of space for both pablo and myself. he's a bit on the quiet side, though. i am hoping that will change.
i can see the washington monument out of my east-facing windows, though. :)
it's great to be living back at gwu again. even though i lived in college park this summer and even worked in farragut square, everything still feels fresh and exciting here in foggy bottom. it makes me think more and more about doing the "four years in college" thing and taking a lot of electives. (otherwise, i'd graduate in 3 thanks to advanced placement and community college.)
that's it for now.
i can see the washington monument out of my east-facing windows, though. :)
it's great to be living back at gwu again. even though i lived in college park this summer and even worked in farragut square, everything still feels fresh and exciting here in foggy bottom. it makes me think more and more about doing the "four years in college" thing and taking a lot of electives. (otherwise, i'd graduate in 3 thanks to advanced placement and community college.)
that's it for now.
25 August 2008
back in california for a bit
peeps i have hung out with since getting back to california:
✓ irina li
✓ amanda packard
✓ adam potischman
✓ allan steiner
✓ melissa steiner
✓ linda langlois
definitely the most random group of people but apparently these are the people i still keep in contact with. it's funny how these things turn out. i'm also meeting lilyrybak sherman and marissa podell for coffee tomorrow. sadly, i won't be able to make it to bryan aka lord byron aka washington irving aka michael ross aka broth's 20th (!!!) birthday thing on wednesday. there's never enough time in california.
that being said, i'm actually having a better time here than i usually do. it's given me a lot of time to decompress and not think about you know who. i still miss him, but it's great being around my family. and i had some great talks with my friends about my situation ― they've helped me realize that this summer, in its entirety, has been a learning experience for me, from learning about the political scene and how to act professional to living on my own and the subject of romance. so i guess it's nice that this week has been able to give me some perspective on the rest of my summer/life.
however, i've realized that there are some things i want to do when i get back to washington. these include: (and you are more than welcome to join me, in fact i'd love it)
it's not even 11 yet, but i'm still on east coast time, so i need to go to bed.
✓ irina li
✓ amanda packard
✓ adam potischman
✓ allan steiner
✓ melissa steiner
✓ linda langlois
definitely the most random group of people but apparently these are the people i still keep in contact with. it's funny how these things turn out. i'm also meeting lily
that being said, i'm actually having a better time here than i usually do. it's given me a lot of time to decompress and not think about you know who. i still miss him, but it's great being around my family. and i had some great talks with my friends about my situation ― they've helped me realize that this summer, in its entirety, has been a learning experience for me, from learning about the political scene and how to act professional to living on my own and the subject of romance. so i guess it's nice that this week has been able to give me some perspective on the rest of my summer/life.
however, i've realized that there are some things i want to do when i get back to washington. these include: (and you are more than welcome to join me, in fact i'd love it)
- going to a few baseball games
- taking a class at a dance studio
- finding a shooting gallery
- reading fear and loathing in las vegas
- visiting other east coast cities
- working out more
- registering as a member of apsa (has anyone else done this?
it's not even 11 yet, but i'm still on east coast time, so i need to go to bed.
21 August 2008
the sun is up, it shines on you, it's beautiful and so are you
i'm looking out the window noticing the first iota of daylight breaking through the blackness. and yet i am still not asleep. i really did mean to ― after all, i'm flying to california in a couple of hours ― but life happened instead.
first i went out to dinner with joe after work, which was okay except he made a few comments about me which hurt my feelings but i didn't vocalize that, then i turned around and made a similar comment which he flipped out about. i was half-temped to walk out of the restaurant right then and there but instead i just apologized and then we moved on. whatever. then i get home and omg, somebody should have told me that there was a party going on in apartment 410 tonight because it was HOPPIN'!!! drea was there along with josh dunietz as well as josh dunietz's new girlfriend, who is fabulous and i totally approve of, and we definitely had a bangin' time, supplemented by a trip to d.p. dough's. the old-enoughs never quite made it to the bar, because before we knew it, it was 2 am and everyone was exhausted. so josh dunietz and the g/f went home, then drea and i had an espn-esque post-hangout discussion which quickly turned into me recounting my entire love life from 2004 to the present. life. so then drea left, and of course i still hadn't packed, so i just decided to stay up all night instead. got sucked into a few aim conversations with some california friends i'm dying to see, blah blah blah, so here we are now, i'm about to catch the metro to greenbelt and take the b30 bus from there to bwi (a.k.a. bothersome while inexpensive). going to arrive at lax at 11:45 their time. good stuff.
moral of the story: if you're around, i'm around, so let's be around... each other! :)
first i went out to dinner with joe after work, which was okay except he made a few comments about me which hurt my feelings but i didn't vocalize that, then i turned around and made a similar comment which he flipped out about. i was half-temped to walk out of the restaurant right then and there but instead i just apologized and then we moved on. whatever. then i get home and omg, somebody should have told me that there was a party going on in apartment 410 tonight because it was HOPPIN'!!! drea was there along with josh dunietz as well as josh dunietz's new girlfriend, who is fabulous and i totally approve of, and we definitely had a bangin' time, supplemented by a trip to d.p. dough's. the old-enoughs never quite made it to the bar, because before we knew it, it was 2 am and everyone was exhausted. so josh dunietz and the g/f went home, then drea and i had an espn-esque post-hangout discussion which quickly turned into me recounting my entire love life from 2004 to the present. life. so then drea left, and of course i still hadn't packed, so i just decided to stay up all night instead. got sucked into a few aim conversations with some california friends i'm dying to see, blah blah blah, so here we are now, i'm about to catch the metro to greenbelt and take the b30 bus from there to bwi (a.k.a. bothersome while inexpensive). going to arrive at lax at 11:45 their time. good stuff.
moral of the story: if you're around, i'm around, so let's be around... each other! :)
18 August 2008
hey there delilah, what's it like in new york city?
most of you who regularly read this blog have played the unfortunate witness to the ongoing drama that is phil's and my relationship, and re-reading the last several entries of this blog i have realized that a central part that he (along with the emotions of mine that his actions seem to spur) is in my life. for those of you who don't know, phil is a great (and i do say great) guy who i have been friends with, dated, hooked up, combinations of those, all three at once, and none of those at various points within the last 9 months. to that end, i am vowing to make this the last entry in which i talk about phil.
it all comes back to new york. joe and i took a spontaneous day trip there yesterday, and, while it was loads of fun (we shopped, walked around, and had dinner at a nice restaurant), i still found myself dwelling on phil (who went to high school in nyc). i think i still like him, and i do find myself wishing that he were mine. it's like that beatles lyric, "well i'd rather see you dead, little girl, than to be with another man." that song always makes me think of him (though phil is far from a "little girl," lol).
