Let's Fold Scarves

musings on the nanny state

2010-04-01T01:06:00.001+02:00

when a government takes on the role as a “nanny state” – that is, when the state tries to coordinate, with too much of a heavy hand, the matters of its citizens – then that government fails to recognize the value of human individuality and the indissoluble ability of individuals to work out matters on their own, sans state intervention. indeed, individuals throughout history have illustrated the incorrigible spirit that exists within everyone, and thus allows individuals to solve their own conflicts and discover their own resolutions.

the notion of voluntary association and exchange is certainly not a farfetched one, and thus should not be treated as such. delving into contemporary policy issues, this concept could prove as an invaluable tool in determining how jurisdictions worldwide function; in the example of the debate over same-sex marriage, the prominent issue in that case is that of rights. why must the government automatically presume that a couple – gay or straight – is incompetent in regard to the issue of drafting its own contract? why can’t these two individuals decide the tenets of their union on their own – and leave the notion of marriage to their house of worship (or lack of which, as the case may be)?

another issue is that of education. currently, the government has a virtual monopoly on how the nation’s children receive their education. how is it feasible to believe that the government is better equipped to assess how children are educated than the children’s parents? schools nationwide are underfunded, inadequate, and unable to cater aptly to students’ needs. optimizing school choice is the most ideal option for how education ought to be facilitated; in this way, the government can minimize its role as a nanny state while certifying the individual right to choose one’s own fate.

by preserving the concept of the nanny state, the government fails to recognize individuals’ abilities in discovering their own resolutions to conflicts and other issues. when applied to contemporary policy issues, such as marriage rights and education, the ideal solution lies in trusting individuals to make their own decisions.

africa: 4 months later

2010-03-11T01:17:00.000+02:00

next week marks 4 months since i've moved back from africa, and in that time, i've told every incredulous aids joke i could think of, i've bored each and every one of my friends with my stories about ocean view, and i've stalked all of my african friends on facebook. and yet, i still hold this strong desire to drop everything and fly back to cape town today.

i know that sounds ridiculous, especially after i declared the prudence behind my decision not to spend an extra semester at uct. and, it is. but, that doesn't mean i don't wake up every morning with an inkling of disappointment.

it's not that i don't love my life right now, but – was i too rash in saying i'd accomplished all there was to accomplish by the time i left on november 20? i mean, my internship and volunteer positions were just beginning to take off, my friendships were just beginning to blossom, and i'd finally just begun to understand how life is lived, south africa style. (for instance, that gumtree is south africa's answer to craigslist, that mtn is a better mobile carrier than vodacom, and that even though the taxis are great, you're better off owning a car, too.)

oh well. perhaps it's for the best, after all, that i'm back in america: i ran out of money, and there's no way i could get a job in south africa.

i'm not quite sure what i'm trying to say here, other than that my experience in south africa influenced me more strongly than i'd expected. even while i was there, i didn't realize how much i loved it. then again, perhaps hindsight is 20/20 – i realized how wonderful of a place the united states is to live as a result of my experiences in africa, too.

conclusion: i can't wait to go back. it won't be soon, but it will happen someday. indeed, i think i should.

2010!

2010-03-04T11:24:00.002+02:00

o hai thar. yeah, apparently i really don't update this anymore. i really ought to, though. i've got a lot to say.

school has been good this semester, if not really weird. i'm taking environmental policy, atomic energy policy, gentrification, and methods of policy analysis. i'm also taking, on a pass/fail basis, media in a free society, and i'm receiving pass/fail credit for my internship in the development department at the tax foundation, too. i'm really enjoying my internship so far – i've done a lot and i'm constantly learning. i've even written a blog post for them, too, which you can read here.

classes are good, although much more difficult than what i got used to at the university of cape town. the academic calendar has also been thrown off due to the monstrosity known as the snowpocalypse. as a result of it, i now have to attend class on a saturday (may 1st). lame.

i've also been busy with my positions on the e-boards of liberty society and ΣAΛ, as well as working as a peer adviser at the study abroad office and as a wage slave at dsw.

right now, i'm pretty happy with my life, although i find myself missing south africa. a lot. it's a beautiful country with a rich culture, and i left some phenomenal friends behind there. money is pretty tight for me right now, though (i'm still paying off bills from last semester), so it looks like i won't be back in that neck of the woods any time soon.

spring break begins on the 12th for me. i'll be here, working.

i'll try to be better about updating this thing. in the mean time, i'll think of something more interesting to say.

i live in virginia now

2009-12-22T16:53:00.000+02:00

it’s been a while since i last wrote, so let me see if i can’t catch you up before i forget it all.

my last week in cape town was definitely a strange one. it’s hard to put into words the emotions involved in saying goodbye to somebody who you don’t know if you’ll ever see again – and, even if you do, you know that it will be a very, very long time from now. it’s not like at the end of last semester, when we were all preparing to leave for our respective semester abroad programs and we had to say goodbye to each other then – we knew we’d all be back together again come january. even my best friend brittney, who i never see enough of save for the infrequent trips i made to north carolina to see her – i know that it’ll never be too terribly long before i see her again.

but in regard to individuals like kwadwo, adrian, nwabisa, adam, sakhile, neema, tendai, and so many more – it’s hard for me to say when, if ever, i’ll see them again. i was able to have a goodbye lunch and/or drink with most of them, but each of those occasions were nevertheless solemn – i mean, these individuals opened their lives and their hearts to me, and i don’t know how i’ll ever be able to repay the favor.

as i said goodbye to each of them, i told them, “this isn’t goodbye forever,” but i just have to wonder – is it? even if i do make it back to south africa, it won’t quite be the same. i won’t be living there – i’ll just be another one of those tourists whose antics we used to mock, knowing we were so much more engrained into south african society than they’d ever be.

to be fair, i could have feasibly opted to spend this upcoming semester at the university of cape town, and honestly, i’d considered it, but in the end, i decided against it. not only was i running out of money (there’s no way i could get a south african work permit), but i have requirements for my baccalaureate that i need to fulfill back at gwu. besides, at any rate, i went to south africa to learn about the country, its politics, its culture, its people, et cetera. i succeeded in that. mission accomplished. not to say that there isn’t always something to learn, especially living in a city like cape town, but in the end, i determined that it was best simply to return to the united states.

so, now i’m back. but before that, brigid and i opted to spend our last day as capetonians together. in truth, brigid proved to be my rock throughout my semester abroad. i knew it would be hard not to have her as a constant character in my life anymore, and lo and behold that’s proven true. at any rate, after checking out from our not-so-lovely abode at liesbeeck gardens (my least favorite part about living in south africa!), we enjoyed a lunch together at one of our favorite restaurants downtown. i definitely miss their milkshakes. ;)

then, we took the cable car up table mountain. i think that that was a great activity for us to do on our last day in cape town. the view, in a nutshell, was outstanding. it was phenomenal, being able to identify the various parts of the cape peninsula, where we’d gone, what we’d done there, et cetera. we ran into an older couple there, incidentally from arlington (at the corner of carlin springs and leesburg pike – so close to where i live now!), and i definitely took pride in pointing out which was the indian ocean and which was the atlantic, where we’d gone to school, et cetera. indeed, it was such a change from last july, when we went to a club on the top of the absa building (the tallest building in cape town) and gazed at the unfamiliar (yet nevertheless beautiful) city. the city still came across as beautiful to me, but i had come to understand its intricacies.

after that, we met up with sara in company’s gardens, and from there we went to the airport for our respective evening flights home (via heathrow).

i spent the first week of mine back in the united states in california. it was nice to be able to spend my initial period of “reverse culture shock” in a relatively placid environment such as thousand oaks. plus, of course, it was nice to be with friends and family. then, after that (on november 28), i flew back to dc. i’m happy to report that i’ve done pretty much everything that i’d set out to do in my pre-spring semester period back in dc. after what felt like an undeservedly arduous housing search, i found a great apartment in the crystal city neighborhood of arlington. i love my apartment. i live with kasandra, a classmate of mine at gw. it’s a 1 bedroom + den + 1 bathroom unit (in an extremely large apartment building), and i use the den as my bedroom. it’s actually a very nice room, even though it’s relatively small (8 by 9 ½ feet). i have a great big window, which i enjoy. :) the apartment itself is very nice, and kasandra already had a lot of furniture for it – the only problem (if you can call it one) is that the walls are a little barren, so i need to get posters and other wall coverings for them. :)

i’m also back at my old job at dsw, which is a 10-15 minute walk from my apartment (no need to metro!). it’s been great to be back at dsw, not just because of its proximity to my house or the fact that i’m earning a lot of money because of all the hours i’m picking up (about 30 a week), but the fact that it’s so familiar to me: reverse culture shock hit me like a ton of bricks – specifically, how there’s so much that has changed – and it’s nice to have a stable entity in my life to come back to. there’s a new manager, sure, and some new employees as well, but retail is constant.

i’m also getting back into doing extracurricular activities at gw. i went to a couple of meetings for a newly formed organization gw liberty society, which i enjoyed. i’ve also been getting increasingly involved in my honors fraternity, sigma alpha lambda, and to that end i helped out a lot with the holiday fundraiser and clothing drive that we did. i’ve also gone to a few socials by dc’s various think tanks, non-profits, etc., and it’s been great to have met like-minded individuals in that capacity. finally, i’ve gone on a few internship interviews; still waiting to see what comes of those.

despite the pride i take in all i’ve accomplished in the short time i’ve had since getting back to the united states, i nevertheless miss south africa immensely. despite the myriad hardships that studying abroad in such an environment befell me, there’s something about the easygoing nature of south africans that i find myself missing on a daily basis. as i was checking in for my flight at cape town international airport, i was able to joke with and to laugh with the security officials. indeed, that would never exist in the united states. washington is an extremely high-strung town, and i have to admit that i myself am also extremely high-strung, but it was nice to have – just for a while, at least – been around a less tense populace. as washingtonians (not to mention americans in general), we are so lucky to have what we have. meanwhile, in cape town, there is so much poverty and sadness – so much to lament – and nonetheless, the people are, on average, so much more uplifting than anyone i’ve ever encountered in dc.

today, i flew to california for christmas. i’ll be back on the east coast on the 29th to go back to work, to (hopefully) start an internship, and to enjoy my life there even more.

being back in dc is an extraordinary feeling

2009-12-07T16:18:00.000+02:00

it's hard to remember how it felt before
now i found the love of my life...
passes things get more comfortable,
everything is going right

and after all the obstacles,
it's good to see you now with someone else...
and it's such a miracle that you and me are still good friends
after all that we've been through...
i know we're cool

i know we're cool...

we used to think it was impossible,
now you call me by my new last name...
memories seem like so long ago
time always kills the pain

remember harbor boulevard,
the dreaming days where the mess was made...
look how all the kids have grown,
we have changed but we're still the same
after all that we've been through,
i know we're cool

and i'll be happy for you,
if you can be happy for me
circles and triangles, and now we're hangin' out with your new girlfriend,
so far from where we've been...
i know we're cool

i know we're cool...
i know we're cool...
i know we're cool...

musings from heathrow

2009-11-21T15:08:00.000+02:00

i sit here in heathrow airport, dumbfounded.

did that all really just happen? did i really just spend the past 18 weeks, 2 days, 12 hours, and 30 minutes living in south africa?

i'm not quite sure what i feel right now. i guess it hasn't hit me in its entirety quite yet. i mean, i cried as we took off from cape town airport, and i've cried thinking about all the amazing souls to whom i had to say goodbye, but i can't help but feeling like i haven't left cape town for good quite yet. it hasn't hit me that i'll no longer be crammed into a 15-seater minibus taxi with 30 other passengers. it hasn't hit me that i'll no longer be served entrées consisting of no fewer than 2 varieties of meat. it hasn't hit me that i'll no longer look to the west and see table mountain towering over the city.

it's been quite an adventure, and as such, it's had no shortage of its ups and downs. i'll try and remember to post a 10 to 1 list for this past semester, but the point is that being in south africa proved itself to be quite an invaluable learning experience for me. and it's hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that this stage of my life has, already and so suddenly, come to a close.

ciee's goal for this semester is to transform us into "global citizens", and while i'm still not 100% sure of what that means, i think i'm well on my way to becoming one. i've had to become accustomed to a multitude of seemingly bizaare (and, dare i say, foreign) customs held by south africans, from overlooking personal space, to not saying "bless you" after a sneeze, to clipping one's nails in public (i still think this one is gross, though). i've learned how to successfully dial an international call, and that we're the only ones who pronounce the letter Z as "zee". even the metric system has begun to make sense to me.

but, i think that another integral part of becoming a global citizen involves learning how to take on unique challenges, ones seldom found in the first world. it's no secret that south africa is lacking in sufficient infrastructure (albeit better than those within most african countries), and as such, i've found myself repeatedly challenged by occurrences within everyday life. once i figured out to overcome those, however, i became able to appreciate south africa, its landscape, its culture, and its people for the wonderful things they truly are. :)

that all being said, it was certainly sad for me to leave south africa. even though i'm excited to see my friends and family, i found it tough for me to say goodbye to cape town, making it a very bittersweet circumstance for me. unlike when i visit home after a semester at gw, i can't pop over to south africa whenever i'd like to say hi to my new friends or to be reminded to all the nuances of south african life that i've grown to love. indeed, it'll be a long time before i can return to the mother city.

more on all of this later. my flight to los angeles is about to board.

bloemfontein

2009-11-11T22:32:00.001+02:00

i’ve been really bad about updating this blog, but i’m gonna go ahead and blame africa for this one because i haven’t really had time to sit down and hash out an entry detailing on what i’ve been up to. either that, or i’ve been too lazy. or the internet here’s too damn slow. either way, let me see if i can’t rehash the events of my trip to bloemfontein (i’ll cover more recent stuff in a later entry).

given how crazy everything is here, it shouldn’t have been a surprise that the trip that april, brigid, and i took to bloemfontein on october 8 (yikes, it’s been a while) turned out to be more hectic than what i’d bargained for. the three of us took an overnight bus from cape town to bloemfontein, and along the way we learned that the bus line on which we’d booked our return tickets was horribly dangerous and not recommended whatsoever, so upon arriving in bloemfontein we had to purchase new tickets through a more reliable company (which turned out not to be terribly expensive, but still, it’s hard to see money fly away like that). i’m a little surprised that nobody in cape town had said anything about it, even after we’d submitted our itinerary to the study abroad office, but anyway. we got to bloemfontein and the owner of the b & b we stayed at picked us up from the bus terminal. he drove us to the establishment (located in the upper-middle class neighbourhood of dan pienaar) and it was absolutely gorgeous! the owners (a husband and wife) couldn’t have been a nicer couple of people, and the property itself was beautiful. they couldn’t have been more accommodating and even said they’d let us take an extra single room so we wouldn’t all be “crammed” into the same room together (which we graciously declined, partly because we wanted to stay together, but mostly because our room was already plenty spacious). the husband was a white man from zimbabwe (which, interestingly enough, he continually called “rhodesia”) and the wife a white woman from swaziland.

after checking in, we set off for the main part of town by foot (2 kilometres away, downhill). it was pretty much immediately that we realised we weren’t in cape town anymore. first and foremost, there are no minibus taxis whatsoever. we found it odd not to have anybody yelling “wynberg!” or “kaapstad!” at us, trying to get us to board their vehicle; in fact, the drivers passing us by seemed bewildered that there were pedestrians within their town at all. to that effect, secondly, bloemfontein isn’t as much of a walking town as cape town is. not that i consider cape town terribly pedestrian-friendly, especially after dusk, but bloemfontein was definitely lacking in sidewalks. third, afrikaans is definitely, by far the principal language spoken in bloemfontein. even though south african law dictates that all public signage must be written in at least afrikaans and english, that law doesn’t extend to signage by private companies, and to this end, while most private signage in cape town is written in english, most of bloemfontein’s was written in afrikaans.

anyway, we got to the central part of town, and the first thing we did was stop by a lord of the rings-themed inn. j.r.r. tolkein was born in bloemfontein, and apparently the town tried to capitalise on the popularity of the movies with tourist attractions, but it’d largely failed in that regard. anyway, the inn wasn’t much to see (it was basically a regular-looking inn with some ivy and a sign that said “hobbit hole” or something dumb like that), so we proceeded over to the big mall in town, known as the waterfront (bloemfontein is entirely landlocked, but the city has an artificial lake beside which the complex sits). it was there that we had some pretty amazing pizza, although in retrospect i think we were really just hungry. then we walked around that area for a bit before going back to the b & b to rest for macufe, the cultural festival that had brought us to bloemfontein (a town otherwise deprived of tourism) in the first place.

so, anyway, we went back to the waterfront a little bit later and went to some café for dinner where we enjoyed amazingly delicious lemonade for 5 rand (although i got mine with vodka, so for me it was technically 14 rand). anyway. then we headed over to macufe, which was in the park right beside the waterfront. hmm, how do i begin to describe macufe? well, out of the tens of thousands of other attendees we saw, i think we saw only about 3 or 4 other white people there. also, the event was sponsored by jack daniel’s, and to that end they had a trailer set up there for “the jack daniel’s experience”. you go in, they give you a little tour where they tell you about the history of jack daniel’s as well as how the concoction is made, and then they give you a novelty plastic cup with a sample shot of it inside. it was gross, but whatever, there were a couple of bars set up throughout the venue so we weren’t terribly despondent. anyway, there were several random music groups performing, none of whom we knew but all of whom had female dressers who were dressed notoriously inappropriately (i could tell that women’s studies major brigid was dying a little inside, hah). somewhere in there, we went to use the portapotties (which were surprisingly clean!) and a random drunk guy decided to talk to me, give me a hug, and have a picture taken of the two of us using april’s disposable camera. it was magical.

and then… t-pain. that’s right… macufe, south africa’s cultural festival, was headlined by none other than the floridian rapper, in the flesh. i have to say, though, that i think we were all relatively disappointed in his performance. he was only on stage for an hour, and for a good chunk of that we was sitting down. i think he must have been sick or something. at any rate, he was lipsyncing the entire time, which i found disappointing, but then again, i shouldn’t have been surprised, either. interestingly enough, however, his back-up dancers were the least skankily dressed of any of the groups’ that night. we left the venue just a couple of minutes before t-pain’s stagetime ended, which was fine with each of us because we wanted to avoid the drunken crowds. that didn’t really seem to work out terribly well for us, though, because the cabs we’d theoretically believed to be sitting outside the venue waiting for us were nonexistent. we eventually managed to find one, but that’s not before some drunk guy decided to grab my crotch. it was magical, and by that, i mean it was not magical.

we woke up on saturday, which we’d planned to spend in maseru (mainly so we could say we’d been to lesotho as well as to have that extra stamp in our passports); our study abroad programme director had told us that we could easily find a minibus to transport us to maseru, we had no such luck, so we decided to spend the day attempting to partake in tourist activities throughout bloemfontein. unfortunately, like i said, bloemfontein really doesn’t cater to tourists, so we didn’t have much in that regard (heck, there was hardly anything open as it was), although we did see the capitol building of free state province as well as the supreme court building (which, incidentally, was an unmarked and rather disappointing edifice). we also saw the national library for afrikaans literature, because apparently, the afrikaans language has enough literature to fill an entire building. oh! and we also almost got locked into a mall. we’d been looking for a restroom and so we went into a mall downtown (anchored by shoprite, which says it all) but apparently 3:00 in the afternoon is when malls in downtown bloemfontein close on saturdays we we narrowly escaped what would’ve been an interesting story in its own right. i think we made our way back to the waterfront at some point for more 5 rand lemonade as well.

somewhere in there, we found the crafts market associated with macufe, and we bought some cool african-looking accessories made by local sotho and zulu women. i got a bracelet.

we went back to the b & b and hung out on the poolside for a little bit before going back into town. our plan was to eat dinner at the waterfront, then go barhopping on 2nd avenue, which, according to our hostess, was where all the anglophone bars are located. so, we got to the waterfront, and everything was closed. all the restaurants, all the cafés, everything. and it was only 8:00! apparently bloemfontein isn’t too keen on staying open after dusk (although april and brigid think it has to do with the macufe events, which we’d opted not to buy tickets for, going on that evening). we wandered the streets of bloemfontein looking for food. my eye caught sight of a seemingly hopeful mcdonald’s, but luckily, it didn’t come to that: we went to the 2nd avenue café instead and had pizza. april didn’t really care for it, but brigid and i thought it was all right. that was, however, when we learned that 2nd avenue is, actually, where afrikaans speakers go out (i think we were the only english speakers there). all of the afikaaner guys had repulsive mullets and kept on high five-ing each other in a heinously suggestive top gun-esque style. gag.

after we finished dinner (well after 10:00), we ascended to the dance floor, where we saw plenty more afrikaaners drunkenly dancing, but given the bar’s 10 rand special on rum & coke we decided to join the fun for a little bit. after a while, though, we realised that the scene wasn’t really happening, so we went down the street to a bar called stone’s (which is actually a chain of bars throughout south africa). the demography was the same but the scene was a little better, except for the fact that for some random reason it was prohibited to bring drinks onto the dance floor. anyway. the dj kept on playing covers (and not very good ones at that) of american songs from the 1950s, but we had fun nonetheless (i started dancing with this chick who kept on talking to me in afrikaans, and i tried to explain to her that i don’t speak afrikaans, but that was a failure and eventually her boyfriend got jealous and dragged her away anyway). then, april met a boy! now that, that was magical. he was 19 and attends the university of the free state, and apparently he decided to make a point of telling april of his heinously racist views (e.g., that black people shouldn’t be allowed to own land, blah blah blah). he seemed cool with the fact that i was gay though (he wasn’t sure if i was her boyfriend or not, so i told him i’m gay, a fact that apparently isn’t obvious to afrikaaners). we danced for a little while but then that guy’s creeper status became apparent so we bounced.

brigid and i wanted to go home at that point, but april was still insistent on having some more fun, so she dragged us on over to another bar that was having a form party (yuck) and paid our covers. we refused to interact with the form, the jacuzzis it was coming out of, or the individuals within the jacuzzis in any way, shape, or form, so we went inside to the dance floor, which was too crowded as it was. we also couldn’t help but notice that all of the foam-goers were 20-year-old fake blonds and creepy 40-year-old guys, so we didn’t stay long at that place and by then we all decided to go home.

it was raining when we exited that establishment, but it wasn’t a torrential downpour as we’re used to in cape town, so it felt very nice. we called our favourite cab driver to come pick us up (not the quickest of ways to get a ride home, but at least we knew we could rely on him), but guess who should make a special appearance on the corner we were waiting on? creepy afrikaaner guy from stone’s! he offered to give us a lift back to our b & b, which april blatantly declined due to the fact that he was wasted (oh, and creepy). after what felt like forever (but was really only 15 minutes), our cab arrived, and we left the puzzling afrikaans-speaking nightlife scene behind (the guy decided to give april a call after we got back to the b & b, but that turned out to be more of a source of amusement to us than anything else).

we woke up the next day (sunday), and it was right then and there that i knew i was getting sick. still, i wanted to complete our weekend, so we went into town to attend a soccer game at vodacom park. we thought it would be really packed, but i guess everybody was planning on attending the match later on in the day so the stands were fairly sparse for the noon match (plus, it was raining). the game was a lot of fun to watch, but they seemed to ignore all legitimate rules of professional soccer. mainly, the timing of the match was rather unconventional. “halftime” was about 20 minutes in, and the match ended like 80 minutes in, too. also, the players kept on slipping on the puddles throughout the field and falling down, which was actually more hilarious than anything else. haha.

after that, we walked back over to the waterfront, where we caught a showing of the “district 9” movie. it as pretty atrocious, as i was expecting it to serve as a social critique but it was basically just 2 hours of violent shit. it wasn’t a terribly realistic depiction of south africa either, but whatever, johannesburg is different from cape town so what can i say. we grabbed some ice cream after the showing, which i of course enjoyed. :)

soon after that, we went back to the b & b to relax for a little bit, then we packed our bags and went to the bus terminal, which was largely a fruitless endeavour given the weather had transformed into a particularly heinous rainstorm and our bus was some 2 hours delayed coming in from pretoria. our bus finally arrived, and soaking wet, we boarded it. the bus wasn’t as comfortable as the one we’d taken to bloemfontein, but i was able to sleep nonetheless.

we arrived in cape town the next morning -- late, of course, and because of that i missed my urban politics tutorial (which, as i later found out, got cancelled anyway). i was definitely sick by that point, much to my chagrin, but nevertheless i can say that i definitely enjoyed the weekend -- even though there was no shortage of strange characters or random events! still, it was nice to get out of cape town and see another part of the county. sure, it wasn’t durban or port elizabeth, but like when we went to northern cape, i’d like to think it gave us a more “authentic”, locals’ perspective on what south africa is really like. that being said, i still hold that bloemfontein is certainly not for the tourists. ;)

more to come.

musings on healthcare

2009-10-22T21:22:00.001+02:00

lately in my sociology of industrialisation class, we’ve been discussing the issue of national healthcare, and as if this weren’t already such a contentious issue in the united states, it truly rises to the forefront of individuals’ attentions, minds, and hearts here in south africa. in 2007, the expenditure for public sector healthcare totalled 59 billion rand, serving 40 million denizens. on the other hand, the expenditure for private sector healthcare totalled 67 billion rand, serving 7 million of the country’s wealthier residents. put another way, in 2007, the 8.5% of south africa’s gdp spent on healthcare; 3.5% of it went to public sector healthcare, whereas 5% went to private sector healthcare. the annual amount spent per person within public sector healthcare is 1,400 rand, whereas the annual amount spent per person within private sector healthcare is 9,500 rand.