so i had a looong talk with him today, and i'll spare you the details, but in the end, i told him that while he's a catch and i really do want to be friends with him... until i can find a way to leave my emotions behind me, i can't. and since one of my biggest character flaws is my tendency to dwell on the past, i don't think this is going to be for a while. so, i told him not to contact me until i contact him. he was incredibly understanding, he wished me well, and he said he looked forward to talking to me again in the future.
and that's that.
there is a prayer, called the serenity prayer, that goes like this: "god, grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, courage to change the things i can, and the wisdom to know the difference. " the fact that he and i will never be together is something that i cannot change, but i can change how i deal with that. only now, though, do i truly have the wisdom to recognize both of those things. honestly, this is one of the hardest things i have had to do. i have cried a lot this week because i knew this was coming, and today, of course, did not permit the tears to relent.
but in the end, it is the mature thing to do. i am investing in my future. maybe now, i can move on. you may say that it will happen, but honestly i don't know if it's possible. i'm willing to try, though. if tila tequila can take a shot at love, so can i.
by and large, this summer was not the best. my apartment sucks, i never quite made it to philly or boston, and i didn't get to see my friends nearly as much as i'd hoped. but it was an investment in my future. my internship will help me get a better job later on, my class will allow me to graduate in may 2010, and i have the experience on living on my own for future knowledge. i write this knowing what a strech it is for me to have to justify all this as such. but it's true. this will all help me one day. this is the path i've chosen, and it will take me to where the lord has determined that i need to be later in life. until i get there, however, i will be morose. and that's how i feel about this whole phil situation. morose. but, it will provide me with what i will need down the road in my (love) life.
and, with that, i lay the demons of my past to rest, as i anticipate the future. who knows, maybe phil and i will one day find a way to be friends. this is very similar to what happened between adam and i in high school, and it is now just as it is then: what i need is time.
(i apologize for the overly emotional nature of this entry, by the way. it just needed to be said.)
it all comes back to new york. joe and i took a spontaneous day trip there yesterday, and, while it was loads of fun (we shopped, walked around, and had dinner at a nice restaurant), i still found myself dwelling on phil (who went to high school in nyc). i think i still like him, and i do find myself wishing that he were mine. it's like that beatles lyric, "well i'd rather see you dead, little girl, than to be with another man." that song always makes me think of him (though phil is far from a "little girl," lol).
so i had a looong talk with him today, and i'll spare you the details, but in the end, i told him that while he's a catch and i really do want to be friends with him... until i can find a way to leave my emotions behind me, i can't. and since one of my biggest character flaws is my tendency to dwell on the past, i don't think this is going to be for a while. so, i told him not to contact me until i contact him. he was incredibly understanding, he wished me well, and he said he looked forward to talking to me again in the future.
and that's that.
there is a prayer, called the serenity prayer, that goes like this: "god, grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, courage to change the things i can, and the wisdom to know the difference. " the fact that he and i will never be together is something that i cannot change, but i can change how i deal with that. only now, though, do i truly have the wisdom to recognize both of those things. honestly, this is one of the hardest things i have had to do. i have cried a lot this week because i knew this was coming, and today, of course, did not permit the tears to relent.
but in the end, it is the mature thing to do. i am investing in my future. maybe now, i can move on. you may say that it will happen, but honestly i don't know if it's possible. i'm willing to try, though. if tila tequila can take a shot at love, so can i.
by and large, this summer was not the best. my apartment sucks, i never quite made it to philly or boston, and i didn't get to see my friends nearly as much as i'd hoped. but it was an investment in my future. my internship will help me get a better job later on, my class will allow me to graduate in may 2010, and i have the experience on living on my own for future knowledge. i write this knowing what a strech it is for me to have to justify all this as such. but it's true. this will all help me one day. this is the path i've chosen, and it will take me to where the lord has determined that i need to be later in life. until i get there, however, i will be morose. and that's how i feel about this whole phil situation. morose. but, it will provide me with what i will need down the road in my (love) life.
and, with that, i lay the demons of my past to rest, as i anticipate the future. who knows, maybe phil and i will one day find a way to be friends. this is very similar to what happened between adam and i in high school, and it is now just as it is then: what i need is time.
(i apologize for the overly emotional nature of this entry, by the way. it just needed to be said.)
12 August 2008
the facebook stalkerfeed gave me quite a shock today...
bryan transferred out of gwu. i'm sure most of you know by now, but it's true. the long story short is that his coach (varsity tennis) was being a total dick, as always, even though it was his fault in the first place that bryan is injured and unable to play. not only that, but needing surgery. so as a last-minute deal, bryan transferred to saint louis university. at least he is now at a school that appreciates his abilities, and he is closer to the bulk of his family.
of course, that leaves me without a roommate... er, not really. gw took the liberty of plopping some kid named pablo -- a transfer student, i reckon -- in with me in my penthouse suite. i have a bad feeling about all this. i don't know anything about this guy. he could be a total dick for all i know. a crack addict, a homophobe. i haven't even talked to him, even on facebook, but my stomach is giving me an unsettling feeling about this entire situation.
oh, don't sell me short quite yet. i sent him an e-mail a couple hours ago extending the olive branch. of course, if he's anything like trevor (or any new student at gw, for that matter), he won't know how to use his gw mail until after he gets to school. kieran tried showing me how to use our new e-mail system. i gave up after about 2 minutes and decided to continue letting everything automatically be forwarded to my gmail.
back in the affairs of the apartment du jour, maintenance still hasn't come to resolve toilet fiasco 2008. kieran and i must have drawn the short stick in terms of choosing bathrooms. i can't wait until next week when our sink will overflow or my medicine cabinet will fall on my head and crack open my skull.
oh, and we apparently have a mouse (multiple mice?) living in our apartment. good god, which circle of hell have i signed a lease for?
just a few weeks left of summer. the final for my summer school class is on thursday, then one week from then i'm going to southern california. i've decided i'm looking forward more to that than to school starting. especially now that bryan's left. the funny thing is that last time i was in california, i told my closest friends about phil and asked them if i should pursue a romantic relationship with him. now, an entire summer has past, he and i have fought, semi-made up, i've realized that i still have feelings for him and now i am trying to put him in my past again. i wonder how i will explain this all to my friends. (i guess in the same way i did just now.)
but i digress. i've been on a few dates lately. nothing to speak of. meh, it's just as well. i have work in the morning.
of course, that leaves me without a roommate... er, not really. gw took the liberty of plopping some kid named pablo -- a transfer student, i reckon -- in with me in my penthouse suite. i have a bad feeling about all this. i don't know anything about this guy. he could be a total dick for all i know. a crack addict, a homophobe. i haven't even talked to him, even on facebook, but my stomach is giving me an unsettling feeling about this entire situation.
oh, don't sell me short quite yet. i sent him an e-mail a couple hours ago extending the olive branch. of course, if he's anything like trevor (or any new student at gw, for that matter), he won't know how to use his gw mail until after he gets to school. kieran tried showing me how to use our new e-mail system. i gave up after about 2 minutes and decided to continue letting everything automatically be forwarded to my gmail.
back in the affairs of the apartment du jour, maintenance still hasn't come to resolve toilet fiasco 2008. kieran and i must have drawn the short stick in terms of choosing bathrooms. i can't wait until next week when our sink will overflow or my medicine cabinet will fall on my head and crack open my skull.
oh, and we apparently have a mouse (multiple mice?) living in our apartment. good god, which circle of hell have i signed a lease for?
just a few weeks left of summer. the final for my summer school class is on thursday, then one week from then i'm going to southern california. i've decided i'm looking forward more to that than to school starting. especially now that bryan's left. the funny thing is that last time i was in california, i told my closest friends about phil and asked them if i should pursue a romantic relationship with him. now, an entire summer has past, he and i have fought, semi-made up, i've realized that i still have feelings for him and now i am trying to put him in my past again. i wonder how i will explain this all to my friends. (i guess in the same way i did just now.)
but i digress. i've been on a few dates lately. nothing to speak of. meh, it's just as well. i have work in the morning.
10 August 2008
musings on a lonely sunday morning
is it all the men i meet who are assholes? or is it just me?
god bless blaine butler for driving joe and i to olive garden later today.
god bless blaine butler for driving joe and i to olive garden later today.
09 August 2008
you know you live in prince george's county when you're willing to do this
in the pinnacle of ghettoness in terms of my apartment, the chain in my toilet which provides the flushing mechanism broke off. in other words, we can't flush. and it doesn't help that kieran and i BOTH forgot about this so our bathroom started to smell like... well, you know what. so at the apex of my desperation, i wrapped my bony arm in plastic bags, reached into my toilet, and manually flushed it.
UGHHHHH.
yes, maintenence is coming tomorrow to fix my toilet. but i was getting desperate. our bathroom was starting to smell terrible, and besides, i'm a go-getter. anyway, i think this is enough of a favor to make kieran my personal bitch for the next month or so.
in other, less disgusting news, it has been a week since the other development intern has left lcv to go study abroad in españa, and i think i'm doing well without her. it's a lot of work, trying to do 2 people's jobs at once, but my renewed faith in myself and my job ― supplemented by elizabeth (the head of the dept.)'s renewing my internship through the election ― has provided me with the strength and the determination to do an even better job at work than i did before. i am actually quite thankful to be at lcv through november 27 ― it will be exciting to be a member of lcv WHEN (not if) obama gets elected. :)
another benefit about continuing to work at lcv: our departmental retreat!!! those whack-jobs in communications went kayaking down the potomac. luckily, we don't have to do that.
elizabeth: "our department consists of women and michael. we're going to get our nails done." :)
so, does anyone know any quality but mid-priced nail salons in washington???
oh, and i realized i'm going to california in a week and a half. yay...i think? traveling is such a pain, but truth be told i'm looking forward to seeing the rents and el jefe, even though it's only for a little bit (which might actually be more virtuous, ha ha).
my final exam for biological anthropology is on thursday... good lord. i should probably study but i'm on blogger instead.
also, i continue to impress myself with my not ever going out of town. woo.
pics from the summer, especially fredericksburg, to be posted EVENTUALLY... heh.
that's it for now.
UGHHHHH.
yes, maintenence is coming tomorrow to fix my toilet. but i was getting desperate. our bathroom was starting to smell terrible, and besides, i'm a go-getter. anyway, i think this is enough of a favor to make kieran my personal bitch for the next month or so.
in other, less disgusting news, it has been a week since the other development intern has left lcv to go study abroad in españa, and i think i'm doing well without her. it's a lot of work, trying to do 2 people's jobs at once, but my renewed faith in myself and my job ― supplemented by elizabeth (the head of the dept.)'s renewing my internship through the election ― has provided me with the strength and the determination to do an even better job at work than i did before. i am actually quite thankful to be at lcv through november 27 ― it will be exciting to be a member of lcv WHEN (not if) obama gets elected. :)
another benefit about continuing to work at lcv: our departmental retreat!!! those whack-jobs in communications went kayaking down the potomac. luckily, we don't have to do that.
elizabeth: "our department consists of women and michael. we're going to get our nails done." :)
so, does anyone know any quality but mid-priced nail salons in washington???
oh, and i realized i'm going to california in a week and a half. yay...i think? traveling is such a pain, but truth be told i'm looking forward to seeing the rents and el jefe, even though it's only for a little bit (which might actually be more virtuous, ha ha).
my final exam for biological anthropology is on thursday... good lord. i should probably study but i'm on blogger instead.
also, i continue to impress myself with my not ever going out of town. woo.
pics from the summer, especially fredericksburg, to be posted EVENTUALLY... heh.
that's it for now.
05 August 2008
ojalá...
i just want you close
where you can stay forever
you can be sure
that it will only get better
you and me together
through the days and nights
i don't worry 'cause
everything's going to be alright
people keep talking they can say what they like
but all i know is everything's going to be alright
no one, no one, no one
can get in the way of what i'm feeling
no one, no one, no one
can get in the way of what i feel for you, you, you
can get in the way of what i feel for you
when the rain is pouring down
and my heart is hurting
you will always be around
this i know for certain
you and me together
through the days and nights
i don't worry 'cause
everything's going to be alright
people keep talking they can say what they like
but all i know is everything's going to be alright
no one, no one, no one
can get in the way of what i'm feeling
no one, no one, no one
can get in the way of what i feel for you, you, you
can get in the way of what i feel
i know some people search the world
to find something like what we have
i know people will try try to divide something so real
so till the end of time i'm telling you there ain't no one
no one, no one, no one
can get in the way of what i'm feeling
no one, no one, no one
can get in the way of what i feel for you, you, you
can get in the way of what i feel for you
where you can stay forever
you can be sure
that it will only get better
you and me together
through the days and nights
i don't worry 'cause
everything's going to be alright
people keep talking they can say what they like
but all i know is everything's going to be alright
no one, no one, no one
can get in the way of what i'm feeling
no one, no one, no one
can get in the way of what i feel for you, you, you
can get in the way of what i feel for you
when the rain is pouring down
and my heart is hurting
you will always be around
this i know for certain
you and me together
through the days and nights
i don't worry 'cause
everything's going to be alright
people keep talking they can say what they like
but all i know is everything's going to be alright
no one, no one, no one
can get in the way of what i'm feeling
no one, no one, no one
can get in the way of what i feel for you, you, you
can get in the way of what i feel
i know some people search the world
to find something like what we have
i know people will try try to divide something so real
so till the end of time i'm telling you there ain't no one
no one, no one, no one
can get in the way of what i'm feeling
no one, no one, no one
can get in the way of what i feel for you, you, you
can get in the way of what i feel for you
01 August 2008
second to worst blog ever
somehow, rosie o'donnell slipped my mind when i was writing my july 28 post.
also: STAPES!!! stop BUYING things for alvin!!!
also: STAPES!!! stop BUYING things for alvin!!!