the extreme disparity in the amount of money allotted toward healthcare in the public versus the private sector has resulted in a remarkable gap in the standards of health between south africans – and understandably so. after all, medicine has undergone a process of commodification – the result of this being that, if you can afford it, you can obtain the best healthcare possible. if you can’t, then you’re screwed.

this issue certainly sparked a debate amongst the students in my sociology class, and quite frankly, i wasn’t too enthused about the solutions they proposed for remedying the situation. one of the more outlandish (in my opinion, at least) solutions proposed was a reassignment of white medical staff to facilities in majority-black neighbourhoods, and vice versa. i wasn’t terribly keen on this pitch, namely because it works under the presumption that all white people are rich and all black people are poor (a supposition that’s becoming less and less true in post-apartheid south africa), but also because it presumes that whites inherently provide better healthcare than blacks (it should be noted that the author of this suggestion, in fact, is black).

another suggestion that i was equally nonplussed about, but seemed to be met with a greater level of amenability by my classmates, was that of eradicating private healthcare altogether. under this proposal, all of south africa’s medical staff, facilities, and programmes would be state-owned and state-operated. the 7 million denizens currently subscribing to private sector healthcare would be reassigned to public sector healthcare (against their respective wills, but that’s another issue).

it is indisputable that private sector healthcare triumphs over that of the public sector, and the 7 million south africans presently subscribing to private sector healthcare receive a far superior quality of medical care than the 40 million utilising public sector healthcare. if this is the case, then why should south africa bring an end to private healthcare altogether? while it’s lamentable that optimal healthcare isn’t readily available to the entire south african populace, realistically speaking, it’s better that this higher standard of healthcare be available to at least some of the population, rather than none at all.

eliminating private sector healthcare in south africa altogether is a very dangerous concept. while decent healthcare is at least somewhat attainable in south africa, a complete transition to nationalised, public sector healthcare would eradicate any semblance of this. if private sector healthcare is allowed to remain, then it will eventually make its way throughout south african society – private firms, advertising a dramatically higher standard for healthcare, will entice consumers of all socioeconomic statues, and eventually the private sector will become the de facto option for medical services. if private sector healthcare ceases to exist in south africa, however, then there will be no chance of this, and the standard of living in this country will significantly suffer.

as the united states finds itself in the midst of this litigious issue in the context of its own population, it is important to remember that countries like south africa, despite a smaller population, have far less capital to spend on medical services as well. the discrepancy in healthcare amongst americans seems small in comparison to that amongst south africans. the existence of private healthcare, even in a minimal capacity, within south africa not only provides a greater quality of healthcare for denizens than would otherwise be possible, but also serves as a promise for a greater standard of medical care for all south africans in the future. by nationalising healthcare in its entirety and eliminating private sector healthcare, this possibility will be exterminated.

if you see her, say hello

2009-10-18T01:01:00.000+02:00

i know you all were expecting a post on bloemfontein. and i'll get there, i promise. but i just wanted to share some of my recent musings.

so, i've got this problem. i'm always thinking ahead. which doesn't sound like such a dilemma, unless you factor in the fact that its consequence is that i'm never content with the here and now. like, last semester, i was fixated on the prospect of going to cape town, and this one, all i can think about is everything i've got going on next semester. i mean, i'm gonna get involved in chad's new liberty society club at gw; i'm gonna be doing stuff with ΣAΛ, my honours fraternity; i'll likely be back at my fab job at dsw, at least over christmas; i'm gonna find a great internship, which shouldn't be too difficult considering employers like hiring interns with at least junior standing, which i've got now; i'll be taking classes at gw again, which will be such a breath of fresh air since uct's coursework doesn't challenge me whatsoever; and, most crucially, i'll be back with all my amazing friends. right now, it all sounds pretty sweet.

and yet, even though i'm sure this semester will be over before i know it, i've still got a ways to go (33 days, to be precise) before i leave cape town. i've carved out a niche here and established a modus operandi for myself here: indeed, i volunteer, i intern, i go to class, i go to on-campus clubs, i explore the city. and yet, i can't help but feel listless toward my being in the present day.

were my expectations far too unrealistically high for cape town, and ergo i'm not suffering the consequences of such thinking? or, am i merely fated to live in a state of being in which i am perpetually excited for what lies ahead whilst remaining nonplussed toward my present status?

there's arguments for both, i guess. one element that's certainly served to the detriment of this current semester is the lack of genuine friendships that i feel i have here. the truth is that i really don't have any south african friends, and the overwhelming majority of my friendships with americans feel trite and contrived; those that might have a little more meaning, well, they simply haven't been able to replace the ones i left behind. the last time i felt this way was in 2nd grade.... i had no friends then, either, and the prospect of moving to thousand oaks made me feel extremely hopeful. now, 13 years later, i find myself in the same dilemma.

on the other hand, what if i am not so lucky as to be chugging toward a blissful dénouement? indeed, what if i am doomed to wander the earth, cursed by my own today, never truly able to reach that golden tomorrow? it's entirely possible: reflecting on my previous blog entries, i find myself constantly discussing my then-seemingly exciting future plans whilst lamenting past decisions leading to my then-present. will this pattern lead to an eternal listlessness on my end?

in truth, i imagine that the answer lies somewhere between the two. as quinton has said, studying abroad in cape town is not solely about learning about south african culture, customs, politics, society, etc.; it's about becoming an increasingly global citizen, and to that end, becoming more aware of my own identity as an american. indeed, it'd be impossible to say that this semester is just like any other semester during my undergrad. the lessons i'm learning are far more momentous than ones i've learned in semesters past.

so, let's take a look at what i've figured out.

first and foremost, i am utterly, indisputably, and irrevocably proud to be an american. south africans wishing to travel to the united kingdom must obtain a visa, through their local british consulate, before departing south africa. when i went to the united kingdom, all i did was click a few buttons on orbitz, take a sleeping pill, and off went the plane. (brangelina were crazy to deny their swakopmund-born daughter an american passport in favour of a namibian one.)

when my greatgrandparents left german-occupied austria in 1941, their voyage took them sprinting through the fields of western europe, carrying my grandfather in their arms as they ran, for fear that the nazi soldiers chasing them would catch up to them. i'm an american thanks to their willpower.

second, as much as i complain about it and ridicule it, the truth is that i absolutely love attending george washington university. not to sound terribly conceited, but people tell me left and right that i could've gotten into georgetown with my sat scores. it's a great school, but egad, why would i want to go there? i get to go to school in the same neighbourhood as the naval hospital, the state department, and the world bank. my freshman dorm was 4 blocks from the white house. i could see the washington monument from my sophomore dorm. the tv sets in my student union play cnn and msnbc, not espn. there are busts of our nation's first president scattered throughout campus. classes are tough, but i always walk away from any given semester having enjoyed at least a couple of them. and most importantly, even though i chastise gw for not playing an active role in my pursuits, it's still helped me nonetheless in obtaining employment (via the very pleasing line it adds to my résumé), exploring dc (thanks to its conveniently placed metro stop, proximity to the mall, etc.), and making friends.

that brings me to my final point. when i left california in 2007, i couldn't believe what i was doing... how could i say good-bye to the 10 years i'd spent formulating friendships in thousand oaks? then, i got to dc, and i find myself in a world in which i could walk down any given sidewalk and assuredly run into someone i know for a quick hello. i certainly see a lot of faces to which i'm averse, too, but nevertheless, i've been very blessed to have encountered a wide and warm social circle over my 2 years in dc.

if there's one lesson i'd like to take away from my semester abroad, it's to never, ever take the individuals in my life for granted. they're all too important and too precious to be overlooked or dismissed. being 12,000 miles away from them all certainly has stressed the importance of this credence for me.

on the one hand, i'm sure that, in the future, i'll succumb to my natural process of longing for the future whilst listless toward the present. on the other, i feel as if my experience studying here in south africa has somehow been too monumental to regard as "just any other semester", and consequently, i hope to be able to cherish these elements (my country, my school, and my life) of my life, as well as many more (my family, my job, my travels, god, etc.), with much more fervor than ever before.

i know that, as i sit here, alone in my room on a saturday night, i certainly do right now.

your mother should know

2009-10-05T14:25:00.000+02:00

remember back in sixth grade, when it was all the rage to let your pants sag and have your boxers exposed? i did that once, and my mom saw me and man oh man was she pissed. in retrospect, what in god's name were we thinking?

so, apparently, my e-mail address is circling its merry way around nigeria.

∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙

from: yourcareer@shilty.com
to: Michael Ross
date: Mon, Oct 5, 2009 at 2:17 AM
subject: Michael Ross, a vacancy of Part time position for a student may be interesting to you

Hello, Michael Ross! I found your resume interesting. Our company needs Part time position for a student. Salary - 14.000 USD. Our site address - http://www.shilty.com/?cs=qkme8xf1b4.

Sincerely yours, HR-director.
Cilicia Miller
Shilty Company
http://www.shilty.com/?cs=qkme8xf1b4

∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙

umm, first of all: SHITTY company!?!!!?? that should be anybody's first clue. i shan't dwell on the myriad grammatical, uhh, points of interest, but note "cilicia"'s usage of the decimal comma, as is common in anglophone african countries such as nigeria, as opposed to the decimal point as used in the united states.

in other news, i went to the beach at fish hoek yesterday afternoon. i took metrorail, which offers beautiful views of false bay since the track hugs the shoreline, but unfortunately, i had a stomachache whilst there. :( also, it got cloudy. meh.

the sims 3

2009-10-01T20:55:00.000+02:00

the best part about studying abroad in cape town is also the worst part: no matter what the task or action, everything spontaneously becomes an adventure. even for tasks as seemingly simplistic as running over to the supermarket, it's your best bet to devise not only an intricately formulated plan for yourself, but a back-up plan as well. so, when i decided to go across town today to century city, over the northern suburbs (as opposed to my own suburb of mowbray, in the southern suburbs), the action i took was anything but straightforward.

not even a month ago, EA released their newest computer game, the sims 3. i've loved the sims series since the original version of the game came out 9 years ago, and i've been playing it - off and on - ever since. my dad gave it to me as a gift when i was 11, and my mom, displeased by the ESRB "teen" rating, made me promise i wouldn't make my sims have sex. so, i just trapped them in a room and burned them instead.

now, at age 20, i have decided that, despite the rapidly increasing number of the responsibilities that i've got here, i want to start playing computer games again. i don't have a tv, and the internet is ridiculously expensive here, so i decided to obtain a copy of the sims 3. miraculously, EA opted not only to produce this programme so that it could played on either PCs or macs, but also to release it here around the same time as in america. both agnes and jeffrey have purchased it and have raved about it for me, so i decided to forego fighting off my attention deficit in favour of purchasing the programme.

the only problem with this, of course, was the price. R350 is certainly a lot for me to spend, especially when my income is zilch. however, agnes informed me of gumtree, south africa's answer to craigslist, so i opted to check it out in hopes of finding a cheaper version of it in this way.

well, i was right. a woman decided she was too busy at work to play the game (whoops), so she decided to sell her copy. she listed the price as R200... i negged her down to R150, and that was that. the problem: she wanted me to come pick up the programme from her in century city, where she works. yikes, that's quite a distance, especially sans automobile.

nevertheless, enchanted by the notion of saving a cool R200, i opted to traverse the city via public transit in order to get to century city... a task easier imagined than completed. the majority (60%) of commuting capetonians travel via "taxi" (known in america as a jitney or a shared taxi), so after failing to find any clues online regarding how to get to century city via train or municipal bus, i opted to travel via taxi.

the problem with this: taxis function within an extremely decentralised system, so there's no website elucidating taxi routes and whatnot. ergo, i left my building around 2:30 with a strategy in mind of touch and go. i rode a taxi on the only route i'd ever taken before (main road toward wynberg) into cape town, to the central taxi terminal. i've always been fascinated by this structure; it's bustling with an indescribable amount of activity. my favourite part, however, is the series of 30ish lanes, each signed to indicate the final destination of whichever taxis pull into the given lane. it creates the illusion that transit in cape town is simple.

since i didn't know which taxi route i'd want (since they aren't listed online) before i got to the terminal, i walked down the (very loud) row of lanes, reading the signs posted at every lane, trying to determine what my best bet would be. no routes terminated at century city (as i'd guessed), but one goes to the neighbouring community of milnerton. i decided that milnerton would be my best bet.

since i'd been staring at my street map prior to my journey and knew the basics of century city/milnerton's geography, i told the conductor of the taxi in the front of the lane that i wanted to go to milnerton mall (i'd decided to walk to century city from there). well, in typical TIA (this is africa) ridiculousness, no one had any idea what i was talking about. great. i finally found somebody who knew what i was talking about; apparently, the shopping complex had been renamed centre point mall. so, off i went.

the taxi passed through brooklyn along koeberg road. soon, we reached milnerton, and i was let out in front of centre point mall. great, now what? i was feeling rather calm at this point, though; the northern suburbs have a reputation for being safe and comfortable, and lo and behold, this held true in my eyes. (for those of you at home getting antsy reading my words, take solace in the fact that i'd NEVER conduct a journey like this in a rough neighbourhood. again.) looking at my map, i determined that cutting through a neighbourhood, named tijgerhof, would be my best plan. so, off i went down degrendel road.

tijgerhof was an odd mix of swakopmund and the san fernando valley. most of the street signs in the area were in the distinct style that swakopmund's and windhoek's were in, and frankly, that made me feel even more at ease. tijgerhof had some condominium complexes resembling the (seemingly tunisian/moroccan) architecture prevalent throughout swakopmund, but the houses looked as if they belonged in canoga park. one of the roads i needed to take was unpaved, which threw me off, but that was only temporary, and i continued on.

traversing tijgerhof, however, i suddenly became aware of how late it had become: it was suddenly 3:45! i sent an sms to the woman i'd be buying the software off of, asking her if we could push our 4:00 meeting back to 4:30. she was amenable. i got to the other side of tijgerhof at ratanga road, and unfortunately, it was here that i made a crucial error. i'd planned on turning right down ratanga road and turning into century city not too far down. however, i saw signage announcing the entrance to century city right in front of me, so i proceeded straight into the community.

century city is an oddity for cape town. it's a master planned community, and as such, it's made to look dazzling and pretentious. i proceeded down century boulevard, becoming increasingly reminded of wood ranch (for those of you native to ventura county) as well as exhausted from walking. signage indicated that canal walk (the mall where i was to meet my seller) was "ahead", but all i saw were more master-planned neighbourhoods of cookie-cutter houses. indeed, like most master planned communities, century city would've been far easier to traverse by car.

after a half hour, i reached a more commercial section of century city. now, the urban landscape reminded me of las vegas. the architecture certainly opted to make its buildings look larger than life, and i immediately felt an intense of aura of elegance pervading the neighbourhood. i continued walking, by this point not only exhausted, but baffled by all the "century city shuttles" i saw running. oh well, i figured i couldn't be that far off, right?

i hit canal walk right on the dot of 4:30. had this been our original plan for meeting up, i'd have been quite proud of myself. the seller showed up at 4:45 (quite good for africa time), and we completed the transaction. at last, i had the sims 3 in my possession! :D i walked around canal walk for a bit, and it looked like an awesome mall. i wanted to spend more time there, but at the stroke of 5, i started to worry that, since it'd taken me some 2 hours to get here, i wouldn't make it back to mowbray before sunset. so, i left.

upon exiting canal walk, i saw, right in front of me, a bench labelled "century city shuttles pick-up". i figured, "why not?" and boarded it. it didn't take me terribly far, but it only cost R2, and it helped me realise how silly it had been to go through century city's first entrance at ratanga road; there was a much more convenient option not too far from canal walk! i alighted at century city's transit terminal; nope, no luck getting back to cape town, as all the options i saw would have taken me to various locations throughout cape flats (where, presumably, most of century city's blue collar employees reside. i'm not trying to pass a judgment, it's just fact.). fortunately, i was not too far off from tijgerhof, so i made my way through that neighbourhood relatively quickly.

i came out of tijgerhof at centre point mall, and hoping to take the reverse journey of what i'd done before, i caught a taxi whose conductor told me that it was cape town-bound. this was, as i should have expected, false, and the taxi terminated at the maitland metro station. i was disgruntled, especially since i sensed that the sun would soon disappear behind table mountain for the day, but the conductor not only helped me find a truly cape town-bound taxi, but gave some of the R6.50 fare that i'd given him to my new taxi's conductor so i wouldn't have to pay an additional fare. this new taxi rattled more than i like them to, but it nevertheless made its way to the taxi terminal in cape town in due time.

the sun disappeared behind table mountain. crap, time to vamoose. i found my way to the wynberg-bound lane and boarded one of its taxis. it's a popular route, and that was made obvious given the large crowd waiting on the platform to board a taxi as well as how crammed we were into the (supposedly) 15-passenger minibus. i'd guess the true number was somewhere in the twenties.

dusk came about just as i alighted from that, my final taxi of the day, and i hurried down saint peter's and durban roads into my building. i immediately felt victorious, having completed my roundtrip journey unscathed. :)

i suppose that, when i get back to dc, any given situation will seem rather easy to take on, and any given method will seem wholly efficient and effortless on my end. from overcoming a car accident in rural namibia to obtaining a computer game from a woman across town, though, the adventures thrust upon me here in africa make any day become instantaneously exciting. :)

maybe i should send a moneygram to the prince of nigeria, too

2009-09-28T20:51:00.000+02:00

my life seems to be continuing in its ongoing saga of being stressful, hectic, and annoying. i woke up to find a nasty, anonymously written comment on my blog entry about stellenbosch (which i promptly deleted.... but don't think i don't know who did it), and during my urban politics tutorial, the tutor got pissed off because none of us had completed the assignment, so she dismissed us rather abruptly (to be fair, we've all been working on our group projects) at that point. given that i'm still trying to settle the bill with budget as well as get all of my electronics back in working shape, school stresses are totally bringing me down (not to mention the fact i'm way homesick). so, when shit like this happens, it doesn't bode well for my mood.

to add insult to injury, i've been surfing craigslist for housing in dc in november, and i thought i was on a lead with a very promising place at 1077 30th street when i came to the unfortunate realisation that the leaser i'd been conversing with is naught but a scam artist. quel dommage.

don't believe me? judge for yourself. (from our google chat conversation today)

me: hi
scam artist: hello
scam artist: i am hoping you could at least send me the signed copy of the lease and maybe a part payment of the rent
scam artist: as agreed
me: well, you need to send me the lease first
scam artist: i mean the informations i requested from you
scam artist: sorry it was a typing error
me: what information do you need from me?
scam artist: if you want me to send the lease agreement to you, i would need these details
scam artist: full name
scam artist: date of birth
scam artist: current address
scam artist: expected move-in date
scam artist: date of departure
scam artist: a scan of an id (if you have one)
me: could you e-mail that list of things to me? and i'll get them to you as soon as i can
scam artist: i will do that right away
scam artist: also can you tell me how you intend paying for the reservation?
me: partly my own income and partly financial aid
scam artist: i see
scam artist: as soon as i can get the lease to you and you are able to sign it, i would prefer if you can send the payment to my lawyer so that he can hold in a kind of escrow till you arrive
me: as in, a deposit?
scam artist: i think i already told you i am away in utah at the moment
me: yeah, you did.
scam artist: i just sent you an email
me: well, i'd prefer to send one of my friends over to the apartment to take a look at it on my behalf before i sign anything or send you any money. and that, i'd presume, would involve you being back from utah (unless your attorney can show my friend the place)
scam artist: yeah well i can fly in from utah
scam artist: but i have to see a kind of proof that you would be willinf to pay eventually
me: hmm how long had you planned on staying in utah for?
scam artist: well at least for the next couple of weeks
scam artist: but i am hoping i could wrap up housing issus soon
me: as am i. well, could your attorney show my friend the place?
scam artist: yeah he can but he stays in ca
scam artist: and i would have to see a proof from you before i can agree to him flying down to show your friend, because there are so much time wasters there
me: what do you mean by that
scam artist: don't be offended
scam artist: there are so many people out there that are just gonna waste time
scam artist: so i need a kinda proof
me: like what
scam artist: do you want your friend sign the lease on your behalf?
scam artist: like making a deposit of the rent payment in a monwygram account and retrieve when you arrive in dc at least that shows you are serious about it
me: no, i don't want my friend to sign the lease on my behalf. and i'm not comfortable with giving you any money before i'm sure i want the place. and the only way i'd know for sure is if my friends tell me it looks like a legit place i'd like to live at
scam artist: you can start looking when you reach dc
me: i beg your pardon? i can start looking for what?
scam artist: when you reach dc you look for your flat
me: no, i want to secure a place before i arrive back in dc... that's the point of you and i conversing. lol
me: and that's funny you should say "flat", i hear it called that all the time here in sa but not back in the us
scam artist: well i just used that because i know you are in sa
scam artist: lol
scam artist: what do you think we should do now?
scam artist: okay i have a suggestion
me: okay, shoot.
scam artist: please this might sound crazy but that is what i want you to do.
scam artist: do you know moneygram service? www.moneygram.com
me: yes.
scam artist: i would want you to send the first rent and deposit through the transfer to your own name as a receiver in dc using the moneygram method, then you can scan and send the receipt to me for confirmation.as soon as i have confirmed it,i would schedule a flight down to dc and meet with your friend
scam artist: then when you get to dc and meet with me, you can retrieve at the nearest outlet
scam artist: and pay cash
scam artist: what do you think?
me: i think there might be a better way of doing this. like, i could just show you a copy of my bank statement.
scam artist: but that only tells me you have the fund but not that you would be willing to pay
scam artist: i think what i suggest might be the best way
scam artist: someone suggested it to me last year
scam artist: she was actually in this type of situation also and was not comfortable paying without seeing or meeting me in person, but that works quite fine
scam artist: she later arrived in dc and we went to connecuite av. to retrieve the payment in exchange for the keys
me: well, when do you anticipate being back in dc?
me: we can just hold off on doing this until you get back from utah. then, my bud can come by, whenever you are free
scam artist: than i might have to sublet to another person
scam artist: am sorry
me: i'm sorry too, but i have got to tell ya, the way you're suggesting makes it sound like a scam money wiring is fishy, anyway. besides, if i wire money to myself, why is that more of a guarantee that i'd pay than if i just showed you a bank statement?
scam artist: that seems to be an insult
me: it's not, and i'm sorry if you take things that way. i'm just going by craigslist guidelines, which speak against money wiring
scam artist: i undestand that is why i suggest to send it to your name
scam artist: not me
me: i still don't understand what good that would do. again, that shows that i only have the money, not that i'd be willing to pay.
me: don't you have a friend or someone, local to dc who could show my bud the apt.?
scam artist: at least that way you can be sure you would retrieve only with your govt. issued id
me: like a dl?
scam artist: yeah
me: i still don't understand what good that would do.
scam artist: i don't
me: why would i wire money to myself?
me: you don't what?
me: also, in regard to your e-mail, i believe i already told you my expected move-in date and "date of departure"
me: and why wouldn't i have an id? you know i'm abroad, i obviously have a passport
scam artist: okay
me: okay what?
me: i don't even know your surname. i don't feel comfortable doing all of these tasks for a stranger.
me: are you still there? i've begun to become rather suspicious of this entire deal.
scam artist: lol
scam artist: i am here
scam artist: just don't know what else i can tell you
scam artist: if you want a scan of my dl or passport i can send to you
scam artist: i am serious about this as you are
me: no, what good would that do me?
scam artist: but honestly i have dealt with so many time wasters in the past
scam artist: well i don't know
scam artist: maybe just some security
me: what is on the same block as the apartment building?
me: hello?
scam artist: am here
me: what is on the same block as the apartment building?
me: well?
me: i'm just becoming highly worried that this entire thing is a scam. in which case, i'd have to report this incident to craigslist.

that was pretty much it, i told her to shove off at that point, she got defensive, blah blah blah. i can't even deal. how disappointing, especially considering the price was right and it'd have been walking distance to gwu. :(

well, it looks like i'm back at square one. maybe i should take a personal day.

my spacebar is going through menopause right now, so i'm writing this post from the computer lab

2009-09-23T14:46:00.000+02:00

list of electronics are mine that are currently broken:

camera. status: in johannesburg. i sent it in for repair, but i don't know when i'm getting it back.
blackberry. status: incapacitated until the replacement parts i ordered online arrive. then, i get to play a little frankenstein on my phone.
laptop. status: sometimes works, sometimes doesn't. when it does, i use it; when it doesn't, it's off to the lab for me.
ipod. status: waiting to miraculously get enough money to buy a replacement ipod, which currently has a battery life of about 15 minutes.
ipod headphones. status: why should i bother replacing these when my ipod is in such bad shape?
lamp. status: it fell off my desk, it no longer switches on, i don't know what to do about it. (yes, i realise that a lamp isn't an electronic, but it still counts!)

obviously, the aggregate of all these damages i find very aggravating, especially considering i'm also trying to resolve the namibia car rental bill situation. oh, and i have to go to school somewhere in there, too.

in the mean time, brigid, april, and i have opted to go to bloemfontein over the weekend of october 10 for the macufe cultural festival. bloemfontein is hardly a noteable tourists' destination, but it's a chance to see another part of the country, and since i'm here for an entire semester, why not? besides, macufe should be fun... t-pain is for some reason performing there. hurrah!!