30 July 2008
coffee talk (that's for you, yvette!)
this morning, i spent ⅓ of 1% of my entire month's paycheck on an iced mocha at starbucks that really wasn't that good anyway. if i did this every day, that would mean that i would be spending 10% of my salary on coffee.
the moral of this story: if i am already thinking about things like this, then i can tell that it's not going to be a very good day.
the moral of this story: if i am already thinking about things like this, then i can tell that it's not going to be a very good day.
29 July 2008
cnn? i get all my news from facebook status updates!
Ashley Lai now why can my phone go on the internet but still not text? oh well...yay earthquakes!
4 minutes ago
Jennifer Danielle Allen Earthquake!
Jennifer Danielle Allen Earthquake!
8 minutes ago
Ashley Burton is still freaken out from the earthquake....
Ashley Burton is still freaken out from the earthquake....
17 minutes ago
David Bell thought the earthquake was laaaaaaaaaaaaaame.
David Bell thought the earthquake was laaaaaaaaaaaaaame.
19 minutes ago
Sarah Warburg just felt an earthquake for the first time! But is kinda butt hurt that her cell phone doesn't work.
Sarah Warburg just felt an earthquake for the first time! But is kinda butt hurt that her cell phone doesn't work.
29 minutes ago
Sara Ann Schilling is loving how everyone from cali is commenting earthquake.
Sara Ann Schilling is loving how everyone from cali is commenting earthquake.
30 minutes ago
Vlad Serbulea rocked out to the earthquake with IRON MAIDEN!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Vlad Serbulea rocked out to the earthquake with IRON MAIDEN!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
30 minutes ago
Shayna Marks reports the 5.8 earthquake.
Shayna Marks reports the 5.8 earthquake.
32 minutes ago
Lauren Glicksteen didn't feel the earthquake.
Lauren Glicksteen didn't feel the earthquake.
33 minutes ago
Amanda Packard HATES earthquakes. no matter how small.
Amanda Packard HATES earthquakes. no matter how small.
worst blog ever
joe is mad at me for not posting enough on here. but it's not my fault! i'm busy! and besides, i'm not very good at blogging. i feel like a sap when i talk too much about my feelings and i feel shallow when i solely recount my life's events. oh, and then there's blogging about events in the news. did you know lindsay lohan is now dating a FEMALE?!!?? i liked her more in parent trap.
a'ight, a quick run down of my life:
1. i went to fredericksburg this weekend to visit my relatives. not as terrible as richmond, but much more rural. i'm glad i live in a city. at any rate, i'm glad i went. it was nice to see the fam again. i miss seeing people who have known me for over a year. pics on facebook to come.
2. joe (who apparently rules my internet life) made me get a live journal account. i don't plan on blogging on it, but if you wanna be my friend my user name is seeyouinbiology.
3. so you know how my bathtub's been clogged for like forever and a day? well on thurs. i left my landlord a voice mail about it, never heard back then i come back from fredericksburg and VOILÀ!!! it's fixed. kieran said they randomly sauntered in and snaked it. good grief, what a miracle.
4. i wanted to go visit joanna in new jersey in august but sadly she is busy so that will not happen. :( philadelphia was supposed to happen this upcoming weekend too but that's not going to happen either. ugh.
5. i still need another class for the fall semester. unfortunately, freshmen registration has already taken place, so there's basically no classes that still have open seats left in them. i'm pissed. freshmen registration shouldn't happen until the end of the summer. what the heck do they know about picking classes? lord knows my first semester at gwu was a wash because i had no idea what the hell i was doing.
i think that's a fairly decent list for now.
a'ight, a quick run down of my life:
1. i went to fredericksburg this weekend to visit my relatives. not as terrible as richmond, but much more rural. i'm glad i live in a city. at any rate, i'm glad i went. it was nice to see the fam again. i miss seeing people who have known me for over a year. pics on facebook to come.
2. joe (who apparently rules my internet life) made me get a live journal account. i don't plan on blogging on it, but if you wanna be my friend my user name is seeyouinbiology.
3. so you know how my bathtub's been clogged for like forever and a day? well on thurs. i left my landlord a voice mail about it, never heard back then i come back from fredericksburg and VOILÀ!!! it's fixed. kieran said they randomly sauntered in and snaked it. good grief, what a miracle.
4. i wanted to go visit joanna in new jersey in august but sadly she is busy so that will not happen. :( philadelphia was supposed to happen this upcoming weekend too but that's not going to happen either. ugh.
5. i still need another class for the fall semester. unfortunately, freshmen registration has already taken place, so there's basically no classes that still have open seats left in them. i'm pissed. freshmen registration shouldn't happen until the end of the summer. what the heck do they know about picking classes? lord knows my first semester at gwu was a wash because i had no idea what the hell i was doing.
i think that's a fairly decent list for now.
23 July 2008
in regards to the guy in my life
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
i guess you don't really like me back after all.
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
i guess you don't really like me back after all.
20 July 2008
my eyes can't believe what they have seen.
what is the proper protocol for when you see the ex-boyfriend of the boy you've been seeing on and off since december passing by you on the sidewalk of r street nw?
(melissa steiner's answer: "glare.")
(patricia chaupis's answer: "stare.")
(david bell's answer: "...absolutely nothing?")
all i wanted to do was to go out to black cat and forget about the boy and just have some fun dancing with christina, joe, william, and the inexplicably gay-friendly kieran wilde. apparently, fate had other plans for me this past friday night. i guess that in the gay community, it really is a small world after all.
not that i didn't have fun at black cat anyway. it was queer night, and even though i don't usually like gay clubs/bars/dance parties, i nevertheless enjoyed myself immensely. even though kieran got hit on and i didn't. he even danced with a really hot boy!! ugh.
at least christina had a good beginning to her birthday. happy birthday, honey!!
last night wasn't much better. i went to a party in crystal city, hung out with a really hot guy, and yet my mind is still preoccupied with the boy. i just don't know what to do. maybe i should just hide under my bedsheets until i forget about him. this weekend may still have been fun, but until i can do something about this crush, i will continue feeling miserable. hopefully, visiting my relatives in fredericksburg next weekend will alleviate some of my emotions.
i am such a mess. :( and i need to study for this bio. anthro. test which is tomorrow night. damn.
(melissa steiner's answer: "glare.")
(patricia chaupis's answer: "stare.")
(david bell's answer: "...absolutely nothing?")
all i wanted to do was to go out to black cat and forget about the boy and just have some fun dancing with christina, joe, william, and the inexplicably gay-friendly kieran wilde. apparently, fate had other plans for me this past friday night. i guess that in the gay community, it really is a small world after all.
not that i didn't have fun at black cat anyway. it was queer night, and even though i don't usually like gay clubs/bars/dance parties, i nevertheless enjoyed myself immensely. even though kieran got hit on and i didn't. he even danced with a really hot boy!! ugh.
at least christina had a good beginning to her birthday. happy birthday, honey!!
last night wasn't much better. i went to a party in crystal city, hung out with a really hot guy, and yet my mind is still preoccupied with the boy. i just don't know what to do. maybe i should just hide under my bedsheets until i forget about him. this weekend may still have been fun, but until i can do something about this crush, i will continue feeling miserable. hopefully, visiting my relatives in fredericksburg next weekend will alleviate some of my emotions.
i am such a mess. :( and i need to study for this bio. anthro. test which is tomorrow night. damn.
13 July 2008
just got in from richmond
why do my posts keep on disappearing and then reappearing? ugh.
anyway, my life is crazy. andy and i took a spontaneous road trip today to richmond to visit his adorable friend juancito. it was good to get out of the city and clear my mind, even though richmond may just well be the shittiest town in america. no, i take that back: petersburg (southside suburb of richmond) is, by far, the shittiest town in america. case in point: we went to a chicken joint and some white lady asked the cashier "is this a safe area?" that elicited smirks from all the employees. seriously... boarded up buildings up and down the streets? random people asking us for money then not leaving us alone? it made me long for prince george's county.
but we made do. we hung out at a mall and then caught a movie. like i said, it was nice to be away, even if it was just for one day.
i forgot to mention my heinous last weekend of being hospitalized. basically for a couple of days leading up to it all, my throat had been closing up. i could hardly breathe, let alone swallow. all i could consume was green tea and soup and for a skinny ass white kid like me that's bad news bears. so i was already feeling weak and feverish and while i was at target on the 5th i basically almost fainted... and that's when i decided to go to gwu medical center. they found an absest on my tonsil and decided instead of removing it (which apparently isn't commonplace anymore) they DRAINED it instead. that's right folks. they numbed my tonsil, then cut a hole in it and let my bodily fluids flow out from my mouth. pretty much the most disgusting thing in my life. and it didn't help that my surgeon was cute.
i wound up spending that night in the hospital hooked up to an iv, but i left the next day and took that monday off from work. i'm feeling fine now, but there's still a hole in my tonsil. it's supposed to close up on its own, but it hasn't yet. it feels weird. i have a follow-up appointment for all of this on wednesday, which involves me not being at work for even MORE time. ugh. i feel so guilty, even though my internship can frustrate the hell out of me. whatever. i'm getting the feeling they're gonna reneg on their offer to keep me through the fall semester so i'm not emotionally investing myself into lcv.
other than that... my class started this past week. it's okay, i guess. easy a (i hope). i need to spend tomorrow studying... ugh.
i think i'm going to go to bed now. being in the confederacy all day is exhausting!
anyway, my life is crazy. andy and i took a spontaneous road trip today to richmond to visit his adorable friend juancito. it was good to get out of the city and clear my mind, even though richmond may just well be the shittiest town in america. no, i take that back: petersburg (southside suburb of richmond) is, by far, the shittiest town in america. case in point: we went to a chicken joint and some white lady asked the cashier "is this a safe area?" that elicited smirks from all the employees. seriously... boarded up buildings up and down the streets? random people asking us for money then not leaving us alone? it made me long for prince george's county.
but we made do. we hung out at a mall and then caught a movie. like i said, it was nice to be away, even if it was just for one day.
i forgot to mention my heinous last weekend of being hospitalized. basically for a couple of days leading up to it all, my throat had been closing up. i could hardly breathe, let alone swallow. all i could consume was green tea and soup and for a skinny ass white kid like me that's bad news bears. so i was already feeling weak and feverish and while i was at target on the 5th i basically almost fainted... and that's when i decided to go to gwu medical center. they found an absest on my tonsil and decided instead of removing it (which apparently isn't commonplace anymore) they DRAINED it instead. that's right folks. they numbed my tonsil, then cut a hole in it and let my bodily fluids flow out from my mouth. pretty much the most disgusting thing in my life. and it didn't help that my surgeon was cute.
i wound up spending that night in the hospital hooked up to an iv, but i left the next day and took that monday off from work. i'm feeling fine now, but there's still a hole in my tonsil. it's supposed to close up on its own, but it hasn't yet. it feels weird. i have a follow-up appointment for all of this on wednesday, which involves me not being at work for even MORE time. ugh. i feel so guilty, even though my internship can frustrate the hell out of me. whatever. i'm getting the feeling they're gonna reneg on their offer to keep me through the fall semester so i'm not emotionally investing myself into lcv.
other than that... my class started this past week. it's okay, i guess. easy a (i hope). i need to spend tomorrow studying... ugh.
i think i'm going to go to bed now. being in the confederacy all day is exhausting!
09 July 2008
oops
my microwaveable noodles from cvs just turned out to be not-so-microwaveable and now the entire office smells like burning. my bad.
02 July 2008
long in the making: the mildly thrilling conclusion
the start of the new era in my life was no where near as effectual as i thought it would be. but it didn't go badly either.
i think i'm going to be all right.
i think i'm going to be all right.