bloemfontein is not too far from the lesothoan border, so we're hoping to pop on in to lesotho while we're there. for those of you who don't know, lesotho is a country. it has its own flag and laws and everything! :) good for lesotho.

anyway, hopefully camera will be back and alive again come time for bloemfontein. as for right now, i'm exhausted, but i'm dragging myself to class anyway. fml.

having had such an intensely fun weekend makes tonight seem terribly low-key

2009-09-21T01:40:00.001+02:00

if i kiss you where it's sore...
if i kiss you where it's sore...
will you feel better... better... better?
will you feel anything at all?

will you feel better... better... better?
will you feel anything at all?

born like sisters to this world
in a town where blood ties are only blood,
if you never say your name out loud to anyone
they can never ever call you by it

if i kiss you where it's sore...
if i kiss you where it's sore...
will you feel better... better... better?
will you feel anything at all?

will you feel better... better... better?
will you feel anything at all?

you're getting sadder...
getting sadder... getting sadder... getting sadder...
and i don't understand... and i don't understand

but if i kiss you where it's sore...
if i kiss you where it's sore...
will you feel better... better... better?
will you feel anything at all?
will you feel better... better... better?
will you feel anything at all?
anything at all... anything at all?

will you feel anything at all... anything at all?
will you feel anything at all... anything at all...?

i've never been to johannesburg (but that certainly isn't stopping my camera from going without me)

2009-09-14T20:47:00.000+02:00

i'm back from my trip to namibia. and man oh man, what an adventure. i could never lie and say that this was the most enjoyable trip i've ever taken, much less the most relaxing. but it was certainly the most interesting. you be the judge...

in typical african fashion, the trip was hectic and chaotic from its commencement. we left cape town on the 5th in our rental car (a bmw... it was by the luck of the draw, but it wasn't too shabby for me!) after liz arose to discover that her camera had been stolen. so, already, we were down one camera. we drove to a small highway town called citrusdal, which unexpectedly had swarms of people in the streets. we eventually chocked it up to the typical south african ideology of camaraderie, but that didn't explain the unusually long line ("queue") at the absa atm. on the block with the visitors' centre (which we instantly dubbed the "white oasis), we discovered a café named die sitrus, in which we enjoyed some delicious margherita pizzas.

after that, we pressed on, eventually having to stop for gas ("petrol") in the town of bitterfontein. we couldn't find a petrol station immediately, so we got out of the car at the visitors' centre. the building was closed for the weekend, but that certainly didn't curtail a swarm of bees from attacking us! we hurriedly ran back into the car, but it was too late: they'd gotten into the car with us! we opened the windows and drove off, hoping they'd fly out as we drove. sara and i retreated to under my jacket for safety. we drove a few blocks to a liquor store, on whose porch several men (one of whom seemed more than comfortable with the fact that his asscrack was hanging out for the world to see) were hanging out and shooting the breeze. i guess they were immediately interested in us, because they started shouting and pointing in every which way when liz asked, "where is there a restroom?" it was chaos. eventually, we gathered that they were directing us down the street to a petrol station. this was a much more preferable part of town: the petrol station was bee-free, had reasonably clean restrooms, and best of all had its own cat! we quickly dubbed this neighbourhood "bitterfontein heights". :) (i hope william appreciates that one.)

from there, we drove on to fonteinjie, a suburb of springbok with a noteable wildflower reserve. i felt rather nonplussed about that excursion given my debilitating allergies to pollen, but we went nonetheless and i turned out to be fine. for me, however, the flowers weren't the best part of the reserve: it was the animals! we saw several springboks and onyxes (both of which are cousins to the antelope), amongst other critters. how appropriate it was that we were listening to the lion king soundtrack at the time! ;)

after that, we drove on to port nolloth, a coastal town which served as our rest point for the first night. we were very lucky to have entered town just as the sun was setting (since the atlantic ocean sits to the west of the town, we got to watch the sun set over the sea). the beach house we'd rented to stay out was charming and comfortable, but certainly not without its secrets. for instance, there were several doors throughout the house that were locked, and they didn't seem to go anywhere logical. there was also a little girl's dress hanging in the utility closet. we immediately concluded that this was all the work of a GHOST!!! and that the house was haunted. that didn't keep us from staying at the house, though.

that evening, we hit up a restaurant in port nolloth called anita's taven. i could not have been reminded more of the krusty krab, with the exception of the food served. in fact, hardly any food was served at all: we were warned when we entered that service is deliberately slow due to the fact that all of the food is made fresh, but we all came to think that waiting 2 hours at a restaurant for your entrée was ridiculous. especially when the food, when eventually served, is mediocre at best and the portions are small. i suppose that this last point was due to confusion on our server's part: i asked for a full portion of the pasta alfredo, whereas liz and sara asked to split one between us; for some reason, for some reason, this resulted in two-thirds of a portion for each of us. we wolfed down the food and left to go back to the house for some shuteye.

we awoke early on the 6th and decided to cross the border into namibia so as to visit the renowned ai-ais hot springs. most of us had never faced an overland border crossing before (when i entered sweden from denmark, we didn't have to show our passports), so it was a unique experience for us. of course, the entire process seemed absolutely haphazard: south africa stamped our passports and told us to go through, so we drove for 1km to the namibian office, where they had us fill out a customs declaration form and let us come in. no checking of our bags, no checking of our car. as the south africans would say, it was all very "hectic." the only redeeming factor was an adorable cat (who we named "customs cat") who seemed to enjoy the attention she got by the passing travellers.

we pulled off the main highway (which had notoriously barren, with ample open spaces) and drove along an untarred road (there was no other route) for some 60km before getting to ai-ais. the compound was definitely not like the rest of namibia; in fact, it looked like a resort plucked out of palm springs. there were spa facilities, a hotel, a restaurant (which we had lunch at), a gas station, even a small supermarket. the one thing it lacked, however, were the actual hot springs themselves. we made a few laps around the compound and, not locating the springs, settled to go into a very pleasing and soothing swimming pool (i don't think we were actually supposed to go in, but it felt so good!). we swam for a little bit before getting out again to look for the hot springs.

we eventually happened on what turned out to be little more than a puddle surrounded by a chainlink fence. however, we decided that it, unlike anything else we'd seen, must have been the springs, so brigid, liz, and i looped our legs through the fence and dipped our feet in. yikes!!! 65° celsius (about 150° fahrenheit) is a lot hotter than we'd presumed. we took an agonising photo of ourselves with our feet dipped in, then ran out so as to let our feet detox from the scorching heat.

after that, we drove back to port nolloth (reentry into south africa went without a hitch) to spend the late afternoon/early evening on the beach. the sunset was beautiful (though not as much as the night before), but unfortunately high tide left brigid and i stranded on a rock out at sea for a few minutes. once brigid and i made it back to the beach, we went back to the house for a delicious pasta dinner, courtesy of sean.

on the 7th, we woke up and packed our belongings back in the car for the long drive up to swakopmund, namibia. the landlady of our lodging in port nolloth called to tell me to leave the R700 in rent in the microwave, but as we were on the road to the border she called back to explain that she'd meant to say R800 and that we were R100. annoyed at this, i told her that we were already en route to namibia and that i'd wire her the R100. our expenses climbed higher as we got to the border: no customs cat this time, but for some reason the namibian border guard told us that we'd have to pay an entry fee of 180 namibian dollars (henceforth represented as "N"). we weren't sure why, as we hadn't had to pay the day before, but the border guards didn't seem to care and so we shelled out the N180.

we drove to keetmanshoop, where we stopped for both petrol and lunch, which we enjoyed at a café named the ell-na coffeeshop. we stopped a couple more times for petrol and such on our way up to swakopmund, and fortunately we were able to bypass the traffic of windhoek by taking a beltway-esque road. unfortunately, however, the road entering swakopmund was laden with construction (not to mention misleading road signs), so we didn't arrive in the town until relatively late. despite both this and the fact that brigid's camera had given up on her somewhere along the way, we were all in high spirits, singing abba all the way to swakopmund. furthermore, luckily for us, however, the landlord of our beach house in swakopmund met us at the entrance to the town and led us to a steakhouse named spur for dinner. like the rest of the town, spur had an entirely american feel to it; it's no wonder that brangelina chose swakopmund as the town in which to have their baby. the streets were well-paved, the shops had familiar names, and all of the patrons we saw at spur were white. frankly, i don't think they saw an accurate depiction of the country. ;)

anyway, the food at spur was tasty, but even more amusing to us was the fact that our server was clearly gay. for those of you who don't know, homosexuality is illegal in namibia, and needless to say this regulation captivated both my interest and my concern. i was tempted to question our server about his experiences, but i eventually decided that being too forward would only land me in water hotter than ai-ais's. ;) after that, we retreated to the beach house (located in a suburb of swakopmund named vogelstrand), which may have been smaller than port nolloth's, but was also more contemporary, more comfortable, and most importantly not haunted. i opted for the futon, whereas liz and sean took one bedroom, and brigid and sara took the other.

the 8th proved to be probably my favourite day of the trip, and i probably owe this to the fact that we did the least amount of travelling on this day. we awoke and went to the visitors' centre for pricing options on skydiving, but we determined that N1900 was more than we could afford. then, we asked about parasailing: the price was N900, so we agreed that that was much more reasonable and so the associate tried calling the parasailing instructor. no answer. she left him a voicemail with my phone number but gave his to me so that i could try again myself later. after that, we walked around downtown swakopmund for a little while longer, doing some shopping and splurging before reconvening at the village café for lunch. this proved to be everyone's favourite restaurant of the trip: the patio was sunny, the decorations were funny, the food was delicious, and the existence of tip jars and our server's offering us separate cheques were both extremely agreeable to us.

after lunch, we drove 30km south to walvis bay, which proved itself to be a rather disappointing town. it was mostly industrial in its zoning, meaning that its enjoyability was rather low. i looked for a pay phone at which i could try calling the parasailing instructor again: i first went into a yacht club, at which the receptionist's surly attitude toward me made it abundantly clear that i was not welcome whatsoever, and then i tried at a public hospital, in which i freaked out over the seemingly abysmal level of healthcare that i observed. i became full of concern, both for that hospital's patients as well as for my fellow americans, grappling with an increasingly socialising healthcare system. (more ranting on that one later, though.)

in any case, since walvis bay turned out to be a disappointment as far as cities run, we drove out to the gigantic sand dunes outside of town for some observation and exploration. the dunes were definitely something to write home about: they're MASSIVE!!! the fine sand is abundant and comprises the breathtaking and impressive landscape. we explored for a short while, but unfortunately, there was a rather debilitating sandstorm in process, causing the wind to blow virtually sideways... into our eyes and, even worse, into our hair. i tried taking a time-lapse photo with my camera of us on a dune by placing it on another dune, but unfortunately, the sandstorm blew too much sand into the lens, and it became unoperable instantaneously. so much for taking photos! :( for those of you who are counting, that makes 3 cameras that we were at that point collectively down by.

we cut our losses and drove back toward swakopmund. upon arriving back in vogelstrand, we opted to spend dinner at a restaurant called the wreck. the building was situated on a cliff over the atlantic, and since we were there at sunset, we were able to observe the dusk from our table. honestly, however, in comparison to port nolloth's sunsets, we felt rather nonplussed, and we had mixed reactions toward our meal (i felt that it was relatively poor overall and rated it a 3, whereas brigid was impressed by the cheese in her pasta alfredo and rated it a 10). after that, we returned to our beach house and, after brigid and i watched the pilot episode of an absolutely intriguing bbc programme entitled miss naked beauty, i went to sleep.

in contrast to the 8th, the 9th proved to be an entirely stressful and exhausting day. i woke up around 5:30am to watch the sunrise over the sand dunes with brigid and sara... a task better accomplished had we had a functional camera! (sara had a rather obsolete film camera, but it wasn't quite the same.) then, since we hadn't ever heard back from the parasailing instructor, we stopped by the visitors' centre yet again to see if he'd called them, but to no avail... parasailing just wasn't in the cards for us. getting my camera back up and running again was not an option, either: i talked to an associate at swakopmund's camera shop, and he informed me that the damage would require the camera to be sent in for repairs at nikon's regional office in johannesburg. definitely an fml moment!!! :(

i cut my losses and, after stopping by the supermarket, we went back to the beach house, where i prepared a breakfast of scrambled eggs for the 5 of us.

we then checked out of our beach house and set out on the road to keetmanshoop, where we were planning on spending the night before returning to cape town. (this is where the story truly gets interesting) however, due to our liberal time frame as well as our curiosity to see more scenery, we decided upon a longer and more adventurous route to keetmanshoop via namib national park. BIG mistake. the roads were much rougher and more dicey than we'd anticipated, and the journey proved to be much more unnerving than we'd expected. nevertheless, sean, as our fearless driver, continued on, and we were only 1km away from reaching the B1 (the paved and preferable highway) when

BANG.

...and, before we knew it, although we were so close to the B1, our relentless car had descended down an impossibly steep hill and met an unfortunate fate with an ill-placed stone in the car's path. it hit the undercarriage of our car, damaging our gas tank, water pipe, and power steering mechanism. the car couldn't be driven after that, but fortunately for us (especially given how rural namibia is), we were able to wave down help relatively easy, and we got the car towed into the nearby town of rehoboth.

hmm, let me back up for a bit and say this: this is certainly not the first car accident i've been in, and perhaps if this had happened in the united states or south africa, it wouldn't have been as hectic of a situation. but we weren't, and it was. we felt fearful that being stranded with our broken vehicle made us susceptible to robbery, making the stopping traffic truly unnerving to us. fortunately, however, this wasn't the case: a few locals stopped and told us that he'd go into rehoboth to fetch a towtruck, a fact to which we were entirely grateful.

while we were waiting for the the towtruck, however, 2 of rehoboth's cops stopped at us in a patrol car, and they instantaneously proved themselves to be utterly unhelpful and aloof. in fact, they were far more concerned with getting our car off the road so as to prevent a traffic jam (which, on a road in rural namibia, is a laughable concept) than with our personal safety or interests. we asked if they'd call to see about the towtruck, but they instead made some displeasing comment like "well, hopefully someone will come by and help you" and drove off. in sum, they were truly infuriating.

then, a local farmer stopped by to offer not only his help, but to put us up for the night in his farmhouse, 30km out of town. this concerned all of us, not excluding me (since i strongly wanted to be as close to the car, given it was under my name, as possible), but he did assist us by giving a lift to brigid, liz, and sara into rehoboth. sean and i, on the other hand, attempted to drive the car, but the rapidly rising car temperatures freaked us out, and so we opted not to drive it. by that point, however, we had turned on to the B1, and a towtruck came by and brought it to deonam auto repairs, a mechanics' garage in rehoboth.

i think we were all feeling rather upset over the situation at that moment, but i straightened up and began to deal with the issue in my typical organised fashion. i called budget auto rental to report the situation, and they told me that not only would i have to acquire a police report (to which i groaned), but i could not have deonam's mechanics work on the bmw. budget's representative, leanne, who was suprisingly helpful and sympathetic, said that she would send a towtruck with a replacement vehicle. the towtruck driver would then give me paperwork to fill out and haul away the bmw.

leanne told us that she would be sending us an suv with manual transmission, a fact that concerned all of us. none of us are particularly effective stickshift drivers, and the fact that the vehicle was an suv only aggrandised our fears. roberto, the son-in-law of one of the mechanics (not to mention an amazing individual who was instrumental in helping us out throughout the ordeal) volunteered to drive us to windhoek (the site of leanne's office) the next day, but luckily it didn't come to that: leanne telephoned back to inform me that she'd tracked down a toyota yaris with automatic transmission at budget's office at nearby hosea kutako international airport, and she agreed to send us it. during this time, i also got into contact with quinton, our study abroad programme director, and he provided me with instrumental assistance as well.

meanwhile, back at the garage, things had escalated to a full-on braai! the mechanics served us a scrumptious barbeque dinner, much to the delight of all of us. we talked into the late hours about cultural differences, societal change, political climes, our uprbringings, and even more. a truly interesting and fascinating discussion was unfolding, which i was enjoying very much. meanwhile, at the recommendations of roberto, leanne, and quinton we decided to spend the night in the local bed and breakfast, so eventually, brigid, liz, and sara, feeling exhausted (and understandably so!) from the experience, went to the b & b to check our party in.

as for sean and i, we stayed at the garage, since the towtruck was supposed to arrive with the replacement vehicle at 11:00pm. 11:45 came around, and the towtruck still hadn't arrived, so deon (the head mechanic) said that he'd lock up, but we could call him during the night if the towtruck telephoned to say it had arrived in rehoboth. deon then dropped us off at b & b, and although i tried to stay awake waiting for the towtruck, this was to no avail, and eventually i went to bed. not too long after that (at 1:30am to be precise), the proprietor woke me up to tell me that the towtruck had arrived. the towtruck driver was furious that we hadn't been waiting at the garage for him, which we felt was rather ridiculous considering he arrived 2 ½ hours late after a 90km journey. besides, leanne had already sent him an sms to tell him that we'd be waiting for him at the b & b. ergo, sean and i felt no remorse for him (i still gave him a tip of N10, but i think that was more than generous). i called deon to ask him to meet me at the garage, and he sleepily agreed. meanwhile, the driver unloaded the replacement vehicle from his towtruck, and sean and i followed the towtruck in the new car back to the garage... well, almost. the towtruck driver led us to where he thought the garage was (and where he'd been allegedly waiting for us), but it was actually a petrol station that had closed for the evening (this isn't uncommon for namibia, and at any rate, i don't know why he'd think that this was the garage). somehow, i miraculously remembered where the garage was located, so i directed both sean and the towtruck driver to it. there, deon unlocked the garage, the driver loaded the bmw onto his truck, and i got to have some good ol' ballpoint fun filling out form after form after form for budget. i think we finally finished with this charade at 3:00am, at which point i promptly went to bed.

i'd meant to wake up the next morning (the 10th) at 6:00am in order to shower and such (given the b & b only had one men's restroom), but 6 quickly turned into 7 and eventually i dragged myself out of bed. deon was supposed to meet me at the b & b at 7:30 to drop off a copy of the bill (even though we'd already paid him in cash, i wanted a legitimate bill to give to budget), but by 8:15 he hadn't arrived (yet another prime example of africa time), so i made sean come with me to the garage. sure enough, deon was there, and he'd informed me that he'd just arrived but that he overslept. understandable, but i still needed the bill. luckily, he had it for me, and he took me over to rehoboth's police station so i could fill out an accident report. this experience dealing with the local authorities wasn't as bad as the last, although our cop's desire to achieve an award for perfect penmanship severely decelerated the rate at which he filled out our police report. the other cops (most of whom, interestingly enough, were females) were extremely friendly and talkative; sean swears they wanted to marry us, but i'm not sure about that one. finally, we finished at the police station and went back to the b & b, where we enjoyed a delicious homecooked breakfast by the establishment's proprietor.

after breakfast, we checked out of the b & b and set off for windhoek, not only so i could communicate with leanne and give her the police report in person, but also so the 5 of us could establish a game plan of how to get home (since we were due to arrive in cape town that very day). we arrived in windhoek and immediately became amused by the fact that its 2 major streets are named after robert mugabe and fidel castro. as a city, windhoek feels like an awkward mix of new york and los angeles; the pedestrian-friendly structure and tall buildings of the central business district reminded me of lower manhattan, whereas the houses in the surrounding foothills look something like out of a south of ventura neighbourhood. it was certainly not designed to be a tourists' destination, but it nonetheless held a distinct beauty to it.

i digress. we got to the budget office, and while sean and i sat down to chat with leanne, brigid, liz, and sara ducked down garten street to do some transportation research at an internet café. the girls returned soon after to announce that they'd discovered a flight on air namibia at 6:40pm that evening for only N2003 per person. it was definitely a bargain for such an endeavour, but sean and i decided to salvage the opportunity for adventure (as well as our monies) and drive back to cape town from windhoek, starting that afternoon. as a result, we had to extend our reservation with budget by a day, but that plus petrol still amounted to less than the airfare.

before we all left windhoek, however, we partook in one final outing together: to the mall!! as far as malls go, it was pretty unimpressive, but it served as a much-needed bastion of familiarity at that very moment. after that, sean and i dropped the girls off at hosea kutako airport (42km east of the city) and set off on our journey toward cape town. the drive was fairly painless and, as liz put it, good for "male bonding time" (i should qualify for those of you reading this who don't know this cast of characters that sean is, in fact, not gay, but rather liz's boyfriend).

we arrived on the 11th after having spent the night in keetmanshoop. upon re-entering south africa, we came upon customs cat again, much to my delight. :) and upon returning the vehicle to budget's office in newlands, we were delighted to discover that, since i'd maximised our insurance plan before leaving cape town, our liability was only about R5500 (ergo, R1100 each). that's a lot less than it could have been! according to felicity, countless ciee students in the past have failed to heed to her advice on this and have subsequently gotten slammed with well over R15000 in liability fees upon getting into an accident. and it was only after that that i could finally bring myself to relax.

well, that's the bulk of the trip right there. i think i left out a few tidbits here and there about all the animals we saw... including springboks, onyxes, baboons, warthogs, and several varieties of birds, one of whom met an unfortunate fate with our car on the first day of the trip and became lodged behind the car's grill. sean had wanted to extract it using tongs, but hopefully, the mechanics in windhoek will take care of that for us. ;)

at any rate, i can actually say that, in retrospect, i enjoyed the trip. i won't discount the fact that dealing with the accident was (and still is) entirely stressful, and the long car rides were not my preference, either. nevertheless, i saw a lot of the beautiful country that is namibia (as well as the province of northern cape), and i think that i learned a lot about different peoples, different cultures, different landscapes, and most significantly, different experiences. sure, having your car break down on you in rural namibia isn't on anybody's to-do list, but we got extremely lucky in that we turned out to be completely okay, and being able to chat with and shoot the breeze with the mechanics in rehoboth was a truly enlightening experience. :)

i'll try to post photos soon... like i said, my camera is off to jo'burg pretty soon, but i'll find someone else to lend me their camera for uploading purposes (since i've still got the memory card). now, the second half of my semester in cape town is about to commence, and with this past quarter having been so eventful, i can't help but wonder what lies in store for me...

big love

2009-09-04T09:54:00.000+02:00

while leafing through out of my magazines in an effort to find pictures to cut out and post up on my corkboard, i came across an advert for a contest to win a dinner with the first lady. i felt like it should have included a disclaimer along the lines of, "many will enter, four will win."

this week went by quite amenably. i got my grade for my globalisation essay, and i was pleased to find that i'd scored a 78! this constitutes a high A on the south african grading scale. i'm so jazzed so have received such a high mark! :D

i also went out to fat cactus for dinner the night before last with brigid, sara, liz, and sean, and last night, i went to greek with brigid for the first time. both were delicious.

i've just turned in my paper on how south africa's education programmes bolster skills development nationwide (even though they don't), so now i'm officially on spring break. namibia, here we come! :)

i was (almost) mugged!

2009-08-31T22:14:00.000+02:00

yes, the rumours are true: i was nearly mugged on saturday. it was partially my fault: i was walking on an unfamiliar street in a less than reputable neighbourhood, and i'd just had my phone out to send off an sms. a male teenager came up to me asking for money, which, being in a city within the third world, i am used to. however, he was coming up much closer to my face than i'm accustomed to. i eventually vocalised to him that i didn't have any money to give, at which point he grabbed my arm and tried to swipe my belongings off of me. i was not having any of that, so i yelled at him to get off me. he told me to give him my money, at which point i pulled out my canister of pepperspray (which i'd been holding on to in my pocket upon entering the aforementioned lacklustre neighbourhood), sprayed him in the face, and sprinted away. luckily, i made it out of that situation alive, but more importantly, i retained all of my belongings! ;)

to be honest, i was neither terribly alarmed nor shaken up, and i feel like i walked away from the experience having learned a valuable lesson in self-awareness. i had a long talk with agnes over dinner that night on the subject of “self-imposed boundaries,” and we agreed that it was rather imprudent of me to be walking in such areas. i reasoned that i was used to having been able to walk around and explore on my own in dc, to which she retorted that i subconsciously avoid certain areas that i know are unsafe. i suppose that's true; after all, there are certainly plenty of areas surrounding los angeles that i would avoid, too! ;)

other than that, things have been going well for me. i’m looking forward to roadtripping up to namibia this upcoming saturday with brigid, sara, sean, and liz. i think it will be a lot of fun. :) also, apparently, uct is developing a course of study (i’m not sure if this will be an entire major or just a certificate) in canadian studies. obviously, i find this absolutely fascinating! :)

finally, it looks like unfortunately, going to accra after cape town won’t be in the cards for me (due to financial restraints). :( therefore, i’m flying back to los angeles, as planned, on november 20, and i will be returning to dc soon afterward (most likely within a day or two following thanksgiving). of course, there’s the ongoing dilemma of where i’ll live once i get back there... :(

happy 100th blog entry!