29 June 2008
26 June 2008
it's a slow day
i was out of the office tuesday afternoon as well as all of yesterday on account of me being sick, but even though i don't feel in tip-top shape i dragged myself into work today. when i got here, bethany (my supervisor) told me it would a slow day, and lo and behold she was right. of course, there's always filing to do. but that involves getting up and trudging the necessary 5 paces to the filing cabinets, and frankly i don't feel well enough to stand up. oh, and i fielded a phone call from a cranky old woman in california who was sick of us flooding her mailbox. and since m.k. is at the outer banks until tues., i'm gonna have to create the high donor report for today, even though i haven't ever done one by myself, so i guess that will give me yet another opportunity to fuck things up. i also need to go pick up my macbook from gw. sure, it's fixed, but they had to replace the hard drive, and nothing from my old hard drive could be recovered which means i've got NOTHING. none of the old essays or papers i've written. none of my old music (though i suppose there's a way to transfer it from my ipod onto my comp.). NO-fuckin'-THING. i thought i'd be fine not backing things up (mainly because i didn't know how, lol) because i don't have anything THAT valuable on my comp., but now i'm actually pretty pissed that everything's gone. my papers, my movies, the short story i was working on. all gone.
i guess it doesn't really matter, anyway. like i said, i didn't have anything of that much value on my comp. i don't know. i guess i'm just ready for school to start back up again. i miss seeing my friends on an everyday basis. i miss having something to do during the evenings, even if it is agonizingly frustrating homework. i miss dating someone who actually cares about me. i miss not having to worry about not having weekend plans. i miss §.
i hope i'll remember all of this when i'm back in school in the fall.
i guess it doesn't really matter, anyway. like i said, i didn't have anything of that much value on my comp. i don't know. i guess i'm just ready for school to start back up again. i miss seeing my friends on an everyday basis. i miss having something to do during the evenings, even if it is agonizingly frustrating homework. i miss dating someone who actually cares about me. i miss not having to worry about not having weekend plans. i miss §.
i hope i'll remember all of this when i'm back in school in the fall.
22 June 2008
almost a month into my internship? wtf?
i realized today that i haven't really written anything specific about my internship. in summary, i love it, even though i am COMPLETELY incompetent. i know that's not a smart thing to post on the internet where potential future employers could read this, but it's true. all of the other interns are either upperclassmen or grad students, and they all go to big name schools like duke, michigan, columbia, etc. in truth, while i'm completely capable of solving the arduous and complex tasks they dole out to me, it's the simple tasks that i seem to utterly fail at. like mailing things. leave it to me to fuck up folding, stuffing, and sticking a label and a stamp on the envelope. i also got bitched at last week by the head of the finance dept. for leaving some checks out on someone's desk. i should have known better, especially after 2+ years of cash handling experience.
i intern for an organization called the league of conservation voters. for being a non-profit lobbyist group, it actually has quite an impressive record. i work in the development department, so i actually play witness to the tens of thousands (!) of dollars that we accumulate DAILY. it's also so exciting playing a part in politics (albeit a minimal one) what with the upcoming election. i have seen senators kerry and liberman speak, and last week i actually got to MEET senators boxer and feinstein!! that was a really meaningful and special experience that somehow made the weeks of bitch work and upsetness over my personal failures worthwhile. for all the problems that california has, those women have actually done a fantastic job presiding over the golden state.
the people i work with are all actually very chill. there is one other intern in my department, named m.k., she goes to duke (obviously!) but she's been nice to me even though she's 5278536x more capable than me. most of the staff members in my department have been friendly toward me as well. i also am friends w/ some of the interns in the other departments, but i don't really know the staff members.
i actually think i might be the only intern who will be there past the summer. i think it will be mad exciting participating in american politics during the election season, though hopefully my competence will augment in the meanwhile. :)
as for the rest of my life... living in college park car-less is like living in the san fernando valley car-less! well, maybe not THAT bad, and certainly not as bad as living in ventura county car-less, but it really is a pain living 45 (!) minutes away from my office in farragut square. as much as i love the metro, wmata needs to get a grip on things. i think it could take a page out of the book of the nyc subway system, as far as multiple tracks, express lines, and flat fares go.
my apartment is always messy. not as bad as my dorm was, but not up to my mother's standards either. kieran hangs out in the apartment a lot, but i myself avoid the trap of the college park bubble as if it were the plague. erin and yvette are usually at their families' homes in montgomery county (them richers!! jk... well, not really.). i'm also trying to learn how to cook. it's been rather unsuccessful.
i'm seeing my friends now more so than i did at first. i went to lisa's house in bethesda last night for a party and saw a.whit, patty, kaitlin and some other folks. that being said, i miss the camaraderie of thurston and long for the days that i could go into the room next door and see joanna and nords... :(
well, i think that's a pretty comprehensive report. i'm about to go out now. i find that if i sit in this apartment for too long, i get very depressed. and if i get depressed, then i write very emo blog posts. and NONE of us want that. ;)
a special shout-out to the infamous §. baby, i miss you so much. i know this has been a bad week for you, but know that my great gay spirit, like the humidity of south florida that you are so sorely used to, will always surround you.
i intern for an organization called the league of conservation voters. for being a non-profit lobbyist group, it actually has quite an impressive record. i work in the development department, so i actually play witness to the tens of thousands (!) of dollars that we accumulate DAILY. it's also so exciting playing a part in politics (albeit a minimal one) what with the upcoming election. i have seen senators kerry and liberman speak, and last week i actually got to MEET senators boxer and feinstein!! that was a really meaningful and special experience that somehow made the weeks of bitch work and upsetness over my personal failures worthwhile. for all the problems that california has, those women have actually done a fantastic job presiding over the golden state.
the people i work with are all actually very chill. there is one other intern in my department, named m.k., she goes to duke (obviously!) but she's been nice to me even though she's 5278536x more capable than me. most of the staff members in my department have been friendly toward me as well. i also am friends w/ some of the interns in the other departments, but i don't really know the staff members.
i actually think i might be the only intern who will be there past the summer. i think it will be mad exciting participating in american politics during the election season, though hopefully my competence will augment in the meanwhile. :)
as for the rest of my life... living in college park car-less is like living in the san fernando valley car-less! well, maybe not THAT bad, and certainly not as bad as living in ventura county car-less, but it really is a pain living 45 (!) minutes away from my office in farragut square. as much as i love the metro, wmata needs to get a grip on things. i think it could take a page out of the book of the nyc subway system, as far as multiple tracks, express lines, and flat fares go.
my apartment is always messy. not as bad as my dorm was, but not up to my mother's standards either. kieran hangs out in the apartment a lot, but i myself avoid the trap of the college park bubble as if it were the plague. erin and yvette are usually at their families' homes in montgomery county (them richers!! jk... well, not really.). i'm also trying to learn how to cook. it's been rather unsuccessful.
i'm seeing my friends now more so than i did at first. i went to lisa's house in bethesda last night for a party and saw a.whit, patty, kaitlin and some other folks. that being said, i miss the camaraderie of thurston and long for the days that i could go into the room next door and see joanna and nords... :(
well, i think that's a pretty comprehensive report. i'm about to go out now. i find that if i sit in this apartment for too long, i get very depressed. and if i get depressed, then i write very emo blog posts. and NONE of us want that. ;)
a special shout-out to the infamous §. baby, i miss you so much. i know this has been a bad week for you, but know that my great gay spirit, like the humidity of south florida that you are so sorely used to, will always surround you.
20 June 2008
a post written from joe's apartment
so i'm spending the night at jdhenchman's apartment and he says he wants me to write a new blog entry. holy shit, someone actually READS this thing???
i've also been perusing some of my old entries, god am i a moody s.o.b. for the 3 of you who read this, i don't know how you can stand it OR me.
anyway, nothing new to report. the internship is going well, i suppose, even though i'm not very good at it. i decided not to take that class through smc, only because i couldn't figure out how to register for it. sigh. whatever, i'm already like 21 credits ahead so i'm not TERRIBLY worried about having not matriculated. lol.
it's been raining a lot. i like it.
i still find my evenings primarily devoid of any activity, especially now that my macbook has DIED and i can't work on the quasi-story i've been writing (or update my blog..... heh heh). took it to sts today though, they say they can probs fix it. whoopie.
i'll try to write more even though i never have anything to say.
i've also been perusing some of my old entries, god am i a moody s.o.b. for the 3 of you who read this, i don't know how you can stand it OR me.
anyway, nothing new to report. the internship is going well, i suppose, even though i'm not very good at it. i decided not to take that class through smc, only because i couldn't figure out how to register for it. sigh. whatever, i'm already like 21 credits ahead so i'm not TERRIBLY worried about having not matriculated. lol.
it's been raining a lot. i like it.
i still find my evenings primarily devoid of any activity, especially now that my macbook has DIED and i can't work on the quasi-story i've been writing (or update my blog..... heh heh). took it to sts today though, they say they can probs fix it. whoopie.
i'll try to write more even though i never have anything to say.
07 June 2008
revenge of the homicidal weather patterns
despite the sheer awesomeness that was today, i've decided that i'm eating my words now when i said before that i could handle ANY weather. that was before it got so humid and sticky that my jeans have started sticking to my ass.
06 June 2008
what i did after work today
why do i even bother going to the gym? it never has a lasting physical effect on me.
other than that, i've spent the last 4 hours in a room with kieran doing nothing. i need a life. my mom told me i should join a social club. do those even exist anymore???
i'm also thinking about taking a class online thru santa monica college since (a) i'd qualify for in-state tuition and (b) they offer a lot of classes online during the summer.
finally, i'm no longer going to nyc this weekend. poopie.
other than that, i've spent the last 4 hours in a room with kieran doing nothing. i need a life. my mom told me i should join a social club. do those even exist anymore???
i'm also thinking about taking a class online thru santa monica college since (a) i'd qualify for in-state tuition and (b) they offer a lot of classes online during the summer.
finally, i'm no longer going to nyc this weekend. poopie.
01 June 2008
musings on rebecca (spoilers!)
having just finished my book, rebecca by daphne du maurier, has given me plenty to dwell upon, especially that pertaining to the subject of punishment. even after her untimely death, the title character continues to torment her surviving husband maxim, and in turn his new bride, the unnamed title character. rebecca punishes the new couple by driving a stake in their marriage, by creating chaos in their lives, and as the first chapter of the novel suggests, by forcing them into exile. even after her death, she has control over their lives, and late in the novel it is even suggested toward the end of the novel that she manipulated her husband into murdering her.
more than often, however, the punisher feels repercussions to their doling punishment:
betty: "you know we don’t talk to him. that's part of his punishment."
matthew: "how can you just sit here hour after hour and listen to that?"
betty: "well, that's part of mine."
— desperate housewives, episode 2.02
i suppose that's what i'm feeling right now. trapped in my tiny room in my tiny apartment in this tiny state. regretting so many of my actions from the previous week, when all i wanted to do was to get back at you. now i'm alone here and i'm realizing that in this way you got exactly what you wanted all along.
fuck you.
i wish i could go back to the days in which i was an intellectual. a bohemian. a believer in rationality. an enlightened and content individual. not one who is trapped midway between the punishing and the punishment. i think about this when i'm at work. i talk about this when i'm with my friends. it consumes my life.
and i want out.
i'm giving up the last of my remaining vices. i want to be known for my successful career, for my advanced educational level, for my strong network of friends and coworkers. i don't want to be known as someone who resembles a character from a queer soap opera.
and right now, i'm neglecting the rest of my life. i'm no longer healthy. i am weak. and i brought it onto myself.
more than often, however, the punisher feels repercussions to their doling punishment:
betty: "you know we don’t talk to him. that's part of his punishment."
matthew: "how can you just sit here hour after hour and listen to that?"
betty: "well, that's part of mine."
— desperate housewives, episode 2.02
i suppose that's what i'm feeling right now. trapped in my tiny room in my tiny apartment in this tiny state. regretting so many of my actions from the previous week, when all i wanted to do was to get back at you. now i'm alone here and i'm realizing that in this way you got exactly what you wanted all along.
fuck you.
i wish i could go back to the days in which i was an intellectual. a bohemian. a believer in rationality. an enlightened and content individual. not one who is trapped midway between the punishing and the punishment. i think about this when i'm at work. i talk about this when i'm with my friends. it consumes my life.
and i want out.
i'm giving up the last of my remaining vices. i want to be known for my successful career, for my advanced educational level, for my strong network of friends and coworkers. i don't want to be known as someone who resembles a character from a queer soap opera.
and right now, i'm neglecting the rest of my life. i'm no longer healthy. i am weak. and i brought it onto myself.
23 May 2008
utah!!!!!!
i'm leaving thousand oaks tomorrow for san francisco, and from there i'm going directly back to washington. i didn't finish the book i'm reading. i'm scarcely 200 words into the story i'm writing. i'm still my usual shade of pale white. indeed, this trip was an epic failure.
on the other hand, i DID sit around and mess around on the internet a lot. when i get bored, i tend to search for things that i won't need until later in life: a job, an apartment, etc. i found a really awesome looking job w/ the aclu in salt lake city. it would be right up my alley. i found an awesome looking apartment in slc, too. i did some research and it's surprisingly gay-friendly there... wtf? anyway, that doesn't matter because my weekends will be consumed not by gay clubbing, but rather by babysitting amanda packard's 20 kids.
of course, i'm speaking too soon. my internship hasn't even officially started yet... people keep on asking me if i'm nervous, but in truth, i can't WAIT for tuesday!!
on the other hand, i DID sit around and mess around on the internet a lot. when i get bored, i tend to search for things that i won't need until later in life: a job, an apartment, etc. i found a really awesome looking job w/ the aclu in salt lake city. it would be right up my alley. i found an awesome looking apartment in slc, too. i did some research and it's surprisingly gay-friendly there... wtf? anyway, that doesn't matter because my weekends will be consumed not by gay clubbing, but rather by babysitting amanda packard's 20 kids.
of course, i'm speaking too soon. my internship hasn't even officially started yet... people keep on asking me if i'm nervous, but in truth, i can't WAIT for tuesday!!
my town is the only town in america dumb enough to have a horse crossing (janss road at paige lane ftw!)