2009-08-26T23:42:00.000+02:00

well folks, africa just keeps on getting weirder and weirder. today, while walking down stanley road after lecture, i saw a juvenile gorilla in somebody's front yard. i don't think this is quite normal for cape town, as i saw a few locals standing in front of it in awe. i wonder if somebody's keeping it at a pet. i wish i'd had my camera.

keeping in line with my luck relating to volunteering, i didn't do young in prison yesterday. agnes and i met with the individual in charge of yip's volunteers, and although she does want us to volunteer, there wasn't enough room in the vehicle yesterday to transport us to the prison. she did, however, suggest that we take public transportation to the prison. (agnes and i hastily declined.) the woman did mention a new outreach program that yip is starting up, in which individuals (both volunteers as well as ex-convicts) go into primary schools in less-than-affluent neighborhoods and speak with high-risk students. it sounds like a great opportunity, so i'm looking forward to getting into that.

i met with brigid, liz, sara, and sean for dinner last night to discuss our upcoming spring break plans. our itinerary has changed a bit, and right now it looks like we're spending 2 nights in port nolloth (northern cape, south africa) 2 nights in swakopmund (erongo, namibia), and one final night in either lüderitz (karas, namibia) or sossusvlei (khomas, namibia). obviously, i am most excited about swakopmund, because this is where brangelina's daughter was born!!!

click here to read the super-informative article!!!!

"namibia is one of africa's best kept secrets - until we came of course."
– brad pitt (obviously, my favorite quote ever)

i am also so glad that angelina jolie "discovered" namibia... she's a modern-day christopher columbus!

oh, speaking of amazing quotes, apparently one of my fellow ciee cohorts asked in one of her lectures, "if blacks and coloureds didn't like apartheid so much, why didn't they just vote against it?" facepalm. (i think it's time we leave our little hegemonic bubble, shall we?)

hmm... what else? i went to a lecture today on urban development in africa. it was interesting, although it went on a bit too long. the hors d'oeuvres served afterward were delicious, though. :) i'm also looking to attend an on-campus opera tomorrow evening, as well as a parliamentary debate sometime in the near future. i'm not sure if i'll be able to fit that in before namibia, though. :(

happy 100th blog entry! quite frankly, i'm surprised the number of entries ever got into the double-digits, much less the triple. i know this blog can account for myriad ups and downs in my personal development, but i'm enjoying the tone and style it's taken on in recent months. looking back on my premiere entry, it seems awfully familiar, although i feel very much like a changed man as well. we'll see where it goes from here. ;)

just another day

2009-08-24T14:45:00.000+02:00

after spending the entirety of yesterday working on my globalization paper, i turned it in to the sociology dept. today just as the professor was coming to collect the papers. this is because i had to (a) put money on my id card, (b) wait in line for the computer, (c) wait in line for the printer, and (d) find a stapler. it was rather chaotic, and dare i say, africa-esque.

the good news is that my original tutor* (the one who didn't like me because i'm an american) has mysteriously left his post (read: he got fired), and the new one is actually quite lovely. i'm looking forward to future tutorials* with her. she was quite helpful with regard to our upcoming essay.

(* tutor = south african equivalent of teaching assistant, tutorial = equivalent of discussion section)

i have my urban politics lecture in a few minutes, and there's a rainbow alliance meeting tonight that i'm forcing myself to go to. also, my thursday volunteer opp with young in prison has been cancelled (i'm sensing a trend), so now i'm (supposedly) doing it on tuesdays. frankly, i'm not holding my breath.

i'm off to class now. more as it comes.

meh

2009-08-23T03:33:00.000+02:00

i am feeling rather apathetic and sarcastic right now, but that isn't stopping me from being a total tool and blogging.

this week came and went rather quickly, at the end of which i realized i'm one-third done with my classes here at uct. which isn't really saying a lot. i haven't really done much, and i'm pretty much all caught up on my readings, which i can rarely say when i'm at gwu. i haven't even had to turn in any assignments yet, given my professor decided to postpone the due date of our globalization paper. i'm done with all the research at this point; i just need to sit down and type it all out. i don't think that will be difficult, though, considering i am going to open my paper with a joke:

"knock, knock."
"who's there?"
"everyone, thanks to globalization."

i rule. anyway, sara, brigid, and i went to the castle of good hope today. the dutch east india company built it in the 17th century, so it looks like your typical european castle, but being that this is africa and everything is weird here, its existence in the present day is not what you'd expect from a historical site. like, for example, historial preservation is clearly not a concern of the south african government, except when it comes to history's more notable toilets. as somebody who spends a lion's share of time on the john, i appreciated this, but then i realized that the 14% vat that i pay every time i purchase something is going to financing this great historical preservation project. ugh, i hate taxes.

centuries ago, generals sat in my place and looked over the bountiful city bowl while conducting their morning business. sigh.

the other notoriously weird part about the castle was that one section of its interior has been converted into a working art studio. the three of us stumbled in and discovered a couple of artists working on some paintings, one of which i was particularly fond of, so i bought it. however, that wasn't until after some skillful bartering on my part.

me: "i'll take that one."
artist: "okay, it's 200 rand."
me: "200 rand!? but i only have 50!"
artist: "okay... 150 rand."
me: "yes, but i only have 50 rand."
artist: "okay, 100 rand."
me: "i only have 50 rand."
artist: "...all right, 50 rand."

my bartering skills are totally fetch. after the transaction, brigid and i got sucked into a 40 or 50-minute conversation with the bloke, the first 35 minutes or so of which were quite lovely (he asked us about university, our experiences thus far in south africa, nothing terribly atypical), then out of no where he asked what kind of cars we drive.

me: "i don't have a car."
brigid: "well, back home, i drive a pick-up."
artist: "a truck!? here in south africa, only men drive trucks."
me: "what!? i've seen plenty of women driving buses and taxis*."
artist: "yes, and the women are taking all the jobs away from men!"
me: "...what?"
artist: "they're taking these jobs away from men, and we need to work too!"
me: "well, wouldn't you agree, though, that jobs ought to go to the most qualified individuals, regardless of gender?"
artist: "30 years ago, when a man came home from work, his wife would have dinner ready and would give him a massage before bed. what's happened to our society!?"

* a "taxi", in south african english, refers to a jitney.

obviously, brigid, being a women's studies major at scripps college, was none too pleased by this, so i hastily moved toward the end of the conversation. by that point, it couldn't come soon enough.

by the way, since i know you're curious, here's the painting i bought.

i totally just realized that photo is backwards because i took it on my macbook which automatically reverses the images. epic fail.

...meh. anyway, afterward, we three meandered over to a flea market, where brigid bought a bag, sara bought a (really beautiful) scarf, and i bought a backpack. we then went out to dinner with sean, liz, and agnes to a sushi buffet, which in its very essence is rather sketchy but it was actually not too bad. we got drinks afterward, and we hit up a used book store on lower main road in observatory, in which i bought a book on namibia's history in the 20th century for R50 (also a haggled-down price). apparently, this book store is open until 10pm every night, which i guess is a convenient way of luring the post-dinner crowd into making purchases. the tattoo parlor on the same block, incidentally, is also open until 10pm nightly, which i guess is a convenient way of luring the intoxicated post-happy hour crowd into making purchases of their own.

i've realized that my ex-boyfriend had a hand in destroying my last 2 relationships, so i've decided that, if he does this a 3rd time, i'm smashing his awkwardly pretentious glass coffeetable.

paul wants me to mention him. so, here it is. paul. the end.

i probably have other things to say, but i don't feel like typing them out.

ocean view

2009-08-19T23:31:00.000+02:00

a month has passed since i relocated to this strange new country named south africa, and in that time, i have visited the cape of good hope, gone clubbing on long street, made new friends, and ate a zebra. but none of those experiences have been quite as momentous as this past weekend, which i spent on a homestay in ocean view.

being me, i went in to the experience with a cynical attitude. i'll admit i wasn't too keen on going because (a) agnes, my closest friend here, couldn't go and (b) my work load is heavy this week, so i wanted to spend the weekend doing schoolwork. however, i am so, so, SO glad that the lord brought me to ocean view and met my amazing host family. they are such wonderful people, and i know that i will cherish the memory of having spent a weekend with them for the rest of my life.

for security reasons, i can't post specifics on my blog (such as their names or their pictures), but if you ask me, i can provide you with more details. however, my host family consisted of a woman, her husband, and their 2 children (both boys of junior high school-age). not to sound terribly corny (not to mention out of character), but the stories that they shared with me were phenomenal; the ones that stick out in the mind are the first time they got to watch television (since the national party didn't lift the ban on tv service until 1976) and the first time they got to vote in a presidential election (since coloureds couldn't vote in them until 1994). the woman also took us to a beach in the nearby town of kommetjie, after which she told us (my ciee partner and i), "we used to not be allowed to come to this beach. this beach was for whites." after that, she took us to the former beach for coloureds, which, in this californian's opinion, was a rather shitty beach.

the town of ocean view, if nothing else, can be revered for its strong sense of camaraderie. in the 1970s, when the south african government relocated the region's coloured denizens to ocean view, they struggled to resolve their differences, given their unfamiliarity with each other. nowadays, although ocean view is not without its fair share of social problems, its residents still hang out in the streets and say "howzit" to one another. its setting, within the foothills south of cape town, is absolutely beautiful, ocean view itself struggles with one major issue: litter! the streets, the parks, and the hills are filled with garbage. i don't know what public sanitation services are like, but i saw some official-looking trash cans outside most of the houses, which leads me to believe that they exist, but are under-utilized. (maybe, however, that's merely my american mindset talking, not to mention my high standards for cleanliness.) there were also myriad dogs running around the streets; as the niece of my host mom told me, they're domesticated, but there are some individuals who like to use the dogs for fights. (none of them seemed violent to me, though. not that i condone dogfighting.)

i really enjoyed the fact that my family did not seem to put on any airs around me; that is to say, they felt comfortable enough with me to share details about their lives (both past and present) with me. in turn, not only did i learn about coloureds' role in the apartheid and post-apartheid eras at a micro level, but more broadly speaking, i also learned about the modus operandi of another family. i am happy to say that i feel that i've established a strong bond with my host family, and i hope to see them again in the near future. :)

this week has been flying by rather quickly, it seems. i skipped most of my classes on monday because i was suffering from a rather terrible case of heartburn, and i almost overslept this morning because of my having stayed up really late last night in order to work on my paper for sociology 3029. (it's about varying perspectives on globalization.) tomorrow, i begin my stint as a volunteer with young in prison, an organization that provides "mentors", so to speak, with incarcerated juveniles. i'm a little bit nervous, but i'm trying not to stress about it. (i was supposed to volunteer at an orphanage, but that fell through.) if anything, their attitudes will rival mine in terms of negativity. ;)

this weekend, i'm going with "the gang" to kirstenbosch garden (finally!!!). i might go to robben island as well (although, if the weather doesn't become less shitty, i'll have to nix that one). i got my final exam schedule as well, and like almost every other semester that i've spent in college, it's rather terrible. i have 2 exams at the very end of the exam bloc, with 13 consecutive days of nothing somewhere in there. ergo, i'm contemplating, either during that 13-day period or after my last exam, going to accra to visit denial (who's studying abroad there). i'm curious to see west africa, and i don't know when the next time i'll be in this part of the world will be, so... why not? (i'm having a little bit of trouble figuring out the logistics of such an endeavor, though... traveling throughout africa is quite expensive!)

i live in an anemone

2009-08-14T01:25:00.000+02:00

so, apparently, quinton and felicity (the fearless leaders of ciee, my study abroad program) have been reading my blog, which i find to be quite hilarious considering i have no idea how they found it. i guess this is what happens when you put stuff on the internet. ;)

i've been rereading my blog entries, though, and to be quite honest, i really have no qualms about what i've posted online. there have definitely been entries where i am more whiny and angst-ridden, but it's all a part of my history. i like my more recent blog entries, though (from europe to the present).

(pondering of the day: blogging about blogging = metablogging? hmm...)

life has been going pretty well lately, save for the weather, which i'm sorry to report has been miserable. i'm usually the first person to denote how much i love the rain, but it just seems to be more difficult to take on here. i suppose it's better than washington's current heat index of 105º, though.

last weekend, agnes and i hit up the two oceans aquarium at the waterfront. now, it's no secret that i'm actually a 6-year-old trapped within a 20-year-old's body, but this aquarium was legit awesome. even agnes thought so, and god knows she's much classier than i am! ;)

this is a picture of me within the tunnel in the aquarium of adorable nemo-esque fish... it was definitely awesome! so, to all you capetonians out there, it's definitely worth hitting up if you've got the chance. :)

in a change of pace, this weekend, ciee is taking us out of town to spend a weekend in a homestay. however, this isn't a typical homestay... we're going to ocean view, a city of 30,000 denizens that's only 72 kilometers from cape town, but a world apart. during the apartheid era, ocean view became the site of relocation for coloured people being evicted from their homes in communities deemed by the government as "whites only". nowadays, unfortunately, ocean view struggles with its own socioeconomic disadvantage, not to mention the ensuing social problems. i've been to the townships before (in fact, i went to nyanga on sunday), but it's an entirely different experience to be living with a family in such an environment. i'm already discovering that poverty means something completely different here than it does back in the united states, and while the families we'll be living with won't be quite so destitute, i anticipate that i will see and learn a lot during this experience.

so, in conclusion, if you wish to chat with me this weekend, you can't, because i'll be in ocean view. ;) i'll have my phone, but i probably won't be able to spend much time communicating with everyone. i'm sure i'll have a lot to talk about when i get back, though. ;)

always look on the bright side of life

2009-08-05T23:06:00.000+02:00

i'm happy to report that life has gotten significantly less shitty since the last time i blogged. i dropped the aforementioned "bad friends" and have made a point of only hanging out with cool people. special shout-outs to agnes, liz, sean, brigid, sara, and my darling suitemate jill on this one.

even though i've got a good group of friends going, i'm enjoying spending time by myself a lot more. i think i've made remarks like this in the past, but now that i'm more informed of the layout of my neighborhood, i feel comfortable going out on my own. that being said, it looks like saturday will be spent exploring the city with agnes, and sunday will be for the kirstenbosch gardens with liz, sean, brigid, and sara.

classes have been going well, save for today. in sociology of globalization, all we did is take a student survey; international political economy was spent listening to the tutor (teaching assistant) recapitulate the entirety of what we've already learned; and as for urban politics, we watched a video. however, this ultimately lame day seems to be an anomaly.

i've also made the wonderful discovery of a computer lab located within my residence hall! this is marvelous, considering how much i pay for internet on my laptop. i've been saying all along that the exorbitant prices that i pay for telecommunications far outweigh the cheapness of everything else here; hopefully, now, the tide has turned. ;)

so, all i can say is this: life has been going pretty swimmingly for me over the past few days. oh, i've spent a good amount of time recently planning the roadtrip that liz, sean, brigid, and sara and i are taking for our week-long break in september. here's the itinerary that i typed up for the group (and yes, given my ocd ways, this level of detail is entirely necessary):

∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙

SEPTEMBER 5
Cape Town to Vanrhynsdorp via N7 (308km)
Vanrhynsdorp to Nieuwoudtville via R27 (49km)
Nieuwoudtville to Brandvlei via R357 (185km)
Brandvlei to Keimoes via R27 (216km)
Keimoes to Upington via N14 (46km)
Spend the night at a hostel (which one is TBD) in Upington.

SEPTEMBER 6
Upington to Alheit via N14 (93km)
Alheit to Augrabies Falls National Park via R359 (29km)
Spend the day exploring around Augrabies Falls National Park.
Augrabies Falls National Park to Alheit via R359 (29km)
Alheit to Upington via N14 (93km)
Spend the night in the same hostel as the previous night.

SEPTEMBER 7
Upington to Twee Rivieren via R360 (265km)
Check in to campsite at, spend day exploring, and spend the night at
Kgalagadi Transfrontier National Park

SEPTEMBER 8
Spend day and night at Kgalagadi Transfrontier National Park.

SEPTEMBER 9
Spend day and night at Kgalagadi Transfrontier National Park.
Twee Rivieren to Mata Mata via R360 (115km)
Note: special provisions may apply with regards to passport control
upon exiting via Mata Mata into Namibia; for details, call (054)
561-2000.

SEPTEMBER 10
Mata Mata to Twee Rivier via C15 (56km)
Twee Rivier to Keetmanshoop via C17 (72km)
Keetmanshoop to Seeheim via B4 (46km)
Seeheim to Al-Ais East via C12 (75km), D601 (26km), and D324 (26km)
Al-Ais East to Al-Ais via C10 (16km)
Check in to and spend night at hostel or campsite at Al-Ais Hot Springs.

SEPTEMBER 11
Spend entire day and night at Al-Ais Hot Springs, Fish River Canyon,
and Richtersveld Transfrontier National Park.
Al-Ais to Richtersveld Transfrontier National Park via Sendellingsdrif
Pass (22km)
Note: special provisions may apply with regards to passport control
upon entering South Africa via Sendellingsdrip Pass; for details, call
(027) 831-1506.

SEPTEMBER 12
Richtersveld Transfrontier National Park to Vioolsdrif via
Eksteenfontein Road (110km)
Vioolsdrif to Springbok via N7 (107km)
Springbok to Fonteinjie via R355 (4km)
Visit the Hester Malan Wildflower Reserve in Fonteinjie, located in
the Namakwa Valley.
Fonteinjie to Springbok via R355 (4km)
Springbok to Cape Town via N7 (570km)

∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙

so, as you can see, the big sites we're hitting up are kgalagadi park and al-ais. it seems to contrast the vacation plans of most, who are mostly interested in either hitting up the beaches or the supposedly out-of-control johannesburg nightlife. given my aversions to the beach as well as to most nightlife spots, i much prefer my adventure into northern cape and namibia. :)

i was just asked for the time. i responded, "two 'til eleven" (as opposed to the preferred american expression of "ten fifty eight"). i'm assimilating. ;)

all right, i think that's it for now. more to come.

fear and loathing in stellenbosch

2009-08-02T23:49:00.000+02:00

to be quite frank, i've been growing increasingly depressed with each passing day that i've been here, but i'm proud to say that as of yesterday, i'm "turning a new leaf," as the expression goes, and am entering a new era of contentment with regards to my stay in south africa. unfortunately, however, that means that yesterday, i hit rock bottom.

it was a bad day that just so happened to get so much worse. i went on an excursion with several other american students that was organized by my study abroad program to a wine farm in the town of windmill. as you can guess, everyone made asses of themselves and lived up to american stereotypes by getting totally wasted off the wine samples that were served. unfortunately, though, it gets worse.

this weekend was the stellenbosch wine festival, and ciee (my study abroad program) informed us that we could go into town for the festival, but we'd have to arrange our own transportation home. so, 6 other ciee students and i went in on a shuttle together back to cape town. the shuttle was supposed to leave stellenbosch at 6pm. at 5:45, i received a text from one of the 5 people i wasn't with at the time (i'll hide her name so as not to incriminate her) informing me that the shuttle driver had wanted to leave, and so they were already ON THE ROAD back to cape town.

all of this means, then, that agnes (the friend of mine who i had been exploring the festival with) and i were stranded in a town an hour's drive from home, in a foreign country, at dusk, surrounded by highly intoxicated people. it was miserable. i called his "friend" of mine who was on the shuttle, and she told me that she was "sure" we could find a way home – even though we'd already paid the shuttle service to take us back to cape town. she also said she'd tried to call me, which i'm skeptical of because my phone didn't say i had any missed calls.

in essence, these people, who i thought were my friends, ditched agnes and i in a foreign environment. unbelieveable! to make matters worse, none of the 5 contacted us for the rest of the day to see if we were okay or had made it back to cape town. in all honesty, the whole ordeal proved that these 5 individuals completely lacked any concern for agnes's or my well-being, and as an individual who places an extremely high value on my friendships, i found this absolutely devastating.

agnes and i got fortunate. we somehow found the director of the festival, who got one of her employees to drive us back to cape town. it could have been a lot worse, but we were blessed enough to have been able to take advantage of a safe opportunity. agnes and i were truly lucky to get home.

upon returning home, i had an extended period of self-reflection, during which i pondered the significance of my social connections, not to mention the meaning of friendship in itself. in the end, i've decided that i am too self-respecting and too driven by my own independent inclinations to let this go by. i ran into 2 of the 5 girls today while i was out in rondebosch, and they apologized, but honestly, i don't think they realized the gravity of the effect they had on me (not only leaving agnes and me at the festival, but more significantly, showing a complete lack of concern for our well-being). that all being said, i've decided to make some plans to my way of life while living here in south africa:

- not allow myself to become susceptible to the actions or plans of others, especially when they're not in my own interest. i need to be my own person and realize what's right for me. (i feel like this is a recurring problem in my life.)
- become more confident in my own independence. this study abroad program has, so far, felt like freshman year all over again, in which there is the mad rush to make friends so you're not alone. that, however, is not how true friendships are formulated.
- make a point of only spending time with individuals who i actually want to be around. this includes agnes (of course), jill (my lovely suitemate), liz, sean, brigid, and sara. (i'm sorry to say that i haven't spent nearly enough time with those last 4 individuals; that has got to change.)
- devote more of my time to my studies. in the past week or so, i've felt pretty down, so i've been watching way too much television. this is a trend that must be curtailed immediately; after all, my reason for being here is to study.
- make a point to enjoy myself. after all, i've only got 16 weeks left here. i've got to make each of them count.

today, i woke up a new man. i cut my losses, got dressed, and went to church with liz. afterward, i stopped by pic-n-pay (where i bought really cute notebooks whose covers are written in afrikaans!), came home, and studied. in the evening, i went over to liz's place, where the 5 of us discussed our travel plans for michaelmas break. (right now, we're planning on going to kgalagadi park as well as namibia.)

another week is about to commence, and i'm feeling more hopeful then ever before. like i said, my time here is extremely limited, and it's up to me, and only me, to achieve the most enjoyable experience possible. :)

out of america

2009-07-29T23:49:00.000+02:00

i am happy to report that i am finally starting to feel more at home in this brave new world called africa. today marks the second time this week that i walked home by myself from pic-n-pay (a supermarket), and although i'm not quite sure what kind of distance that is, i can assure you that i am feeling increasingly comfortable taking the route at a leisurely pace. the area of town in which i reside is actually quite nice... during the apartheid era, it was strictly for white residents only, but now the community has diversified into a black and coloured supermajority. that, of course, doesn't mean it's a bad area: in fact, on my way home from pic-n-pay, i pass a few churches, a local theatre, a playground (there's always children hogging the swings, though, gosh darn it!), and a day care (called a "kindergarten" here). i marvel at the thought of what my neighborhood must have been like just 15 years ago, when it was for "whites only" until apartheid fell and brought about an era of integration...

the university of cape town's student body is, at a glance, self-segregating. whites hang out with whites, blacks hang out with blacks, coloured hang out with coloured, and asians hang out with asians (i'm not trying to be incorrect with any of those terms: those were the words that the apartheid government adopted to describe south africa's denizens, and those are the words by which south africans continue to describe themselves today). from what i've seen so far, in south africa, race is the number one aspect of your identity. it dictates who your friends are, what your political views are (blacks overwhelmingly support the anc party, whereas coloureds and whites overwhelmingly support the democratic alliance), which language you speak, how you live your life, etc. even though apartheid fell 15 years ago, artifacts and remnants linger, even in a socially progressive institution such as uct.

that isn't to say, of course, that members of the races don't intermingle. the other day, i saw an interracial couple holding hands, and it made me smile. :) if such a couple had done that the year i was born, they would have been swiftly arrested (especially the male, who, in this case, was coloured). nevertheless, the mindset of race composing the better part of one's identity lingers. i wonder if the south african students here merely act this way as a result of their respective upbringings: since all of their parents lived through the apartheid era, then surely there must be some feelings and even resentments that they still harbor toward other racial groups. or, perhaps, this phenomenon is more engrained within south african society itself; that is to say, institutions comprising south african culture dictate that race be the key to one's identity. then again, it could be something else altogether.

it is possible, of course, that these individuals harbor phobias toward anybody different from them altogether. even though americans make up a considerable portion (8%, i believe) of the university's student population, my fellow students nevertheless seem automatically disapproving of americans sheerly based on grounds of nation or origin. i'm aware of recent xenophobia-induced bouts of violence within recent years throughout the republic, but i thought that south africans' reaction to incoming mozambicans, zimbabweans, etc. was a reaction similar to americans' reactions to incoming mexicans and haitians ("they took our jobs!"). however, after overhearing disparaging comments by south african students regarding americans, i know that this is not the case. perhaps, however, there is an underlying, subconscious institution of south african society which makes out foreigners to be dislikeable. after all, south africa was rather isolated for many years during the apartheid era due to other countries' disapproval, and so it's reasonable to suggest that south africans became "fearful of the unknown" (that is, mistrusting of non-south africans). this is not to say, however, that this perspective is unanimous throughout the entirety of south africa's populace, nor is it to suggest that these feelings of resentment toward outsiders; countries, by their very nature, breed certain basic ideologies into their denizens, and perhaps this is the one that the institution known as the republic of south africa breeds into south africans.

obviously, the united states is more than guilty of doing this as well, which provides me with a fantastic segway into my next topic of verbiage: my classes. i began classes on monday, and already i'm witnessing the vast differences between american and south african (or, more generally, non-american) education. at gwu, whether my professors have been liberal or conservative, all of them have nonetheless retained, more or less, a pro-america attitude. here, however, that is certainly not the case. in my classes here, the united states is seen as one of several global superpowers (along with the european union, china, and russia) attempting to capture a clear majority of the world economy; therefore, the united states is a country who we should keep an eye on. it has definitely been a culture shock for me to hear of my native country in such a way, but after some self-reflection, i am thankful for this experience as it helps me become a truly global citizen.