15 May 2008
dear high school friends... part ii
dear friends of mine from high school,
okay, i get that washington dc was a little far for you to come visit me so that we could hang out. but now i am home in thousand oaks and i still can't get into contact with any of you for some hanging out time. i respect that you all are busy, but i'm only here until may 23, so all i can say is this: wtf?
kthxbye.
love,
michael
p.s. thank fucking god i'm only here for 2 weeks.
okay, i get that washington dc was a little far for you to come visit me so that we could hang out. but now i am home in thousand oaks and i still can't get into contact with any of you for some hanging out time. i respect that you all are busy, but i'm only here until may 23, so all i can say is this: wtf?
kthxbye.
love,
michael
p.s. thank fucking god i'm only here for 2 weeks.
14 May 2008
my 10 to 1 for freshman year
10 things you hated about this year
10 | taking psychology instead of geography
09 | taking math instead of logic
08 | taking linguistics instead of spanish
07 | 8am classes (fall semester only)
06 | class until 5pm on fridays (spring semester only)
05 | being stuck in mitchell for the first month
04 | kelly transferring to kutztown
03 | the "fruit loop" (a.k.a. the queer-as-folk bitches of gw's class of 2011)
02 | j street
01 | marshak's departure :(
9 things you liked about this year
09 | I GET TO LIVE ON MY OWN!!!
08 | washington, dc: the smithsonian, the mall, the metro...
07 | living in thurston, despite its similarities to a 3rd world country
06 | parties at phi sigma kappa
05 | my random trips to u. maryland and going to their parties
04 | SNOW
03 | meeting locals and other area college students
02 | meeting people from places i'd never dream of meeting people from
01 | meeting my new best friends :)
8 things you can't stop laughing about
08 | yvette and her bou-isms
07 | joanna and amanda's sexual urges
06 | peter's scream, when he get offended
05 | "mad", "obvi", "hella", and of course "hella mad obvi"
04 | my band's name in rock band: c's get degrees!
03 | my anti-gw breakfast special at j street: bacon with a side of bacon
02 | "only 25 more blocks to go!"
01 | i went to adam's hometown, stayed at adam's friend's house, hung out with adam's friends and adam's brother, saw adam's old high school, saw the coffeehouse where adam used to work... all without adam
7 memories that you'll cherish forever
07 | protest against the war in iraq
06 | walk for aids awareness
05 | walking for the juvenile diabetes research foundation
04 | the moment i realized that i am far more independent and capable than many of my classmates
03 | philadelphia
02 | raleigh
01 | how i met patricia chaupis... go on, ask her how we met.
6 regrets you have for the past year
06 | fighting with sarah marshak
05 | not going home fall semester at all
04 | spending so much money eating out at restaurants
03 | letting allied in pride become the bane of my social existence
02 | not moving to thurston sooner
01 | almost transferring (thankfully, i didn't)
5 things you learned this year
05 | NOTHING (in the classroom setting, that is)
04 | how to make awesome coffee/espresso drinks
03 | get involved in campus activities!
02 | gw's not so bad; you've just got to find your niche.
01 | some boys are simply not to be trusted!
4 habits you picked up this year
04 | jumping onto the top bunk of bunkbeds without a ladder
03 | ignoring the sounds of a loud residence hall when i want to go to sleep
02 | sleeping on the floor: pammy's, monica's, yvette's, mine...
01 | walking around in public in my pajamas
(hmm, all of these have to do with bedtime...)
3 of your best friends
03 | pammy (a.k.a. patricia chaupis)
02 | joanna
01 | peter
2 things you'll avoid next year
02 | j street
01 | spending so much money on restaurants (which will be easier now that i'll have a kitchen)
1 thing that makes this year so memorable
01 | "college! no parents!"
10 | taking psychology instead of geography
09 | taking math instead of logic
08 | taking linguistics instead of spanish
07 | 8am classes (fall semester only)
06 | class until 5pm on fridays (spring semester only)
05 | being stuck in mitchell for the first month
04 | kelly transferring to kutztown
03 | the "fruit loop" (a.k.a. the queer-as-folk bitches of gw's class of 2011)
02 | j street
01 | marshak's departure :(
9 things you liked about this year
09 | I GET TO LIVE ON MY OWN!!!
08 | washington, dc: the smithsonian, the mall, the metro...
07 | living in thurston, despite its similarities to a 3rd world country
06 | parties at phi sigma kappa
05 | my random trips to u. maryland and going to their parties
04 | SNOW
03 | meeting locals and other area college students
02 | meeting people from places i'd never dream of meeting people from
01 | meeting my new best friends :)
8 things you can't stop laughing about
08 | yvette and her bou-isms
07 | joanna and amanda's sexual urges
06 | peter's scream, when he get offended
05 | "mad", "obvi", "hella", and of course "hella mad obvi"
04 | my band's name in rock band: c's get degrees!
03 | my anti-gw breakfast special at j street: bacon with a side of bacon
02 | "only 25 more blocks to go!"
01 | i went to adam's hometown, stayed at adam's friend's house, hung out with adam's friends and adam's brother, saw adam's old high school, saw the coffeehouse where adam used to work... all without adam
7 memories that you'll cherish forever
07 | protest against the war in iraq
06 | walk for aids awareness
05 | walking for the juvenile diabetes research foundation
04 | the moment i realized that i am far more independent and capable than many of my classmates
03 | philadelphia
02 | raleigh
01 | how i met patricia chaupis... go on, ask her how we met.
6 regrets you have for the past year
06 | fighting with sarah marshak
05 | not going home fall semester at all
04 | spending so much money eating out at restaurants
03 | letting allied in pride become the bane of my social existence
02 | not moving to thurston sooner
01 | almost transferring (thankfully, i didn't)
5 things you learned this year
05 | NOTHING (in the classroom setting, that is)
04 | how to make awesome coffee/espresso drinks
03 | get involved in campus activities!
02 | gw's not so bad; you've just got to find your niche.
01 | some boys are simply not to be trusted!
4 habits you picked up this year
04 | jumping onto the top bunk of bunkbeds without a ladder
03 | ignoring the sounds of a loud residence hall when i want to go to sleep
02 | sleeping on the floor: pammy's, monica's, yvette's, mine...
01 | walking around in public in my pajamas
(hmm, all of these have to do with bedtime...)
3 of your best friends
03 | pammy (a.k.a. patricia chaupis)
02 | joanna
01 | peter
2 things you'll avoid next year
02 | j street
01 | spending so much money on restaurants (which will be easier now that i'll have a kitchen)
1 thing that makes this year so memorable
01 | "college! no parents!"
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