speaking of which, my classes are as follows:
- sociology of industrialization and globalization
- international political economy
- urban politics and administration

while i don't think any of the 3 will be terribly difficult for me to contend with, the different vantage point from which i will study politics and society ought to prove challenging enough. and after a few days of feeling homesick and mopey, i feel equipped to take on the challenge. sure, south africa is a weird place with a lot of bugs, but there are a lot of great experiences to be had that i've only begun to dip my feet in to. and if i'm already feeling comfortable to take the 20-minute walk home from pic-n-pay by myself, groceries in tow, i wonder how adept i will be come november. so, i say this: bring it on! :)

reflections on orientation

2009-07-26T18:12:00.000+02:00

it's been tough finding the time to simply sit down and write... i keep on wanting to pen out a long, detailed recount of what i've been up to, but i think that will best be kept for views of the pictures i've posted on facebook.

south africa has been, by far, the most unique experience of mine, ever. uct international students' orientation came and went, which proved to be rather frustrating on account of the university's lack of dependence on computers. that's right, i went through the same registration process your grandparents did, long lines and all. i guess that, if nothing else, being here been a serious lesson in patience. between the aforementioned registration, waiting forever to catch the shuttle to/from campus (uct is way too mountainous to tackle on foot on an everyday basis!), and having to take cabs everywhere when going out at night (since it's too dangerous to walk or take public transportation at night), cape town has required every iota of my patience... which, to be fair, there wasn't a lot of in the first place. being here by myself (no friends or family to be found) makes it all the more difficult.

that all being said, i'm nonetheless having a wonderful time here. one week ago today, my fellow international students and i went down the peninsula, during which we visited a colony of jackass penguins (so cute!!!!) as well as table mountain national park, including cape point and the cape of good hope. in essence, they're 2 severely steep cliffs at extreme southwestern africa, but they're amazing! i dangled my feet off the cliff at cape point, and it was the most nervewracking experience i could've imagined. i'm glad i did, though... it was invigorating as well!

my day-to-day life has gone by increasingly well, save for the couple of days at the tail end of this past week in which i was sick (it was either the zebra i ate, or my combined stress and exhaustion). i'm finally starting to get a feel for the lay of the land, and i actually felt comfortable enough today walking around the neighborhood for a bit after church. it's a relatively safe area, but as in all of cape town, you've got to remain on your guard. indeed, i'm not in thousand oaks anymore. my residence hall (liesbeek gardens) is actually a little off from the main campus, in a neighborhood ("suburb") named mowbray. i can get to the main campus (in rondebosch) via uct shuttle ("jammie") or a 20-30 minute walk (in the daytime, of course). my dorm is different than the ones found in america: we've basically got no common space, just a hallway, leading into a kitchen, 2 separate bathrooms, and 4 separate bedrooms (which are considerably large... including mine! not only is it bigger than my room at home, but i've got access to our suite's balcony as well!). it's a tad shabby in parts, but otherwise posh for student housing.

more so than anything else, my experience in south africa thus far merely feels like a redo of freshman year, in which there is the shuffle to find friends out of fear of being alone, so you latch on to anybody you can. i guess that, just like at gwu, it will take me a little longer to discover who my true friends are. luckily, i have the knowledge of having already done freshman year as the ace up my sleeve, so my plan is that, until i can figure that out, i'm just going to soak in south african culture and society as much as i can. if nothing else, this place is beautiful!!

that's it for now. i start classes tomorrow, so this will be an early night for me. just a couple more things before i go off:
1. i got an internship! it's with this pro-free market ngo named the enterprise forum. after corresponding via e-mail with one of their individuals (garreth), i finally met with him on wednesday, and later on he e-mailed me to ask if i'd be his intern. i am so excited to be part of this worthy cause down here in south africa!
2. i bought a diesel knockoff watch yesterday at a street fair for 80 rand (about $11). sadly, it's already broken. :(
3. also yesterday, i went to check out the district six museum, which is a museum about apartheid history. while the museum as an institution in itself wasn't entirely impressive, i'm glad i went, because i certainly learned a lot about apartheid and the historical implications of the zone entitled "district six".

cape town

2009-07-17T17:21:00.001+02:00

i'm not quite sure what to make of my new country of residence.

actually, it's quite beautiful here. i arrived 2 days ago and immediately fell in love with south africa's landscape. how could one not? every view that i catch of the city, of the harbour, or of table mountain is even more beautiful than every photo i've ever looked at of them.

that being said, this is our 3rd day here, and i'm really anxious to do things on my own. i have spent basically every waking minute with the same horde of several dozen american students, and it's a bit frustrating not being able to do things on my own (or, rather, in much smaller groups). my primary reason for this is because traveling around in such a large group seems to aggrandize the fact that we're loud, twentysomething, moderately wealthy americans. i'm ready to blend in and learn new things, because frankly, this feels like freshman year all over again.

despite my objections to the status quo, i really am having a wonderful time here in cape town. the day of my arrival was largely spent in the hotel that we all are staying in, meeting one another and commiserating over our long flights. those of us who wanted to also obtained our local mobile phones. some individuals exchanged money as well.

that evening felt a little awkward, but was interesting as well. what i mean by that is that we went out to dinner in groups of roughly a dozen -- still too large for my taste, but more manageable than the aforementioned innumerable number. we each went with one "sol-mate", or student orientation leader. we hit up a delicious chicken joint, but being all together like that, with only one individual (our sol-mate, joe, who is from east london) knowing how to act within the morés of cape town, felt very graceless to me.

that being said, that evening was the first time that we really got a feel for cape town, as our tourbuses dropped us off on long street (the main thoroughfare downtown) and each group went off on their own. we did some walking, and the definition of "developing world" became crystal clear for me. there is so much construction throughout this city that everywhere you look, you see a crane or a fence, and there are plenty of remarkable feats of construction, including beaucoup highways and skyscrapers. however, as we were leaving the restaurant, there were a few young boys following us for a few blocks, begging us for money. it was very sad, but we knew not to give them money (we're not assholes, i swear. we're all committed to volunteering in our time here. that's how we plan on helping south africa's population while here.). that all being said, it was something i'm going to have to get used to.

yesterday was also spent almost entirely indoors, which i abhorred as much i had the day before. most of the day was spent enduring talks on health and safety, but logistics were discussed as well. we also found out that we all got our first choice for housing (that is, whether we wanted to live in on-campus dorms, in off-campus apartments with other americans, or in home stays). that's when the personalities of my fellow americans, who i'd spent the past 36 grueling hours with, became quite clear. it seems to me that those living on campus (such as myself) are more laid back and seeking an authentic experience, whereas those living in the apartments are more of a partying sort. (those doing home stays simply seem antisocial.) at any rate, i'm super excited to live on campus.

last night, we hit up an amazing club downtown with a 37th story panoramic view of the city. it was breathtaking (sadly, i forgot my camera). however, some of my fellow americans managed to perpetuate negative stereotypes by getting unnecessarily wasted and (in the case of one, as i found out this morning) insulting a local, throwing up in a cab, and being too hung over to come to today's activities. the director of our program was pissed (as well he should!), especially after having given the health and safety lecture only yesterday. today, however, was spent more outside, as we finally got to go see the university of cape town. we walked around it, and while it's more beautiful than the pictures, it's also incredibly steep. however, the views on the upper campus are breathtaking! i don't know how i'm going to get any work done! ;)

unfortunately, we had to spend most of today in a lecture hall learning about school-related logistics (e.g., registration), but tomorrow, we'll be moving in to our residences, which i'm so excited for. i can't wait to meet whomever i'm living with! :)

all in all, i'm having a fabulous experience here, and i know i've only just begun to immerse myself in cape town's modus operandi. however, i already know that "is it?" is a local expression for "really?" and that what i'd been told is true: south africans LOVE talking about politics. nonetheless, each south african i've met has been exceedingly friendly, and i'm SO excited to be here.

africa, baby!! ;)

p.s. the internet here is terrible. :(

yawn from london

2009-07-14T15:37:00.000+02:00

i made it to london. unfortunately, i couldn't get any sleep on the flight over, so in combination with my anxiety-induced insomnia this totals 6 hours of sleep over the past 3 days. i can hardly keep my eyes open at this point.

i'm at a starbucks across from the british museum. i realized that when i went to log in to my gmail, it was actually google mail. this is why that is.

after i'm done with this, i'm gonna go tool around the museum for a bit, then i'm gonna meet up with the fabulous michèle san pedro for an hour before i have to get back to heathrow. speaking of which, here is the status page for that flight.

tomorrow, i'll be in africa!! :D

number of english pigeons that have attacked me today: 3

i left my heart in san francisco (and other somewhat interesting things that i've been up to)

2009-07-11T23:07:00.000+02:00

it’s been a while since i’ve provided an update on my life, so i’ll do my best to recap the past 6ish weeks of my life in one succinct blog entry.

the rest of the institute for humane studies seminar went wonderfully. i am so thankful that i was able to go. not only did i learn far more than i could have ever anticipated, but i also experienced a reformation – or, rather, a refinement – in my personal views. what a blessing it was for me to be surrounded by intellectual, like-minded peers of mine and nonetheless be able to learn from all of them. the lecturers, moreover, were nothing short of amazing individuals in their own right. james taylor (of the philosophy department at tcnj) delivered an extremely moving lecture advocating the introduction of a free market for human organs. we were also treated to a lecture on the current financial crisis by john allison, formerly the president of bbt bank. i kept on thinking to myself, “wow... this is a man who needs to run for the presidency!”

spending time with my peers also proved to be time wonderfully spent. at first, there was definitely a problem with egos flying, and certain individuals strived to prove themselves as more intelligent – or, perhaps, more “correct” in their views – than others. consequently, i adhered to my regular life pattern of hanging out with the older people: in this case, the ihs staff members (particularly the darling sarah holliday). however, it only took a day or two for individuals’ “bullshit detectors” to start going off, and individuals who persisted in their attitudes seemed to become less respected by the conference at large. by the end, i think that we all (or, at least, most of us) came to listen to and to respect one another, a phenomenon that i very much enjoyed.

i did have encounter one unnerving issue while in winston-salem, however. as i believe i’ve articulated in the past, at&t (my mobile provider) provides wretched service throughout the entirety of north carolina, and winston-salem was no exception. on june 2 (our “free” day), i had made plans to have dinner with keely, a friend of mine from back in thousand oaks. before dinner, however, i decided to go on a targét spree with lara and kelley, two fabulous girls from rhodes college who i met at ihs. unfortunately, en route to targét, kelley’s car broke down, leaving us stranded on the shoulder of business 40 for a couple of hours. by the time we got back to wake forest’s campus (where i at least got some semblance of reception), a few hours after i’d told keely i’d meet her, i discovered that she’d called several dozen times, panicked that i’d disappeared or been abducted or something. this was because i’d posted on my twitter that i was going “downtown,” which is known for being rather sketchy. i wouldn’t have felt as bad if this hadn’t happened to keely’s brother kenny a few years ago. yeah... talk about feeling like a terrible person. :(

moral of the story: when i get back from south africa, i’m switching to verizon. ;)

anyway, as fast as ihs came, it ended, and afterward, it was off to washington, dc, not only to take care of some business at gwu, but to spend time with my amazing friends up there as well. unfortunately, my time spent at gwu was rather fruitless, as i was unable to obtain credit for having participated in ihs, as i’d hoped i’d be able to. however, i’m so glad that i was able to spend time with my friends; they are all such blessings to have in my life, and i am sad to be apart from them until late november. anyway, while up in the district, i visited both theodore roosevelt island and rock creek cemetery, the latter of which made for a relaxing day for writing “thank you cards” to the ihs lecturers and staff members; unfortunately, however, i had problems finding the gate to exit at the end of my time there... consequently, i was ½ hour late in meeting girl-jo for dinner. boo hoo! :(

after dc, i flew back to california, where it took me less than three days to become absolutely bored and miserable. luckily, that weekend (the weekend of june 13), boy-joe was going to san francisco for a wedding, so i decided to meet him there. i was all set to drive there, and i even fixed up my brother’s car so i could take it up there, but in the end, my parents proved to be too difficult to deal with vis-à-vis parking in san francisco – i wanted to park at a bart station and take the train in ($4/day), but they didn’t want me leaving the car so far away, so they told me that i had to park at the hotel ($30/day) or no dice – so i would up calling in a favor from flight attendant boy, who put me on stand-by for united’s lax-sfo route. not only did i get on the flights that i wanted to, but i got to fly first class both ways – very nice!! not too shabby for michael! ;)

so, in the end, i only paid $75 for travel, which was far cheaper than if i’d driven.

san francisco itself was great. joe once again proved himself to be a stellar travel partner and an all-around amazing guy. we got to do a lot of great things together, including check out the newly renovated academy of sciences (including their jackass penguins exhibit – so cute!!), take a boat out to alcatraz, get a driving tour of the city courtesy of his awesome friend michael, and hit up some pretty rad bookstores. i also got to see both rini and a. potischman while there, which was great, as well as meet some of joe’s friends from his undergraduate at uc berkeley. the weekend proved itself to be a great way to get away from ventura county for a while, to see the city (which i hadn’t really seen much of in the past), and to spend time with boy-joe. :)

with the exception of the two days following san francisco, life returned to its expected level of boring upon returning to ventura county. the day that i arrived back in los angeles (june 17), jeffrey had his concert at disney hall downtown, and the day after was his graduation from high school. (in fact, as i write, he’s at cal state long beach for freshman orientation – i can’t believe it’s already here!) life back at home, of course, has been boring, with precious few events (such as coffee runs with friends and the like) to shake up the tedium; however, i’ll admit it’s been nice not to have to worry about other issues while getting ready for south africa (or, even worse, try to cram all preparations in to a smaller time frame). however, as you can imagine, i’m very much looking forward to settling permanently in washington upon my return to the united states in late november.

on that note, i’m feeling a little better about both the direction that my life is going and the decisions i’ve made in the recent past. not thrilled, but i think i’m further ahead on my life than my peers. as it turns out, the requirements for my public policy concentration have changed, so now it will be easier for me to complete my curriculum. (the most noteworthy change is that i can now take psc 101 in place of psc 104, which is only offered roughly once every 4 semesters, including the one during which i’ll be in cape town.) and as for expensive flights to places i don’t want to go to anyway (read: home), i’m absolutely resolute in this time about avoiding that in the future. after all, as my dad said, my career is taking off, and long absences from washington, such as this one, will do naught but serve as a hindrance to me in the future. moreover, i spent most of yesterday boxing most of my possessions (e.g., the ones not accompanying me to cape town) so i can easily send them off to my new home in the washington area upon my return to the united states.

as a result, my room is largely empty now, and most of what’s left is what needs to go in to the suitcase for transport to cape town. i can’t believe that, after today, i have only got one full day residing in the united states before i immigrate (er... temporarily, at least) to south africa. i can’t believe it’s finally happening. after years of dreaming about this, as well as months of preparing for this, on monday (the day after tomorrow), i will officially be en route to my new home in the republic of south africa. it seems absolutely surreal; it hasn’t even completely hit me yet that i won’t be back at gwu for a long while! after all, i continue to make these plans for after my return to the united states, but i’ve hardly taken the time to realize the momentous nature of what i’m about to undertake, before my return to the united states. i guess, of course, that this is what blogs are for. ;)

on that note, i’m not sure how easily i will be able to publish blog posts during my tenure in south africa, but i hope to be able to do so as frequently as possible... even if this does mean extremely short posts. this also might be my last blog post before my departure, save for something incredibly interesting happening beforehand.

wow... i’m moving to south africa. :D

(oh, and one more thing: this morning, i went out with dad and his friend cortney to dim sum down in chinatown. delicious!!)

something about being in the south has made me extremely wistful for rhett butler

2009-06-01T20:28:00.000+02:00

we were both young when i first saw you
i close my eyes
and the flashback starts
i'm standing there
on a balcony in summer air

see the lights
see the party, the ball gowns
see you make your way through the crowd
and say hello, little did i know

that you were romeo, you were throwing pebbles
and my daddy said stay away from juliet
and i was crying on the staircase
begging you please don't go, and i said...

romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
i'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run
you'll be the prince and i'll be the princess
it's a love story, baby... just say yes

so i sneak out to the garden to see you
we keep quiet cause we're dead if they knew
so close your eyes
escape this town for a little while

cause you were romeo, i was a scarlet letter
and my daddy said stay away from juliet
but you were everything of me
i was begging you please don't go and i said...

romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
i'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run
you'll be the prince and i'll be the princess
it's a love story, baby... just say yes

romeo save me, they’re tryin’ to tell me how to feel
this love is difficult, but it's real
don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess
it's a love story, baby... just say yes
oh, oh...

i got tired of waiting
wondering if you were ever coming around
my faith in you is fading
when i met you on the outskirts of town, and i said...

romeo, save me, i've been feeling so alone
i keep waiting for you but you never come
is this in my head? i don't know what to think
he knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring

and said, marry me juliet
you'll never have to be alone
i love you and that's all i really know
i talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress
it's a love story, baby... just say yes

oh, oh...
oh, oh...

…cause we were both young when i first saw you.

greetings from winston-salem!

2009-05-31T07:23:00.000+02:00

i am FINALLY at an ihs seminar.

in an effort to maximize my time with brittney, she, her boyfriend, and i made a pact to stay awake for something like 2 days straight. that worked out well until early this morning, when we couldn't even keep our eyes open, so we went to bed at 4:30 am with very intention of waking up an hour from then.

at 9:30 am, spider (brittney's boyfriend) ran into my room freaking out over my train, which had left the raleigh station hours before. nope, not even close to what time i needed to wake up. we three all just overslept, through our alarms and all.

brittney stepped up to the plate by being an AMAZING friend and drove me all the way to winston-salem from raleigh. i think this makes me forever in her debt. ;)

so, now i'm at the ihs seminar. it's all right, i guess. the subject matter of the lectures is interesting, and wake forest university is a gorgeous institution, but i still feel a tad uneasy around my fellow student. however, i came all this way, so i'm keeping an open mind.

speaking of which, i've realized that i seldom take the "easy" path in life; i much prefer the "difficult" one. however, i've decided that i am more than okay with this. i may have chosen a difficult major at a school that's burying me in debt, but honestly, how boring would life be if i always opted for the easy choice? a lack of challenge would be, simply put, dull. my life as i know it will be much more interesting for me to watch on the videotape in heaven than one had it been easy. :P

i guess i'm going to try to get some sleep. my first lecture is at 9 am tomorrow, and i'm terrified of sleeping in too late. :( more on the ihs seminar as it comes.

if i could start again, a million miles away, i would keep myself, i would find a way

2009-05-29T12:13:00.001+02:00

i'm currently torn between lamenting my poorly made decisions within the recent past (most of which stemmed from me being overly wound up and bitchy) and throwing my hands into the air in resignation.

specifically speaking, what i should have done this summer is skipped my cousin's bar mitzvah and the no doubt concert in bakersfield, postponed my jury duty until june, lived in that apartment in arlington with paul until after the ihs seminar, taken the train to winston-salem to attend the ihs seminar, and not go back to california until mid-june.

however, i was not able to do this because:

i'd already promised my family i'd attend my cousin's bar mitzvah
i'd already bought the tickets to the concert in bakersfield
i didn't know i could postpone my jury duty any further
i didn't think i'd be able to afford living in paul's apartment (even though money's way worse for me right now because of not having a job)
i didn't want my family getting upset with me

these are all stupid reasons that demonstrate my lack of research where it was necessary, but it is what it is. currently, i'm conflicted between dwelling on these and trying to move on from all this. i'm going to south africa soon... i want to put all of this behind me. unfortunately, however, i can't.

that all being said, north carolina is great. i am having a fab time with brittney. it's too bad my mind is so preoccupied, though. oh well... we nonetheless managed to go out tonight and went to this gay club. definitely the lamest club i've ever been to. the music was nothing i'd even ever heard (even on 80s night! ugh), there was a serious lack of people, and the people who were there were either straight or 50. gross.

tomorrow, we're (hopefully) going to the natural sciences museum, then we're partying it up for her boyfriend's birthday. i love how popular i am in north carolina! ;)

i'm a geek

2009-05-26T07:30:00.000+02:00

as a result of my escalating concern over my parents' belief that i am going to south carolina tomorrow, i spent a good portion of today writing them this e-mail. i was so proud of myself for having written it that i am now passing it on to you, my faithful blog reader.

∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙

Hi Mom and Dad. Here is a recapitulation about my upcoming trip to North Carolina.

May 26

Transportation to LAX Airport: Dad is driving me in the morning. We're leaving the house at 10:30 am.
Delta Airlines 152: Leaves LAX at 12:55 pm. Arrives at ATL at 8:21 pm.
Delta Airlines 1612: Leaves ATL at 9:24 pm. Arrives at RDU at 10:54 pm.
Transportation from RDU Airport: Brittney is picking me up and driving me to her house, where I am staying.
Brittney's address: □□□□□□□□□□, Cary, NC 27513
Brittney's phone number: (□□□) □□□-□□□□

May 27

Spent with Brittney; staying at her house.

May 28

Spent with Brittney; staying at her house.

May 29

Spent with Brittney; staying at her house.

May 30

Transportation to Raleigh Amtrak station: Provided by Brittney.
Amtrak - Piedmont Line #73: Leaves Raleigh station at 6:50 am. Arrives at High Point station at 8:40 am.
Amtrak - Thruway Bus Line #6073: Leaves High Point station at 9:15 am. Arrives at Winston-Salem Transit Center station at 9:45 am.
Winston Salem City Bus #5 (Outbound): Leaves Transit Center at 10:00 am. Arrives at Wake Forest University at 10:25 am.
Check in for IHS Seminar from 1:00 pm - 2:45 pm.
IHS Seminar: Wake Forest University, Luter Hall, 1834 Wake Forest Rd., Winston-Salem, NC 27106
Contact person: Kyle McNeel (seminar director)
Contact phone number: (□□□) □□□-□□□□ (for non-emergencies); (□□□) □□□-□□□□ (for emergencies)

May 31

IHS Seminar; staying in Luter Hall at Wake Forest University.

June 1

IHS Seminar; staying in Luter Hall at Wake Forest University.

June 2

IHS Seminar; staying in Luter Hall at Wake Forest University.

June 3

IHS Seminar; staying in Luter Hall at Wake Forest University.

June 4

IHS Seminar; staying in Luter Hall at Wake Forest University.

June 5

Transportation from Winston-Salem to DC: Via private car, driven by Neal Rivera.
Neal's phone number: (□□□) □□□-□□□□
Accomodations in DC: Staying with Joe Henchman.
Joe's address: □□□□□□□□□□, Arlington, VA 22201
Joe's phone number: (□□□) □□□-□□□□

June 6

Spent with Joe; staying at his house.

June 7

Spent with Joe; staying at his house.

June 8

Spent with Joe; staying at his house.

June 9

Spent with Joe; staying at his house.

June 10

Transportation to DCA Airport: Washington metro.
Delta Airlines 8996: Leaves DCA at 9:15 am. Arrives at LAX at 11:48 am.
LAX Flyaway Bus - Union Station Route: Leaves LAX at 12:30 pm. Arrives at Union Station at 1:00 pm.
Metrolink - Ventura County Line #109: Leaves Union Station at 1:10 pm. Arrives at Moorpark station at 2:20 pm.

∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙

that managed to kill a lot of time today. also, i created my flight dossier, which you can view by clicking here. (i think that all i've got missing is a few flights from when i was a kid, as well as my seat assignments for some of my earliest flights. i did, however, research the types of airplanes used for each of my flights, and this information is included in my dossier.)

all in all, a very geeky day.

jury duty and no doubt

2009-05-24T07:24:00.000+02:00

i've been meaning to write for a while, but i've actually been busy... quite a feat for me as i am currently in ventura county! however, last week was chock full with doctor's appointments (for vaccinations), visa application paperwork madness, reading for the impending ihs seminar, and (the least common of these) hanging out with old friends. i'm quite proud of myself for staying so busy, and in fact i wish i had a little more time to relax and get stuff done before i leave for north carolina on tuesday.

speaking of which, here's a more comprehensive list of my upcoming schedule:

may 26 → to cary, nc to spend some time with brittney
may 30 → to winston-salem, nc for the ihs seminar
june 5 → to washington, dc to spend time with my friends up there
june 10 → back to thousand oaks, ca
july 13 → to cape town, south africa (arriving july 15)

if you're in the raleigh or the washington area while i am, hit me up and we'll hang out. :)

anyway, since arriving back in california, in addition to all the aforementioned activities, i attended the bar mitzvah of one of my cousins, as well as jury duty and a no doubt concert. the former was actually fun and turned into me spending the entire weekend down in long beach. my family is totally crazy, and i think i am going to write a book about them all some day. but, that's what makes them (us?) amazing. :)

jury duty was, well, jury duty. i probably would have been more willing to serve if i didn't have my impending north carolina trip, doctor's appointments, and a job interview (which fell through anyway, so don't even ask). people are interesting with regards to what lengths they'll go to in order to escape getting placed on a jury ("your honor, i have a list of reasons why i shouldn't be on a jury. want to hear them?" "yes." "uhh...").

the no doubt concert, in contrast, was AWESOME. bakersfield (where we went for the concert) is still a shithole, and they didn't come on until over 2 hours after the concert after the concert began (thanks to the 2 opening bands and technical delays), but once they did get going they kicked ass. they are so amazing to watch live. gwen is so energetic and interacted with us (the audience) so well. she even ran out into the audience at one point... i nearly died of excitement! my only complaint is she didn't perform any of her "rare" songs (you're so foxy being my favorite of these), but i guess that's to be expected at a comeback concert like this one.

in the near future (that is, before tuesday), i need to not only finish up/submit my visa application, but finish my reading for ihs as well. i'm gonna make an ass of myself there. i feel like such a retard. :(

nevertheless, for now, being home is withstandable (and, dare i say, enjoyable), and i've still got a few more days before i leave for raleigh in order to accomplish all of this. i need not to procrastinate, though, which for me might be asking for the stars. ;)

bed.

come fly with me

2009-05-16T07:33:00.002+02:00

i realized today that, in the past year, i lost roughly $350 to the airlines due to my not purchasing my flight reservations for the correct dates, then having to purchase new reservations due to certain airlines' lameass rules preventing refunds. that doesn't even count the time i had to buy a last-minute ticket from dc to california that time i missed my flight. in other words, my finances are a mess, and i'm afraid it's all my fault.

that all being said, i arrived back in california today. hopefully, i can save some money by not having to spend it on 2 months' rent, thus "recovering my losses" vis-à-vis the aforementioned flight travesties. actually, however, i'm enjoying myself so far... i know, i've only been here for a few hours, but hey, i'm usually sick of it by now. looking at my schedule, i'm due to be really busy while i'm here, which will be nice with regards to giving my life a sense of purpose. i have an interview at a temp agency on tuesday, too, so hopefully if they can give me some assignments i can make some dough in that way.

i've come to the conclusion that, even though i don't like actually flying in practice, i like the concept of flying. i realize this a very white thing of me to do, but it makes me feel important. ;) i mean, if i didn't go to school so far away that i had to fly, i'd probably still be flying as seldom as i did before college. instead, i feel all businessman-like and awesome! :)

speaking of which, on may 26, i'm flying to raleigh to spend a few days there with jack before i go on to the ihs seminar in fabulous winston-salem (that's sarcasm... they sent us a "list" of things to do and there were all of 2 bullet points). afterward, i'm hitching a ride up to dc, where i'll get to see everybody for a few blessèd days before i take my 5-month leave of absence from the national capital area. now that's gonna be weird.

so, as you can tell, this all involves a lot more flying for me. i'm not enthralled that this is where all my money seems to go, but what else can i do? i'm currently bicoastal, and i can't seem to escape that until i'm through with my undergrad.

my flights (baltimore to burbank via phoenix) today were okay. southwest is a weird airline.

anyway, my 20th birthday was fabulous. thanks to all for the great birthday wishes. on wednesday (my actual birthday), i went to black cat with joanna and saw the thermals. definitely a great show. at the end, i shook the bassist's hand and told her that i loved her, and she told me that she loves me back! yay! ♥ yesterday was my 1990s-themed party, which was fun, albeit bittersweet. i'm definitely going to miss that crew (and, in fact, i already do). pics will be on facebook soon.

all right, i'm falling asleep... it feels so much later than it is. will write more later.

4 finals down, 1 to go

2009-05-08T10:57:00.000+02:00

i'm determined to be a better blogger, so i'll type this up before i go to bed.

well, folks, i've made my decision. as shocking as it may be (it's sweeps month, after all), i've elected to spend my 1 ½ months leading up to south africa at home in southern california. i know what you're thinking. i complain incessently about being home when i'm there, and thousand oaks is the king of boring.

BUT...

if i don't go back, i'll be missing out on 2 weddings, 2 graduations, 4 concerts, a bar mitzvah, over a dozen birthdays, countless parties, and myriad "hanging out" time.

and you know what? i miss attending these events. and for a bit, just a little bit, i want to not miss out on everything that everyone else gets to go to.

that being said, i'm sure 7 weeks will drive me crazy, so once i get back from south africa, it's time to permanent-ize myself as an east coaster. that means moving the last of my belongings over from the golden state. ooh, i'm also breaking up the boredom with a ~2 week trip to the east coast, not only in order to attend the ihs seminar, but to spend time with peeps as well.

oh, and thank you to a very special person who helped me remember the importance of family. ;) (i forget that sometimes.)

anywho, i'm planning trips to san diego and san francisco while i'm home. davis might have to happen too, depending on when peeps there have exams. dc peeps are obviously encouraged to come visit/harass me while i'm in the golden state (or in south africa, for that matter).

i'm also looking for a temporary job in california, so if anybody has any leads, please pass them on to me. ;)

time for bed! william and i are going to spend tomorrow checking at least a few of my dc sites of interest off my list. at this point, i have only 8 days left to do this, so i'd best get a move on!

don't let it go away, this feeling has got to stay

2009-05-06T10:52:00.000+02:00

i love how i spent the entirety of this semester anticipating spending the time between finals and south africa with my family back in california. less than 2 weeks out and i'm still vacillating. how very "me" of me.

seriously, why is it so hard for me to make summer plans-related decisions? i seriously must be the weirdest college kid to get stressed out over SUMMER. fml.

that being said, i didn't make any decisions today, but i did check out a great apartment in crystal city (provided i do stay) this evening. it's only a block from the metro, a 15 minute walk from work, the apartment is fabulous (i'd get my own bedroom and bathroom), the roommate is friendly (a friend of a friend), and the rent can't be beat. paul (the roommate)'s lease ends on the same week that i leave for south africa, so it works out perfectly.

i'm also applying for some internships (both paid and unpaid) in washington to give my life meaning and perhaps supplement my income. trying to find an internship in southern california is a lost cause for me since i'm not a marketing major. there's some really interesting ones out there right now, but i don't know how any employer would feel about me skipping out 7 weeks into my internship (even if it were unpaid... ugh).

on the lighter side, pablo moved out today, which led to me doing a fabulous redesigning of my room's layout. i've pushed the beds together to create a double bed for myself; other developments include monopolization of the closet space as well as the expansion of the "dining area". this will be great for my nineties party (for which i bought romy and michele on vhs today as my first party decoration).

state and society in developing countries, forensic anthropology, and professional communication are officially done for me as of today. thank goodness. i can't even think about how i did. i'm just relieved. (it's funny how i had the final exams for all my favorite classes on one day, and now i'm only left with my 2 less enjoyable classes to complete.)

i ate macaroni and cheese on 3 separate occassions today. by accident.

i guess some things in life never really change because, even though i've pushed pablo's and my beds together, i'm still adamantly staying on "my" side. and even though i say i'm planning on coming back to california, i'm still adamantly trying to figure out how i can continue my stint as a washingtonian for as long as possible. and even though i buy groceries, all i ever eat is macaroni and cheese. i think that one day, i will just turn into a big bowl of macaroni and cheese.

great, now i'm hungry again. :(

zomg finals.

2009-05-05T12:03:00.001+02:00

i have an exam in 6 hours and another one in 12. i really should be going to sleep but i've already been up so long that i'm figuring to hell with it, i might as well update my blog.

i guess the most exciting development in my life is my acceptance and matriculation as a study abroad student at the university of cape town. for me, this marks a realization of years of preparation and longing. however, after a long and drawn-out application process, i'm finally confirmed to study at uct next semester. i can't even articulate how excited i am. i'll be at africa's top university, in one of its most vibrant cities, in one of the most fascinating countries. for all the culture shock (not to mention gastric shock) that i expect, i am so thrilled to be partaking in this opportunity. as a political science major, i'm looking forward to studying apartheid/post-apartheid policy in the country's legislative capital, as well as international relations throughout sub-saharan africa; as a social creature, though, i'm looking forward to a diverse and beautiul city of 3 ½ million. the day i got my acceptance, i bought several guide books and a street map; i look through them constantly. my friend/classmate/neighbor melissa got into her program in durban, too, so i'm looking forward to visiting her. :)

indeed, this has definitely turned out to be my best semester at gw so far. perhaps this is because i anticipate leaving for south africa in the near future. nonetheless, i'm loving my time here, too: i absolutely love my state & society in developing countries and forensic anthropology classes, and i wish they weren't ending (especially the former... definitely an underrated professor!). my other courses are manageable, though. socially this is my favorite semester as well. i feel, more so than ever, confident in the stability of my core circle of friends. i've spent a lot of time with joe, william, and andy this semester, which was in retrospctive a great move on my part. special shout out to amanda, too, who i've also spent some great time with as a result of our being in political science 2w together (misery loves company). it's going to be extremely difficult to say good bye at the end of the semester.

speaking of which, i continue to vacillate on leaving dc at the end of the semester and not coming back until november/december. i'm very hesitant to do so. i'll miss my friends, i don't have a job in california (unlike here... dsw turned out to be a great gig after all), and i have mobility thanks to the existence of public transportation. on the other hand, spending the 6-7 weeks in california leading up to my departure to south africa would give me time to spend with my family/high school friends (which i feel like i ought to do), attend events involving said family/friends, and save money by not having to pay for rent. there are a lot of complicating factors, such as: i'm not attending (read: wasn't invited to) as many weddings in california as i'd anticipated (dc + 1); i'd need to find another job in dc in order to supplement my income (ca + 1); i'm attending the ihs seminar in north carolina in early june, which requires me to return to the east coast anyway (dc + 1); i renewed my driver's license, so i could in theory borrow jeffrey's car (ca + 1); i hate the heat (dc + 1); i hate the humidity (ca + 1); there's a lot in dc i want to see before i leave for south africa (dc + 1); dc becomes infested with tourists in the summer, which makes going sightseeing unbearable (ca + 1); i was upset last summer with my experience staying in dc (ca + 1), but that was mainly because of boy drama, and now that i've abdicated from that, i'm more confident that i'd enjoy my time in dc (dc + 1). oh, and there's the fact that i have about a week and a half to make a decision so i ought to hurry up.

help. :(

hmm, what else? oh, i went on a blind date. you can read about it here. that's right, i went on the date as a part of the column for the hatchet, and now the entire school knows i'm a total bitch. i definitely enjoyed my 15 minutes of fame, what with gdubbers coming up to me to (a) congratulate me on my honesty and/or (b) ask if they'd printed the truth. they did. i can't say i was a fan of the bloke. oh, and the whole same last name phenomenon? definitely not my cup of tea.

i went to a couple of free seminars on urban planning at virginia tech, as preparation for my later career in the same field. the content itself was extremely interesting and renewed my desire to enter that field, but i really wasn't impressed with tech's northern virginia campus. i think i'd rather go to a real school for my master's degree. of course, i first have to get through my undergrad... it looks like i could graduate as early as summer 2010, but i'm worried i won't be able to get in all the courses i need by then. also, i've grown graduation-phobic due to the absence of available jobs out there. fuck the economy.

i went to a demitri martin show with joe a few weeks ago, which was amazingly funny. in a few weeks, i'm going to a no doubt concert with my mom, which should be fun as well (despite being in bakersfield... fml). i'm also contemplating going to the thermals concert at black cat on my birthday with joanna. speaking of which, i need to finish (or, rather, start) planning my 20th birthday party. i've decided it's going to be 90s-themed, in response to my upset over the hot topic in wheaton placing green day's first album in the "classic rock" section. i definitely died a little on the inside when i saw that.

all in all, life is great. stressful (of course), thanks to finals, and nerveracking (as expected), thanks to my ongoing "should i stay or should i go?" decision, but truth be told i'm feeling pretty good about things. my grades are high. my friends are close. and pablo is leaving for madrid tomorrow, which means i have 11 days of having the beds pushed together to make a faux double bed. :)

that all being said, in preparation for my impending departure from dc (on may 15), here is a list of places i want to visit before leaving (that is, places i haven't been to yet):

american history museum
archives
holocaust museum
arboretum
mount vernon
congressional cemetary
anacostia museum (at the recommendation of professor bowie)
fort reno park
roosevelt island
baltimore aquarium
annapolis

(i'm too lazy to find wikipedia links for all of these)
what can you add to this list???

that's it for now. hopefully i'll have time for another entry soon. no promises, though. :(

europe

2009-03-26T04:04:00.000+02:00

if i don't hurry up and compose this blog post, then i'll forget everything about my trip to europe.

i can honestly attest to this statement: my recent trip to europe was one of the best experiences of my life so far. i learned so much from this trip, from how to immerse myself in a foreign culture and take on unfamiliar situations, to how to take care of myself as an adult individual and the value of friendship (on that note, for the record, joe was a fabulous travel partner!).

thursday the 12th was one of the most stressful days of my life. i had to turn in 2 papers (which, of course, involved finishing them within minutes beforehand), take my forensic anthropology midterm, pack, and head to dulles airport, which is conveniently located not only nowhere near my house, but nowhere near a metro stop as well (though they're working on it... or at least in theory).

dulles continues to be one of the most antiquated (not to mention puzzling) airports in america. bearing a resemblance to a cross between the 1960s and star wars, dulles requires its international passengers to travel in a "mobile lounge" (basically an oversized, army surplus-esque bus) to the international terminal.

upon boarding the 767, i immediately started feeling anxious. after all, this was to be my first trip outside of the united states, and to make matters worse for me, the flight was a transatlantic one — that's a lot of ocean to pass over! one phone call with my dad and a few pills later, i was ready to roll.

we arrived into heathrow on the morning of the 13th. customs and passport control were pretty easy (when asked how joe and i know each other, i proudly responded, "best friends!"). from there, joe and i boarded the heathrow express train toward paddington station, during which time we were amazed to learn that the train system (as well as the tube system) has a policy stating that if you are delayed by 15+ minutes, then you qualify for a refund. (could you imagine if metro promised that? they'd be even more broke than they already are!)

joe and i checked into the tower hotel before crossing the tower bridge toward shakespeare's globe theatre. unfortunately, the only performances going on while we were there were restricted to school groups, but we got to walk around the theatre. i also bought some pretty bamf things at their gift shop:

a bottle of mead (my first legal alcohol purchase!)
a shotglass that says "quaffing and drinking will undo you" (from twelfth night 1.iii)
a shotglass that says "i'll ne'er be drink whilst i live again" (from marry wives of windsor 1)
an eraser that says "out, out, damned spot!" (my favorite purchase)

outside of the globe, i think i spotted this guy from gwu walking past us (i was friends with his boyfriend last year). totally random. i also discovered, then, that pigeons fly incredibly low in england. i kept on nearly getting attacked by them, causing me to have to duck and jump out of the way. (it was later confirmed for me that this didn't just happen to me.)

after lunch at a winery (which was impossible to find, due to london's hopelessly random road system) and a quick spell of relaxation at the hotel, joe and i carried on to the british museum. joe and i were shocked by the apparent lack of security measures taken on the part of the museum. honestly, we could have easily climbed into the sarcophagi in the ancient egyptian exhibit without repercussion. (seeing the rosetta stone was pretty amazing, though.)

joe and i then went on to have dinner at an italian restaurant with sophie and lindsay, 2 high school (theatre) friends of mine who now live in europe (sophie attends the academy of music and dramatic arts, and lindsay is studying abroad in bonn, although she was coincidentally in london at the same time). after dinner sophie took us on a very impromptu tour of central london, where we took in the sights and sounds. all in all, it was a fun evening, and it felt great to be able to meet up with old friends in a foreign city. :)

joe and i woke up on the 14th (after coming home exhausted from our travels the night before) and headed over to notting hill (of julia roberts fame) for the portobello road market. we expected it to be quite similar to washington's eastern market, but there turned out to be a few decisive differences. first of all, the variety of goods for sale is far greater. there were multiple antiquarian map dealers there (not just one like at eastern market), and the artwork for sale there was actually good, unlike that postmodern rubbish they sell at eastern market. there were fewer burnt-down buildings, as well.

i bought a bagel with lox and cream cheese for £1 ($1.40)... amazing! those cost me at least $5 stateside! i also bought some boxers with a map of the tube on them (that's another difference: the clothes they sold there weren't sketchy and diseased). from there, we passed by george orwell's house and wound up boarding a double decker bus. we sat at the front of the bus on the upper level, so it turned out to be one of the scarier and more harrowing parts of the trip for us. not only are the roads far narrower in england, but vehicles make extremely sharp turns; it was disorienting to be on the other side of the road as well. there were a few occasions that i was sure we were going to crash into (read: crush) oncoming traffic.

somehow, we survived, and we wound up at buckingham palace. it was even more beautiful than i expected. from there, we headed into the shopping district of knightsbridge, ultimately ending up at the world-famous department store, harrod's. this had long been one of the most attractive of london's destinations to me, and i even wrote about it in my paper for architectural history last year. so, as you can imagine, my pilgrimage to harrod's marked the realization of a dream for me.

"fur is murder" protesters outside notwithstanding, harrod's was definitely the coolest place i've ever shopped at. first and foremost, it is a BIG store. i could have spent days upon days in there. it is also beautiful and ridiculously expensive. that being said, i did manage to make some purchases there:

a britpop cd for peter that hasn't been released in the us yet
100 grams of chocolate pralines (which apparently doesn't amount to much)
a harrod's brand bottle of wine (hey, it was only £7.50)
a paddington bear! (aww ♥)

i imagine that paddy (my paddington bear) will eventually become regina's husband. anyway, while i was at harrod's, the woman at the humidor tried to sell me a cuban. she seemed shocked to learn that purchasing that would be an extreme act of treason on my part... i thought our embargo on cuba was common knowledge! i also got a photo with the opera singer, who looked much older closer up than she did singing from her balcony.

after that, we went to the transport museum. there were lots of children there, but british children are much better behaved than the brats in america and so it was okay. the museum turned out to be cool and surprisingly untacky, although i definitely made an ass (arse?) of myself by asking where the coat check was (apparently, brits call it a "cloak room"). the museum itself had some great exhibits chronicling the development of the tube; it makes me wonder if the washington metro could ever develop to the point of expansiveness that the tube has. (they got through wwii with the trains still running... that's setting the bar quite high!)

stepping outside the transport museum, we watched a fairly uncharismatic street performer at covent garden untangle himself from a straitjacket, and i got attacked by a few more pigeons. we stopped by the hotel to drop off our purchases, then we met up with chad. (for those of you who don't know, chad is actually the one who introduced joe and i; he's studying abroad at lse this year.) chad failed at finding a restaurant for us, so we were lame and went to vapiano's (even though there's one 4 blocks from my house). we also ran into some problems afterward, because (a) the line to get into the club we wanted to go to was blocks and blocks long, and (b) apparently bars in london close at midnight, limiting our nightlife opportunities. we wound up going to a really fun party at lse, and even though the brits' sense of pop music is 20 years behind ours, we still had a really fun time. (i can't believe lse would sponsor such a swinging party... cheap drinks, too!)

on the 15th, joe and i had to wake up at the ungodly hour of 6am in order to catch our tour bus. i took various persons up on their suggestion to take a tour bus, but of course that comes with a price: my patience. obviously, there were no brits on the bus, and the majority-american bus managed to embarrass our country (the worst being the woman from texas, who vehemently explained to our tour guide that "we have the death penalty... and we use it!"). i sunk my head in dismay as comments like these were uttered with the utmost of density.

our first stop was stonehenge. it was a little disappointing how the roping off severely limited how close to the structure you could get. (honestly, it's been there for thousands of years... do they really think anybody would break them this late in the game?) being the history dork that i am, of course, i still managed to geek out over the structure. as we were preparing to depart, however, the tour guide realized we were one passenger short. to my relief, she only allotted 15 minutes to wait for the passenger to return; he never did, so we continued on. (we all knew what time we were supposed to return, so i was remorseless.)

we went to the town of salisbury after that, which i can't say was terribly interesting. the 789-year-old salisbury cathedral is located there, but i considered its transformation from a house of worship to a tourist attraction to be fairly sacrilegious. however, that trip also entailed me geeking out once again over the sight of the magna carta. we also had a "traditional english" lunch in salisbury, which all of us americans miraculously managed to choke down.

our final destination on the bus tour was bath, which is the one i was really excited about. (it's also where the previously lost passenger miraculously wound up meeting us at.) in retrospect, i should have opted to just spend the entire day there; it's a beautiful city that i would have loved to explore in greater detail. we went to the roman baths, which in themself were incredible, but the surrounding accompanying museum was fairly forgettable. they also sold small glasses of the bathwater (flouridated) for 50p. i should have passed on that one.

sadly, we didn't have much time to spend at the jane austen museum (which was fittingly located on gay street at queen square), so i managed to capitalize on the gift shop and have a sufficiently geeky conversation with the cashier that would have done mrs. novak proud (apparently, a requirement for working there is that you've read each of jane austen's books). after that, i had a weird craving for burger king's onion rings (the burger king in bath, of course, is located in a very old building and employs only white people), but i didn't have time to satisfy that craving of mine before we had to get back on the bus (we were fearful of getting left behind, of course).

traffic was slow getting back into london at that point, but once we did, we jumped on the jubilee line and headed up to stanmore to have dinner with uncle henry and aunt judy. the only adjective i can think of to aptly describe our time up there is fabulous! aunt judy really outdid herself with a delicious dinner; joe and i both had a lot of fun with them. they are great people to talk with, and i had fun chatting about both england and our family from "their" perspective. ;) uncle henry was even nice enough to drive us back to our hotel after that.

the 16th (our last day in england) saw us taking a walking tour a few more of the tourist destinations in london: big ben, parliment, westminster abbey, and no. 10. we also randomly ran into lindsay across the street from big ben, which was sufficiently weird considering how large of a city london is.

our final destination in london was the tower, so we decided to take the long route there so we could check out the docklands light rail. that took us by canada water, which is a ridiculously named/horribly pointless tube station. (however, there is a finnish church off the canada water stop...) so anyway, we got to the tower, and i was hardly impressed by the crown jewels (although joe was); i thought the structure of the facility was far more fascinating. the exterior wall had those slender, cross-shaped window s so that arrows couldn't fly through, once again appealing to my geeky side.

purchases at the tower's gift shop included:

a glass bell for andy, our very special friend (fit for a queen!)
a poster-sized chart of the british monarchs' lineage
a pencil (that pushed me over the edge so that i would qualify for a vat refund)

after that, we picked up our luggage from our hotel and hopped on the heathrow express toward the airport.

our flight to copenhagen only took 2 hours, and when we landed the fog was so thick we couldn't even see out the windows. on the interior, kastrup airport bears a strong resemblance to ikea; they also waved us through customs and passport control pretty quickly (no questions asked). :)

we took the metro to the kongens nytorv stop and checked in to the hotel opera. i immediately fell in love with its carpet, which had a pattern of g-clefs all across it, although it was a tad annoying getting our luggage up to our room (we were on the 5th floor, and the elevator only went up to the 4th). the european-style shower set-up was a unique feature of our room, too, but it was just as clean and comfortable as our room in london, so i was more than fine with it.

despite the rain and the fog, we decided to explore the city a little bit. we found a great restaurant at which to have dinner along nyhavn, the canal that appears on many of copenhagen's postcards. our waitress informed us that the city is very safe (with the infamous exception of christiania), so we took the liberty of walking around a little before retiring for the night. it's a very beautiful city, but not in the same sense that london is; the color scheme that comprises the buildings is more drab, but that gives it more of a gothic look than anything else (in my opinion, at least). the copious amounts of graffiti are a turn-off, though, although its prevelance doesn't necessarily signify that a neighborhood is dangerous.

the 17th began with a bit of a blunder, but wound up being excellent. after hastily getting ready, we missed the tour bus that we had planned on taking around town that morning; so, we decided to slow down the pace and enjoyed a nice breakfast at a coffeehouse. the barista there had recently emigrated from iceland, so we made great fun at her expense with regards to iceland's recent economic downturn/her probable status as a refugee. i don't think she appreciated those remarks, but nonetheless, my irish coffee was delicious (give me a break, it was saint patrick's day!).

(i would just like to interject here my fascination with women's fashion in copenhagen. all of the women were wearing gorgeous fur coats and boots with 3+ inch heels. what was interesting to me about this, though, is that all of these women were riding their bicycles! amazing.)

from the coffeehouse, we went to the central train station (which was close by) to buy stamps for our postcards. there was this really cool model train exhibit set up at the station, and being a model train aficionado, joe was immediately engaged. a business card indicated that the models originated at a shop in hellerup, a suburb of copenhagen, so we decided to take a spur-of-the-moment trip there via the s-tog (commuter rail). fortunately, trains in europe run so frequently and with such efficiency that we hardly had to wait longer than a few minutes for a train to run (mind you, the s-tog's american equivalents include vre and metrolink). and, of course, the train was clean and comfortable.

if i only had one adjective to describe hellerup, it would be WINDY. the strong winds could have nearly knocked us over. however, being in hellerup gave me the opportunity to see a part of denmark off the stereotypical tourist's beaten path (which, of course, i avoid). i bought a stick of deoderant there, so now i have a really awesome stick of deoderant written in danish. :) the model trains shop wasn't terribly different in infrastructure than one in the us, and the train that joe bought (a model of the s-tog, i believe) was a little pricey. however, just down the street from it was a small beach along the shore of the øresund, the strait that separates denmark and sweden. we collected a bit of sand in a ziploc for william (we'd have taken some foliage too but we figured that'd have been hard to take through us customs).

i also loved seeing middelgrunden (the windmill farm in the middle of the øresund) from the beach at hellerup.

after the beach, we got back on the s-tog and traveled back into copenhagen, where we did some shopping (so many h&m stores!!). then, we had dinner at wagmama, which seems to be pan-asian cuisine's answer to vapiano's (except with less attitude). joe especially jumped on the "bring wagamama to america" bandwagon, although i found out a few days ago that wagamama apparently already exists in boston. after dinner, we met up with joe's friend christian, as well as his friend peter, for drinks. that was a lot of fun; i had a great time with them. the guys had some great insights on the danish culture in which they were raised, particularly scandinavians' resistance to small talk (remember that for later on in this story).

peter had recommended that we hit up this irish pub called the dubliner in celebration of saint patrick's day, so off joe and i went. (to be fair, though, i think every major city worldwide has a bar called the "dubliner".) the scene was energetic and peaceable, if not seemingly on the young side as well. the dj's taste in music was as antediluvian as that of the lse party's dj, so when the killers came on and no one knew how to sing to them, the people singing on the tables cleared off; it was then that i took the opportunity to pull joe up with me to dance. the danes, puzzled by the top 40 hit that was playing, stared at us in disbelief, but joe and i sufficiently enjoyed ourselves. ;)

that being said, we knew it was time to go home when the live band that began to play consisted of members who were easily over twice our age. :(

seeing as the 18th was to be our last full day in europe, joe and i got a reasonably early start. we decided to start off with a walking tour, and our first destination was amalienborg. the square in front of the palace was practically devoid of any life forms, and the guards, partaking in their ceremonial march, seemed silly without an audience (think arlington cemetary's tomb of the unknowns sans the crowds). then, suddenly, the gates opened, and out came the queen of denmark in a bentley! (yes, we're sure it was her.) security around her car seemed pretty casual: there was only one other car traveling with the bentley, and the queen's windows were markedly untinted. it would have been easy to stop her and say "hej!".

from there, we went on to kastellet. mind you, kastellet still serves as an active base for the danish armed forces, but we had no problem just sauntering on to the base and walking around. in fact, there were a few civilians jogging around, and the soldiers seemed pretty relaxed. based on this experience as well as our ones with the queen and clearing danish customs, we realized how lax security is in denmark. (fun fact: it only took the nazis 2 hours to take over denmark in wwii. wow, did it really take them that many?) the grass bunkers were fun to run up and down, too.

after that, we stopped by the little mermaid statue. as we had guessed, it was fairly unimpressive. (see african-american civil war memorial.)

then, we got on the train and traveled north to the town of helsingør, particularly its main attraction, kronborg castle (immortalized as elsinore castle in shakespeare's hamlet). for years, i had been dying to explore a castle, and kronborg was definitely the perfect castle for it.

kronborg typifies an ideal medieval castle: seemingly large and looming from the outside, cozy and safe on the inside, but in reality expansive and intricate in its architecture. kronborg sits at the northernmost point of zealand island and soars above the øresund (you can see the swedish shoreline from kronborg). it is an old structure; that fact becomes readily apparent early on. the tightly winding circle staircases all have steps that are warping, and the inscriptions in the stone fireplaces are from centuries ago (except for the one by that jackass dated 1991).

it is also a complex structure. the seemingly endless series of rooms on the upper level featured room after room of antiques (microsoft encarta fans can equate the complexity of kronborg's floorplan to the mindmaze game). it only got more convoluted as we descended into the basement, which is where the granaries, prison cells, cold storage areas, etc. were located. virtually all of it consisted of a dirt floor of shifting elevations... oh, and it was pitch black, too. since joe and i refused to shell out 40 kroner for a flashlight at the (cleverly placed) vending machine, we tried feeling our way around in the dark, occasionally with painful results. it was a miracle that we made it out of there; i wonder what happens if you become truly lost? (i can't imagine how one wouldn't.)

once we emerged from the underworld, joe and i continued on by walking around the chapel and the grounds (oh, and the gift shop, of course). then, joe and i walked back to the central part of helsingør, where we bought hot dogs with an unidentifiable white condiment. (naughty jokes ensued, of course.) i did enjoy their buns, though: they were enclosed at all but the end where the meat stuck out, which prevented drippage. i've decided to make it my own personal goal to popularize them in the united states. ;)

joe and i boarded the train again, this time toward malmö, sweden's southernmost (and 3rd largest) city. since 2000, travel into malmö from denmark has become a cinch thanks to øresundsbron, the bridge crossing the øresund. since joe loves feats of transportation technology, he especially enjoyed this journey (not to say that i didn't, but to be honest, i think i was taking a nap as we were crossing the bridge).

we stopped by the visitor's center at malmö's central train station to purchase malmö cards (that's when i discovered that swedish signage is much more difficult for anglophones to comprehend than danish) before backtracking to the malmö syd station. from there, we boarded a city bus (thanks to our malmö cards, which paid for our fares), which took us where?

to ikea, of course!

that's right, folks. in a moment of ultimate geekiness, joe and i paid homage to the great swedish corporation by visiting an authentic swedish ikea. it wasn't terribly different from an american ikea, but i always have fun at ikea because i love looking at their displays. there were some subtle differences, of course: the "apartment in 200 ft²" displays were instead in metric measurements ("lägenhet i 30 m²"), and all of the escalators were ramp-style (and thus more awesome). the café was better, too; i can now say that i have enjoyed a truly delicious cappauchino at ikea. ;)

also, joe and i bought awesome matching neon yellow ikea employee vests for 40 kroner each. :)

after ikea madness, joe and i were waiting for a bus to take us into downtown malmö. while waiting, joe decided to make the swedish woman also waiting for the bus feel sufficiently uncomfortable by forcing small talk on to her (remember what christian and peter had told us?). the results were beyond hilarious.

joe: "(incomprehensible attempts to greet the woman in swedish)"
woman: "va?"
(joe shows the woman the phrase in our guidebook he was trying to articulate)
woman: (in flawless english) "oh, how am i? i am good. how are you?"
joe: "good. we're just waiting for the bus to take us downtown."
woman: "where are you from?"
joe: "california."
woman: "what part?"
joe: (referring to me) "he's from the los angeles area, and i'm from san diego."
woman: "have you heard of thousand oaks?"
me: (exclaiming) "what? no way! i'm from thousand oaks!"
woman: "oh, really? my son-in-law is from thousand oaks!"

we then chatted for a bit about how her son-in-law used to work in retail there before immigrating to sweden, how her daughter has visited there, etc. i got the common question regarding thousand oaks ("it's not that close to los angeles, is it?" "no ma'am, it isn't."). talk about the proverbial small world.

upon arriving in downtown malmö, joe and i made our way over to the citytunneln museum. to explain, banverket is constructing an underground rail tunnel between øresundsbron's northern terminus and malmö's central station to relieve overcrowding, to provide quicker routing between malmö and copenhagen, and to encourage malmö's development as a population and economic center; this project, called citytunneln, has its own associated museum with information and exhibits about said project. as transport-philes, joe and i had to check it out.

the museum's docent was extremely eager to educate us about citytunneln (as if we'd been her only visitors for the day!), even so far to putting on the english-language video about citytunneln in the auditorium for us. i wasn't expecting such warm reception, but nonetheless, i thought it was pretty cool that banverket had established an entire museum in honor of its project; could you imagine if wmata, who can't even complete their projects on time, did that? anyway, this all explains why i now have a stress ball that says "citytunneln" on it.

for dinner, we went to what was advertised as "probably the best steak house in town". awkward translation aside, the service was strange (as had been the service throughout our trip-- no gratuity really changes things!): we were told that the wait would be in excess of 45 minutes; then, after leaving the restaurant in dismay and returning 3 minutes later (after realizing we'd rather just wait than try to find another restaurant in malmö), an available table for 2 suddenly materialized. once we sat down, though, the meal was fine (although by that point i'd begun to miss america's freakishly large portions at restaurants).

after dinner, joe and i took a walk through malmö, past the casino (which i wasn't allowed into because i'm not 20-- i didn't even want to gamble, i just wanted to see it!) and malmö castle, before boarding the train back to copenhagen. back in copenhagen, joe and i sought out a long-lasting gay bar that our guidebook raved about, but apparently it closed in 2007, so we found a rather empty bar (hey, it was a wednesday night) and hung out in there for a bit. a woman approached me who looked like the queen (in the hag disguise) from snow white, but the bartender quickly shooed her out. (she was complaining about something... the government, possibly? i asked the bartender who she was, and he said "my mother". i'm still not sure if he was kidding or not. consider it the mystery i left behind in europe!)

our time in copenhagen on the 19th mainly consisted of us packing and getting ready to go to the airport. the 9-hour flight was fine (sas airlines is amazing!), but i overdid it with the sleeping pills and couldn't bring myself to composure when the flight attendent came around with dinner (in fact, i think i was drooling). re-entering the united states through customs was a nightmare, of course; our time spent there totaled over an hour and consisted of 3 unnecessarily long lines. finally, we were allowed into the country (what a surprise).

well, there you have it: my detailed review of my trip to europe. :) as i said, it was one of the most amazing experiences in life, and partaking in that experience makes me want to travel even more. photos will be uploaded to facebook shortly.

also, do any of you have twitter? i was skeptical of it at first, but now i'm starting to really get in to it. if so, you should "follow" my "tweets". ;) even though i'm going to try to get back into blogging, i'm finding that twitter is a good way to let everyone know what's up.

if i don't write one of these, my mother will continue asking me why i haven't

2009-03-20T17:09:00.001+02:00

i apologize for the fact that it's been over two months since i've updated my blog. i've been, well, busy. this semester has been, by far, the busiest for me of any semester of mine at gw. arduous course load notwithstanding, a lot has been going on in my non-academic life as well. that being said, let me try to give you the most comprehensive update on my life that i can.

robbie and i broke up. for those of you who don't know, robbie is a boy from home who i started seeing over thanksgiving break and became extremely fond of fast. well, by the time christmas rolled around, he was my boyfriend and everything seemed perfect between us. it's certainly not usual for me to jump into relationships like i did with robbie, but the connection seemed apparent and i thought, "why wait?"

after christmas break ended, i went back to dc and he went back to state college (he attends penn state). the problems started then. unlike between thanksgiving and christmas breaks, our phone calls and conversations became less frequent. as i said, i was busy, and he was too. that being said, toward the end of january, he invited me up to nyc for the weekend to be his guest as part of a weekend-long excursion that penn state's theatre department was doing. so, i went up.

things were definitely different between robbie and i in nyc. it was awkward. we were more strangers than boyfriends. frankly, i was upset for a lot of the weekend, but i tried to maintain a positive attitude because of the situation (after all, it was a school excursion). also, there was the fact that we had to share a hotel room with one of robbie's schoolmates (as opposed to having our own, as we thought we would).

despite all this, i had a lot of fun meeting and hanging out with robbie's friends, and we caught some broadway shows together. the first one we saw was in the heights, which was probably my favorite. i can see why it won the tony in 2008. next, we saw pal joey. robbie's and my seats were absolutely amazing, and stockard channing (of west wing fame) is definitely the sexiest sexagenarian around town. the male lead had a disappointingly weak singing voice, though. we also saw phantom of the opera and were both instantaneously disappointed by it. the technical issues were hard to get through; you'd think a show that's been around for longer than i've been alive would have gotten its kinks out by now! the show is also pretty dated: both the music and lighting were done in an entirely antediluvian style. truthfully, robbie and i would have walked out at intermission had the coat check been open.

robbie's and my communication came to a crawl after i returned to dc. then, shortly before valentine's day (coincidence? you decide), he called me up, and after a lengthy conversation, we decided to break up. it was not the best choice according to my opinion at the time, and for a while after i was extremely lonesome for him. however, i am happy to report that i am doing much better now. :)

shortly before then, however, was the inaguration of president obama. truthfully, i'm pretty unenthusiastic about his performance so far as our commander-in-chief, but i'm nonetheless grateful that i got the chance to go to the inauguration. well, go to an area as close to the inauguration ceremony as was feasible: over 2 million people turned out for the event, which made trying to travese the lawn of the national mall — especially with all of the barricades in place — an impossible task. i went with my friend steve, and despite it being 22º, it was still a fun experience (although most of that is derived from commiserating with strangers over the crowdedness and the cold).

a few days prior, i randomly ran onto william on the mall during the equally crowded event, the inaugural concert. that wasn't as much fun. i only went to hear beyoncé, who was by and large disappointing. however, i did buy a really awesome shirt off of a vendor there that has the constitution on it. you know you're a political science major when... ;)

my job in bethesda turned out to be a complete bust. now, i don't want to use this blog as a slam book, but it was pretty terrible. if nothing else, the commute killed me: a 30+ minute commute, only to work for 3 hours at a time, is a waste. also, my supervisor went back on the salary and the schedule that had been promised to me, and my coworkers were downright rude to me. i lasted about 3 weeks.

instead, i now work at a dsw (shoe store) in arlington. the difference between the 2 jobs is night and day. the pay is great, the commute is short, the schedule is flexible, and i love my coworkers. being in retail is a bit of a drag (especially considering it won't help my career), but it's a great gig that i'm happy with for at least until the end of the semester. :) (in fact, i'm working today at 6 p.m., so you should come visit me at work!)

around the time i started at dsw (shortly after valentine's day, or less than 2 weeks after my break-up with robbie), my dad came to visit me. it actually turned out to be a great visit; we had a lot of fun together. i showed him around arlington and eastern market, and i hosted a (mostly) successful dinner party with him and some of my closest friends. (i say "mostly" because of my having burned the rice-a-roni.) however, he was definitely not used to how cold it gets here on the east coast! :(

all this time, i've been extremely busy with classes. as i've stated, this has been, by far, the most difficult semester so far. however, i enjoy my course load a lot more than i have in past semesters. this semester, i am taking:

forensic anthropology. this is probably the best class i've ever taken at gw. the monday component of this class (that is, the lab) is conducted at the smithsonian's museum of natural history. it truly is amazing to be able to explore the restricted section of such a monumental museum. the class requires a lot of my time, but it definitely is rewarding. the instructor is amazing, and i've made a few good friends in that class, too.
introduction to american politics. this is one of those large-lecture survey courses that i shouldn't have to take (considering i was born in america and wasn't born yesterday at that). but, since it's a prerequisite for my major and my high school didn't have a corresponding adv. placement course which would have let me test out of it, i'm stuck in it with a bunch of whiny freshmen, international students, and amanda nordby (♥!!!). the professor hasn't taught me one thing i didn't already know all semester. (it would be a guaranteed a for me if my ta wasn't so clueless.)
state and society in developing nations. for being the least popular course in the political science dept., i actually love this course. i really like the no-nonsense style of teaching by the professor; it's a refreshing change from instructors who forego actually teaching for the sake of trying to entertain us. also, the unpopularity of the course keeps the roster at a cool 19, and the actual average attendence around 9; professor bowie doesn't receive the recognition he deserves. (i imagine he'd be more popular at another university whose students take their studies a bit more seriously.)
freedom and equality. this is to satisfy the political philosophy requirement for my major. in contrast to state and society, this course is the most popular one in the department, and yet i find it totally uninteresting. the professor likes to entertain rather than teach, and i can't pay attention in lecture for the life of me. (i blame the drab and stuffy nature of funger hall: home of the bats!) the discussion section is complely online, which i find difficult to contend with.
professional communication. i enrolled in this course partly to become more professional and partly as a crip. the former hasn't really come to fruition, but the latter has. having a 3-hour class on tuesday night is tricky, but at least the professor is another red sox fan from southern california. :)

i've submitted my application to study abroad in cape town, as well as applications for alternate programs in dublin and london. i also did my app for perc and now need to get started on my one for ihs. the content of my summer will be highly dependent on my acceptence into each of these programs. speaking of applications, i applied to ΠΣA, the national honors fraternity for political science majors; i don't think my gpa is high enough for that one, though. (there's a reason why it's an honors fraternity.)

i've also gotten back into watching big love on a regular basis. great show.

however, the most interesting of the recent developments in my life is my recent trip to europe. leading up to this trip, i had a lot of anxieties. i had never left the country, and a flight over the entire atlantic ocean seemed truly daunting to me; nonetheless, i decided to spend a week traveling with joe to both london and copenhagen.

i'm so glad i did: it was so much fun and an amazing experience! i'll chronicle the entire trip in my next post; however, this one has been going on for way too long, and i need to get on with my day. in my next post, however, i promise i'll write about all the details of my amazing european adventure. :) stay tuned!

santa barbara is for bloggers

2009-01-08T03:47:00.000+02:00

sitting here in the library at uc santa barbara makes me really want to go back to gwu and have school again.

i'll explain: linda's at pep band practice right now, and i needed a way to kill 2 hours before she's released (i'm spending the night with her). i can't seem to get into contact with any of the (what i thought was a) limitless number of friends who go here, so until she's done i'm using the computers at their library.

i know that everybody says that ucsb students and gwu students have wildly different college experiences, but right now, i'd disagree. the insides of the buildings look pretty much the same (the library, the classrooms, the bookstore). in fact, some of the exteriors look similar as well (ucsb's south hall looks remarkably similar to gwu's academic center). the students have the same douchebag attitudes here, too (the only exception being that the guys here at ucsb are way hotter). i think gw kids are still richer, though.

whenever i come to ucsb, i question why on earth i went to gw over here. it's truly beautiful here. for those who don't know, the school is basically built on the ocean. despite it being the middle of january, the weather here is wonderful. linda's here. and all this for a much lower price than what i pay in order to go to gwu.

however, after thinking about it for a while, i remember why i like gw so much. the school itself might not be much to speak of, but the city of washington is a great place to be! i love being able to go shopping, to clubs, to museums, and to restaurants; better yet, i can take the metro to all of these. and even though there's no one quite like linda, i've still managed to make some great friends (jo, joe, amanda, peter...) in washington as well. and even though it makes it difficult to get between the two, the distance between home and gw is sometimes much appreciated.

bottom line: i wouldn't be half the person i am right now if i hadn't chosen to go to gwu. not that gw has been especially helpful in any of my recent accomplishments, but the situation that gw put me in has certainly been a catalyst in my life.

other somewhat interesting happenings in my life:

i've virtually decided on a course schedule for this semester. still not sure about taking dance, though. as the only class on my otherwise free friday, it has the great potential to be the first to be dropped.
my (well, my brother's) car is out of the shop, and i'm down several hundred dollars as a result. i made myself feel better about yesteday by dropping another $100 on clothes at the mall.
i'm not starting my internship until january 22. thank goodness, because i have so much to do when i get back to dc that i'll need that week to acclamate myself back to my dc way of life. (it's at a non-profit organization called earth share. another environmentalist group, i know, but this one has a focus closer to what i'm interested in, which is political fundraising.)
i realized that this is the longest i've been in california since i moved out of it (4 weeks). counting thanksgiving, i've been in california for 5 of the past 7 weeks. i need to stop this. i don't know what the heck i'm going to do when the spring semester ends.
i'm sleepy.

i'm going to find linda now. her pep band practice is almost over.

i'm a blob

2009-01-05T09:19:00.001+02:00

i managed to pass another day by not doing anything. well, i caught up on a couple of e-mails i needed to send out, but other than that most of my day was spent on facebook or watching the eagles-vikings game (i wound up rooting for the eagles out of contempt for a former flame of mine, who just so happened to be a diehard vikings fan).

i spent most of this weekend trying to figure out what i should major in. in the end, i've decided to remain a public policy major. after doing some research, it seems that, while it's not out of the realm of possibility to become a city planner with a b.a. in public policy, it's much more difficult to procure employment in other fields with a b.a. in geography. hence, i'm sticking with public policy.

now all i've got to do is finalize my schedule for this upcoming semester. i've resolved to complete that task by the end of tomorrow. (anybody know of some worthwhile courses i can take?)

considering moving my semester of study abroad up to fall 2009, which according to uct's academic calendar means i'd be gone from july to november. that means i have to work on my focus on fall abroad application this week. i'm trying to determine whether my feelings that fall 2009 is "too soon" are genuine or based on my genuine nervousness about going.

no new news on the job front, as the organization that i want to work for (the one in silver spring) was supposed to call me last week with regards to whether i got the internship, and they never did. i guess this means i'll be working for the one in bethesda (which already offered me a position, albeit less paying). i also responded to some employment opportunity ads on craigslist today, although i'm not expecting anything to come from them. (yvette mentioned something about caribou's district manager wanting me to come back on board, but i haven't heard anything since.)

i also need to work on my applications for the ihs and perc seminars, although since i discovered that the ihs seminar that i was interested in actually takes place in august and not june (as i'd thought), i need to figure out what i'm going to do about that. need to contact ex-professors for rec letters for perc as well.

i miss how on xanga it would tell you how many people had read a particular blog entry. now it's hard for me to gage the readership of this blog, since nobody ever leaves me comments, although i do get a kick out of it when somebody references my blog in the real (that is, the non-internet) world.

i guess i'll go to bed now.

is south africa "finger lickin' good" at equality?

2009-01-03T08:43:00.000+02:00

i've been trying to work up the energy to write a new blog entry for a couple of days now, but every time i sit down to the computer i feel like being completely useless and click on random buttons on wikipedia/facebook.

i thought i could score myself an easy #1 for my 101 things in 1001 days challenge on new year's by having my first "real" kiss (that is, one with an actual boy) at the stroke of midnight. unfortunately, his brother popped up around 11:59, and no one kissed anyone else at that party anyway so it would have been awkward if he and i had. long story short, this challenge is going to be harder than i thought.

spent some more time over these past few days researching studying abroad. the rents (even mom, surprisingly) are actually on board with me going off to south africa, but they seemed a little anxious about the de facto social situation post-apartheid. in response, i did a little research, which led me to finding these videos on youtube:

this virgin mobile commercial (advert, in south african english) characterizes the black man as the one in power when the recently deceased white man reaches heaven, seemingly answering to him. i think this exemplifies an interesting role reversal following the severely white-dominated society in south africa throughout the apartheid.

to this, i thought: "how nice of the commercial actors of south africa to be acting in accordance with the country's new pro-equality legislation." however, unsure of whether this applies to the public in its entirety, i pushed on.

what's notable about this coca-cola commercial is the young man referencing his enrollment in university. during apartheid, blacks were all but completely banned from attending universities and other first-rate educational institutions, citing the reason as that since blacks are bound to take up working class jobs, it would be a "waste of an education" to provide them with first-rate academia. (looking for a proper citation for that quote.)

the university of cape town serves an integral role in the equality-based post-apartheid society with its equal racial distribution of students. (i'm definitely against affirmative action, but in south africa's case, this is more than worthy of praise.)

however, it wasn't until this commercial that i truly felt confident in the notion of fairness in south africa:

now, i can't even begin to understand this kfc commercial. why does the black man in the luxury sedan give the white street musician the sandwich? are they married? that would explain the love notes that the white man posts. if that's the case, why is one of them on the street while the other drives the nice car? and in any case, why doesn't the black man share his kfc with the white man? how does this commercial make me want to buy kfc any more? and most importantly, why in the world does kfc exist in south africa?

bottom line: if a corporation as slimy as kfc is willing to air a commercial that depicts such fairness for blacks, then it must be true and de facto in south african society.

101 things in 1001 days

2009-01-01T04:43:00.000+02:00

from: Susan Wiley
to: Michael Ross
cc: Robert Stoker
subject: RE: PSC 124

Dear Michael,

The Bulletin is clear about pre-requisite courses and PSC 002 is a pre-requisite to all 100 level Group B, American Politics, PSC classes. I am copying Professor Stoker, the instructor for that section of PSC 124. Only the professor can over-ride the pre-requisite requirement. This decision cannot be made by the Dean or by me as undergraduuate advisor. Have you already contacted Professor Stoker?

Regards,
Professor Wiley

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interestingly enough, the office of the registrar e-mailed me saying that the dean can, in fact, override that prerequisite requirement.

i've spent a lot of time this break thinking about my academic future. i am really interested in becoming an urban planner, but after talking to some professionals in the field about it, i'm not so sure that a bachelor's in public policy will help me achieve that goal. ideally, i should be getting my degree in city planning — but since gw does not have such a department, my next best bet is a bachelor's in geography. however, i've never taken any geography courses. so, i need to decide: should i switch over to geography now, or try taking an introductory course to see if i really like it?

the former of those options is the only way for me to achieve my degree in geography and still graduate when i want to (may 2010). but i am concerned by the apparent lack of employment opportunities for geography majors post-college (other than for urban planners). futhermore, i'm not so sure that i still want to graduate at such an accelerated pace; in fact, i'm contemplating studying abroad.

this is the university of cape town, the oldest university in south africa, the top-rated university on the continent of africa, and the possible future site of my study abroad.

i've wanted to go to uct for as long as i can remember. when i was thinking of leaving gwu after the fall 2007 semester, i considered spending a semester there. even though i ultimately decided to stay at gw, i have thought about it on and off, but dismissed it for several factors (money, the rents' concerns, desire to graduate early, fear of missing my friends, etc.). however, i'm now realizing that nearly all of my close friends will be studying abroad next year, so it looks like i'll be missing them one way or another. and money isn't an issue ever since the office of study abroad started waving a tantalizing scholarship offer in my face. the rents are even encouraging me to look into the semester at uct program.

but most importantly, i no longer feel in a hurry to graduate early. i realize how many options and opportunities are in front of me, but once i actually select them, other doors will obviously close for me. moreover, i keep on resolving to not take courses i'm actually interested in for fear of not being able to graduate in may 2010. (thus, my absolute misery in my courses this semester.) such a decision might indicate a lack of astuteness with regards to finances (as well as a delay in starting my career) on my part, but i'm tired of stressing myself out to get into psc 124. i bet the public policy courses at uct are more interesting, anyway! :)

speaking of my classes this past semester, i know i've mentioned in this and previous entries my disappointment in how 2008 transpired. from boy drama to agonizing classes to disappointing friends to a plethora of money woes, 2008 can go down as one of the worst years so far in my life. however, instead of trying to curtail this misery via meaningless new year's resolutions, i'm taking a hint from live journal (i know, shoot me) and am taking this challenge:

this is the 101 things in 1001 days challenge. starting at the stroke of midnight, it is my mission to do 101 things that i wouldn't normally do, that are seemingly extrordinary, and/or that i have never done before. however, rather than compose a list of 101 things and try to accomplish them (which leads to disappointment after not completing them), i'm merely using this challenge as a motivator to seize the day. these things can be geographical (example: travel to london), physical (example: go skiing), academic (example: obtain my bachelor's degree), emotional (example: make a new best friend), intellectual (example: learn french), job-related, family-related, god-related, or anything else of the sort.

however, there are a few restrictions. i can't use repeats to complete my list, i can't use daily activities that i've been doing since 2008 or before, and most importantly, i can't use things that negatively affect my life. other than that, this list is all about carpe diem and come what may.

in order to complete this list on time, on average, i must do one thing every 9.91 days. this project will be complete on september 29, 2011. good grief, i will be 22 by then!

wish me luck! let me know if you have any ideas of things for me to do, or better yet, let me know if you want to join me!

why in the name of the good lord do i go to gwu?

2008-12-26T09:54:00.000+02:00

if i want to graduate when i want to (which is, well, a year early), i need to start taking policy-oriented courses. that's why i wrote this e-mail:

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from: Michael Ross
to: Robert Stoker
subject: PSC 124

Dear Prof. Stoker:

My name is Michael Ross and I am a sophomore Public Policy major in
CCAS. I am interested in enrolling in one of your courses for next
semester — PSC 124.11 Poverty, Welfare, and Work (CRN #43949) — but
have not been able to do so using the normal online registration
process because I haven't taken PSC 002 Introduction to American
Politics (the prerequisite to PSC 124) yet. Nevertheless, I am still
interested in taking your class next semester, and that is why I am
asking you if you would be willing to sign me into your class. Not
only will I be taking PSC 002 next semester (concurrently with PSC
124), but I am already familiar with the structure of American
politics based on my experience interning here in Washington. Please
let me know whether you are willing to let me into your class, and if
so, when I can come by your office with the RTF form so you can sign
off on it. Thank you very much!

Regards,
Michael Ross

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this was followed 7 (!!!) hours later by the following e-mail:

∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙

from: Robert Stoker
to: Michael Ross
subject: RE: PSC 124

Michael:

I regret that the Political Science department requires students to complete PSC 002 in advance of taking any upper division course in American politics. I hope to see you in PSC 124 in some future semester.

Bob Stoker

∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙∙

he really had no good reason to deny my request. only 34/49 seats are taken. also, i'm more than qualified to take that course. honestly, is it really necessary for gwu to perpetuate such bureaucracy?

i think i'm going to go over "bob"'s head and contact the department of political science and the columbian college.

in may 2007, i turned down a substantial scholarship to northeastern university to attend gwu. i was worried that northeastern would try to coddle me, what with my admission into its honors program and all. i'm going to college to learn how to deal with red tape, not have it cut for me... right?

i guess you could say that i'm having one of those "what was i thinking?" moments again.

so apparently i've forgotten how to drive

2008-12-25T09:56:00.000+02:00

the following took place at 3:00 this afternoon as i was going southbound on conejo school road, just past the lakes shopping center and the 101 freeway underpass.

the blue line represents the path along which my car should have traveled. the red line represents the path that it actually traveled.

figure 1 — overhead.

figure 2 — as seen from the 101 freeway.

the yellow line represents the point of "oh, shit" — i knew i was about to crash but was powerless to stop it. and the red × represents to where i moved the car after the crash until my mom and dad came to save me.

granted, it was raining. but, i was also taking that uphill curve too fast. i lost control of the car, and i hit the sidewalk (which acts as a retaining wall for the hill so it's kind of tall). i'm fine, but i can't say that much for poor elphaba. she'll need to go to the mechanic the day after christmas.

first self-induced accident i've been in since i got my license 3 years ago. wow, i've been lucky. i'm also lucky that this one wasn't worse. still, it was kind of scary. especially that second before the crash that i knew it was about to happen...

in other news, joe is no longer coming to stay with me in thousand oaks after christmas. :(

merry christmas everybody!!!

(this entry has been published onto my live journal as well. i think i'm going to give it a chance.)

2008: in review.

2008-12-21T09:55:00.000+02:00

(over instant messenger)
me: "what kind of critters do you have in idaho?"
amanda: "i don't know, buffalo?"

this is the 6th time this calendar year that i have come back to visit california. considering i now live across the continent, i would say that this number is excessive.

nonetheless, i'm glad to be home right now. there's a lot of friend drama going on for me in washington, and i'm glad to be away from that for a while.

i need to be a different person when i go back to washington in january. i'm realizing that, maybe, i don't need to accept the fact that i'm unhappy with my life. i want to get out more. i want to go to clubs and meet new people. i want to rebuild the friendships i've watched deteriorate over the past few months. i want to take the risks that i've feared. i want to refuse to accept a life of humbleness.

by and large, 2008 was an epic failure. i can honestly say that i was happier with my life at the beginning of this year than i am now. sure, i've made some incredible gains in my life, especially academically and professionally. but i have fewer friends and i find that i have less fun in general. aren't i a little too young to be dispirited by life?

i need to set some goals for myself for the new year, goals of how to improve my life. unfortunately, my track record notes my failure to actualize the vast majority of my goals.

taken from my blog entry from august 24th — my goals for fall 2008:
✓ going to a few baseball games ← sadly, this was the most actualized of all my goals, but only in part: i only made it to one game.
✓ taking a class at a dance studio ← did not happen.
✓ finding a shooting gallery ← did not happen.
✓ reading fear and loathing in las vegas ← did not happen, although i did go to a used book store and ask if they had a copy. they did not.
✓ visiting other east coast cities ← did not happen, but in all fairness, i was incredibly sick during the weekend that my friends went to new york. plans are currently underway for a trip of my own to the big apple at the end of january, though.
✓ working out more ← HAH.
✓ registering as a member of apsa ← did not happen (this should have been the easiest of them all to accomplish).

i know i ought to give myself the benefit of the doubt with regards to that list of goals because i was sick for so much of the semester, but in all honesty, i've felt like i've become increasingly miserable as 2008 has progressed. first, there was the roller coaster ride that was phil and i. then, there was the nightmare of trying to make it on my own for a summer. more recently, there was being sick. and all the while, i felt like i was watching my friendships — specifically, my closest ones — slip away from me. sure, i've met some great people throughout 2008, but man, what i wouldn't give to have the closeness to patty and joanna that i had last year, when i lived down the hall from them in thurston.

as it stands, i have 1 ½ years of college left. i want to make the most of them while i still can. as my friend matt told me whenever i complain about wanting to graduate, "you'll be saying the opposite the minute you graduate." i know i'm career-oriented, but maybe he's on to something. i want to hang out with my friends in the dorms. i want to go to clubs and concerts with them. this isn't high school, and i shouldn't feel as unpopular now as i did then. i want to be 19. i want to fit in. i want my friends to call me up and invite me out to have some fun.

i spent my entire life waiting to be college. why shouldn't i enjoy it now that i've achieved it?

or, perhaps, i am incapable of overcoming my dissatisfaction?

with every passing day, a summer in california — or, at least, part of it — sounds increasingly appetizing. perhaps it's just because i am burned out on washington and desire a change. i'm fairly certain that i won't be persuing an internship for over the summer — between weddings, graduations, a bar mitzvah, classes, and seminars, i don't have time to bend my schedule to the will of an intern coordinator. with that, the need to stay within the beltway diminishes. that being said, i'm thinking i might spend the first half of the summer here in california, and the second in dc. i'd miss my gw friends, living on my own, and being in a city. but, in reality, i miss having a best friend who's known me for more than 1 ½ years, living on my own is terribly expensive, and washington in the summer is DISGUSTING (i can't decide what's worse: humidity or tourists!).

like i said, though, i'm afraid that, in the end, no option or path in life will ever truly make me happy. so when amanda told me that she'd consider marrying her ex when she returns from his mission, i told her to never settle for anyone less than the love of her life, because she deserves the utmost in happiness (and besides, eternity is a long time to spend with someone you're lukewarm about). i truly believe that. i might not have found a way to make myself happy, but that doesn't mean that no one else should be. i'm not THAT bitter. ;)

(thanks for letting me rant.)

where does the time go?

2008-12-15T12:19:00.000+02:00

lol at being at starbucks at 5 in the morning. a man just walked in to drop of a stack of copies of the new day's washington post. funny, it's still yesterday for me.

seriously though, i've got 2 finals on tuesday and i was notoriously unproductive throughout this weekend. where does the time go?

to that effect, i can't believe this semester is finally over. i could lie and say this semester went the way i'd have liked it to, but in reality, i didn't enjoy my classes, i became estranged from a lot of my friends, and half of it was spent sick anyway.

i've decided that, next semester, i'll be partaking in more activities that are actually on campus. frat parties, clubs, just hanging out with other students. i need to get back to having friends who are actually MY age. i've recently become aware of the condescending nature of some of my older friends. i don't really need to hear about how something going on in my life right now is similar to what you went through 7 years ago. sages are for eastern religions — i need companions in the here and now!

after these 2 finals, i'm officially halfway done with my undergraduate. where does the time go? i'm starting to realize that i need to take steps (like the ones listed above) to make the most out of my time at gwu. i really don't do that now. next semester is really the last one i'll have with my friends (since they're all studying abroad next year). spring 2009 has got to be all about the hanging out with peeps.

i guess it all comes down to the fact that i feel like i don't appreciate life enough. at this point, everything feels so mechanical and routine. sara (my "cousin" and best friend, who attends cal arts) just booked a flight for herself to visit her boyfriend in chicago over new year's. it's her first time ever on an airplane, and to be honest, i'm more excited for her to go to chicago than for myself to go to europe. why? because travel is an unfamiliar and novel concept for sara. for me, it's routine. i fly several times a year between california and dc. it's like a part of my commute. it's not exciting for me to go between the 2 locations — more than anything else, it's just a drag to have to travel so much.

in many aspects, i am jealous of sara because of her ability to partake in this "new" experience. what i consider routine and agitating, she considers fresh and exciting. with that regard, i am less excited for europe as i once was. i already travel so much — why can't i just stay here? (this is similar to my logic for opting not to study abroad: going to gwu is already like studying abroad for me!) sara is going to have a great time in chicago, which is more than i can say for me when i fly an even greater distance on wednesday to come home for christmas.

i say all this because i miss what my life was like a few years ago. i have great internships now that will significantly bolster my career later on, but i find myself missing macy's. i fly from coast to coast several times a year, but i miss staying in one place and finding it to be novel whenever i flew. i'm making great connections here in washington, with people whose acquaintanceship is of significant value in my professional life, but what happened to just having a few best friends who you could go to the mall with and tell all your secrets to?

i'm leaning more and more to summer '09 in southern california. yeah, i'll miss out on internships and connections in washington. but i can make a lot more money working in retail for a summer (or, even if i got another internship, i'd be saving $$$ by not having to pay rent). and as for connections, i've already made a lot; why not just spend time with sara (and everyone else) for a change?

i miss being a kid. (i can't believe i'm saying that.) and i miss being able to honestly assert that i enjoy life. (because i don't.) i know i said that i have "a life in dc" that i don't know if i'm willing to leave behind for a summer, but at this point, maybe that would be for the best.

i'm about to go explore down by the waterfront/maine avenue (because i've never been before)

2008-12-11T23:16:00.001+02:00

thinking what should i do
now i don't have you
facing my demotion
i'm just a fish in your ocean
has been, that's what i am
with my backstage wristband
freaking seconds of you
that's not what i'm used to

feed, feed 'em all to me
careful with my stuff
what's your policy
first one's free…

i save 'em up, i put 'em in my pocket
i save 'em up, put 'em in a jar
i save 'em up, i'm gonna need 'em for later
i save 'em up, then they'll go real far

hand me downs, the takedowns
i take the leftovers
cold ones and the old ones
better than no ones

feed, feed 'em all to me
careful with my stuff
what's your policy
first one's free…

i save 'em up, i put 'em in my pocket
i save 'em up, put 'em in a jar
i save 'em up, i need 'em for later
i save 'em up, then they'll go real far

i time it out, gotta be real careful
i time it out, get 'em right on time
i time it out, i get 'em when i need 'em
time is up, what's left is over

it's over
i can never have enough
oh, i can never have enough
i sure am greedy
hand 'em over to me
nothing's free…

i save 'em up, i put 'em in my pocket
i save 'em up, put 'em in a jar
i save 'em up, gonna need 'em for later
i save 'em up, then they'll go real far

i time it out, i'll be real careful
i time it out, get 'em right on time
i time it out, i get 'em when i need 'em
time is up, what's left is over

oh, i need 'em,
yeah, i need 'em
because i need 'em
time is up, what's left is over
i time it out, i time it out
because i need 'em, i really need 'em

what should i do, now i don't have you?
i really need 'em, i really need 'em
hand me downs, the takedowns
i take the leftovers.

you change your mind like a girl changes clothes

2008-12-08T08:49:00.001+02:00

it's been so long since i've written in my blog that i feel like i need to reintroduce myself. hello blog, i'm michael. nice to meet you.

as of late i've been extremely busy studying for finals and consequently unable to write. this particular round of finals is kicking my ass. it was the grace of god that allowed me to pass my chemistry final. now i've got 4 left and i'm definitely feeling the pressure.

the rest of thanksgiving was all right. not bad, not great either. i'm still disappointed that so few of my relatives materialized for thanksgiving dinner. i feel kind of silly flying clear across the country for an event which my relatives, who already live in the southland, didn't deem important enough to attend.

getting back to dc was also a drag. my plane was 2 hours late leving burbank, and so by the time i arrived in dallas, i had missed my connection. as a result, i had to wait around in dallas for a couple of hours for the next flight to dc. in the end, it took me the entire day to get back home. i hate that.

anyway, i'm pretty unenthusiastic about going back to california one week from wednesday. i mean, i was just home!! i'm pretty frightful about getting stranded at another airport, and besides, i'm not really looking forward to spending 3 ½ weeks in the golden state. i love living in the city, i don't like living with my parents, and i'll miss all my friends here in dc. plus, today's high was 32º, and I LOVE THE COLD. somehow, barbeques and swimming on christmas day doesn't appeal to me.

you see, i really don't consider going back to thousand oaks a "vacation". a vacation is something you go on to relax, have fun, and try something new. that definitely does not describe thousand oaks for me. (luckily, i found a cheap airfare to europe for joe and myself in march — $600 rountrip on virgin america!! boo yeah!!)

other than dreading going home for yet a 6th time this calendar year (my resolution for 2009 should be to go home less), i've been thinking a lot about my summer plans. logic is seemingly tell me to stay in california for the summer — you know, suck it up and live at home. i can take classes at cal state, intern somewhere in the city, even participate in those summer programs in berkeley (the location of the ihs seminar i want to attend this year) and montana that i've been dreaming out. but then i run into some problems, like: would cal state offer the courses i need? how would i be able to take on the arduous commute into los angeles, without a car of my own in one of the most car-necessary markets in america? and would i even get in to those programs if i applied? (i'm thinking i'm going to have to pass up the one in february because my dad is coming into town during that weekend, so i'd like to at least be able to do those other two.) plus, there's the ultimate question: would i be able to withstand living in thousand oaks — under my parents' roof — for 3 ½ months? moreover, i've got a life here in dc... can i really leave it behind in dc in may and then expect to be able to pick it back up in september?

in the end, it all comes down to the money. i'm starting to lack the funds to travel back and forth as much as i have. if i go to california for the summer, i stay in california for the summer. if i stay in dc for the summer, well, i stay. (except for jeffrey's graduation in june.)

i love the independence which i possess. the fact that i've got money of my own in the bank gives me a sense of security which is, well, fantastic. on the one hand, i understand that i'll forfeit a lot of this independence if i go back to california for the summer. on the other hand, summer '08 in college park might have been a fruitful affair, but it was also an expensive one, thus possibly causing me to forfeit this independence of mine down the road. although lcv paid me pretty well (in fact, i don't think i can find such a well-paying internship again), i still wound up losing more money than i made. unless i could convince dad or student loans to pay for my rent for a (less shitty) apartment this upcoming summer, it'd be economically unwise.

at least i can take solace in the fact that, in 1 ½ years, i will be a college graduate and will be able to financially support myself better... well, hopefully. ;)

in other news, i burnt my tongue on a slice of pizza 3 days ago, and it's still swollen. i'm not sure what to do about this, but it's really becoming bothersome to me.

i realized it's going to be kind of hard to find any friends of mine to live with next year because they're all going abroad. jared (my freshman roommate) and i talked long ago about living together again for our junior year, but as gabbi (his girlfriend) told me over coffee on fri., he'll be studying abroad. i'm considering becoming a house proctor or just moving off campus altogether. my friend steve and i were half-jokingly discussing living together downtown once his lease expires in july, but again, that raises questions about my summer plans.

i've seen "quantum of solace" twice, and i loved it both times. now, i need to go see "the boy in the striped pajamas". i keep noticing the book version of it on pablo's desk. i'm not sure if i should ask him if i can borrow it to read it first, especially because i've already got michael crichton's state of fear and emily brontë's wuthering heights on my queue of books to read.

i bought a new pair of jeans at the aéropostale at tyson's yesterday. i don't know why i keep on buying their shitty jeans. i need to rework my budget so that i can have the money to invest in quality clothing, rather than the rubbish i buy that unravels within months of purchase. that being said, steve wanted to buy a $50 wool cap at ruehl, which i think is ridiculous. i think he's still cross at me for not letting him buy it.

i still have a lot more review to do for my exams, but i'm going to go to bed anyway.

i can't believe it's raining in california

2008-11-26T18:14:00.000+02:00

to the person who called me from an "unknown number" at 1:05 am last night, then hung up immediately after i picked up the phone:

i know who you are. you're not fooling me. don't ever do that again. that was completely unnecessary. i'm not in high school anymore.

this, among other things, is making another summer in dc look quite enticing right now.

i've been in california for only 3 ½ hours

2008-11-23T23:02:00.002+02:00

...and i miss dc already. specifically, i remember why i left california in the first place. it's boring, and i feel disconnected from everything (and everyone) here.

this will make coming home for christmas and summertime all the more difficult. ugh.

still, i've got to make the best of this. at least the weather's nice. melissa suggested in-n-out by the beach for dinner tonight, which i'm fully amenable to. and hey, i haven't even SEEN my parents or brother yet. who knows, maybe this will work out all right...?

edit: i just re-read my last post. "everything in time." okay, got it.

everything in time

2008-11-23T12:17:00.001+02:00

days since getting sick: does it matter anymore?

in the past week or so, i have realized — despite ups and downs, despite failures and travesties, despite feelings of sheer hopelessness — i have realized that, in time, everything will turn out all right.

my thanks as always goes to god. but i can credit a certain lunch buddy of mine from earlier today for the “in time” clause. thanks for that, too.

on to california.

montana?

2008-11-18T10:41:00.001+02:00

days since getting sick: 70.

i have realized how confusing my blog must be to readers because i usually talk about what i "hope" or "wish" for, but then only briefly reference actual events. so let me try to catch you up to speed. my problem with visa got fixed. apparently it took a strongly worded e-mail to convince them to refund my $40. i have my mom to thank for that skill. other than that things are pretty much status quo, except for the recent (and greatly appreciated) drop in our temperatures here. tomorrow is not expected to surpass 40º.

i also found out about this non-profit organization called the property and evironment reserarch center, which combines with the environmental cause with free market values. awesome, that's right up my alley! they have even got a summer seminar for undergraduates (similar to those with the institute of humane studies) where you can go for a week and learn about environmental issues from a free market approach. the only issue is that these seminars take place at perc's headquarters in bozeman, montana — seemingly problematic until i realized that (a) since i've resolved to stay in california over this upcoming summer, montana will be a lot easier to get to than if i were in dc, and (b) this is a fab opportunity for a road trip.

see the route from my hometown to perc headquarters

such a roadtrip would give me the opportunity to visit yellowstone as well as muh muh muh MANDY! who will remain at byu idaho during her summer 2009 semester. awesome.

i know it's only a pipe dream, but like so many that i have, this one seemed to make it onto my blog as well.

it's heinously late so i'll wrap this up before delving into anything else, but before i do, here's a theological question i've been pondering: does god help those who help themselves, or do we help ourselves with god's help?

musings on a rainy thursday afternoon

2008-11-13T20:04:00.001+02:00

days since getting sick: 65.

i've been told that i devote so much of my time and energy trying to fix others' lives because i ultimately feel powerless in fixing my own, and it has not been until now that i realize the veracity of that stipulation. catherine hates her roommate, so i spent some time with her last night trying to find a suitable room to switch in to. joe recently endured a heartbreak, so i have been trying to be there for him. a certain colleague of mine hates her job, so i've been chatting with her a lot about finding a new one.

situations like these come and go out of my life on a constant basis, and yet i am still trapped with my own. like the fact that i hate bank of america, i always have, and yet i have stayed because it (up until very recently) has been the only bank with locations both in dc and in california. now, they have charged me a late fee on my visa, even though i lost my visa and the alleged "due date" took place during the period during which i had no visa card, nor any record of it on their website. once again, i'm out of some money — this time, $40. and despite my calling or e-mailing, i can't get out of this unfair charge.

or the fact that, as of one week from tomorrow, i'll be out of a job, even though i have been lauded for my successes at lcv. i haven't found a new job yet, nor have i even started applying, because i am too busy with my schoolwork and my current job.

or the fact that people keep talking to me about prop 8, even though when people do, they don't realize how much they're upsetting me. speaking of which, since when did i become the spokesperson for the gay liberation movement, anyway? (at least my pro-prop 8 friends don't have the nerve to talk to me about this.) california voted, prop 8 won. there's nothing i can do about it.

but worst of all, there's the fact that i still miss phil — not a little bit, but a whole lot — because he was the only one who could ever help me fix my own problems and convince me that everything would be all right.

let's fold scarves

2008-11-06T06:57:00.003+02:00

days since getting sick: 57.

a few minutes ago, over instant messenger:
joe: blogs are hard to market.
me: haha, i guess… especially ones like mine which have no real universal point of interest.
joe: well, it just needs a mission statement discussion.
me: like...?
joe: oh, i dunno… these things are done on a whiteboard.
me: i mean, what is a mission statement?
joe: to be focused, a program or organization develops a vision statement, mission statement, and goals. the vision statement defines what the ideal would look like. the mission statement defines the organization's role in achieving that vision. the goals are specific measurable steps in performing the mission to gauge effectiveness
me: eh, i think i just prefer ranting to anyone crazy enough to read my blog. oh, and you.
joe: hehe… well that can be a mission statement.
me: my mission statement is let's fold scarves.
joe: yes, let's.
me: my blog takes an adamantly pro-folded scarves platform.
joe: too bad known terrorists have been seen wearing folded scarves. and i hear your folded scarves are muslim.
me: the scarves themselves are muslim? like, the actual cloth?
joe: or maybe muslin.

hahaha. (this is why we're friends.)

in other news, my internship ends in 2 ½ weeks, and i'm actually pretty sad that lcv can't offer me a continuing position as a staff member. i had a pretty good day organizing (not helping organize, but actually organizing) the conference call we're doing with our donors tomorrow, supplemented by going down to the national press club to attend the press conference that lcv's president led. good conversations today with the staff members in my department, too — i think they will miss me.

i was definitely PUMPED by the time i went to meet up with grandma and ivan (her boyfriend) for dinner, which went well although i'm worried the prices at the restaurant i suggested we go to (that place down by the waterfront in georgetown, i forget it's name) might have intimidated them. so i feel bad about that. but now i'm back in my room, having finished my homework for tomorrow and totally avoiding paper writing, résume building, cover letter drafting, even european vacation organizing...

speaking of which, i really need to amp up my search for a new job. fuck, it's already november. i'm going home in 3 weeks and before then i need to not only apply for jobs/internships for the spring semester, but write 2 humongous papers as well. of course, i'd rather do the former — i am beyond ready to graduate! (luckily, my advisor seemed pretty on board with me graduating early.)

i convinced jeffrey to apply to cal state northridge even though he protested it was too close to home. i'm really anxious about him with regards to his college application process, even though he already got into arizona state. i guess this is my way of avoiding thinking about grad school.

oh, and i think something else happened this week... ah, yes, i remember...

YES, WE DID!

i'll be home for christmas

2008-10-28T18:13:00.003+02:00

days since getting sick: 49.

i really need to stop trying to make my flight plans through student travel services. last night, i was on their website trying to book a one-way flight home for christmas for the seemingly fabulous rate of $170 (you will remember from a previous entry that i am having to do this because the student travel agent i worked with a few weeks ago was unwilling to help me rebook my flight to visit the infamous § as my flight home for christmas). anyway, i clicked through all the screens, and it told me that my rate magically rose to $190. so i thought, "okay, $20 isn't so bad." except it wouldn't let me actually BOOK my flight, so i resolved to go to the travel agency in person to buy my ticket.

this morning, i dragged myself to the travel agency, and while my least favorite travel agent ever was working there, there was also a woman on duty, so i just went ahead and talked to her. she took FOREVER to find the flight i found in 5 minutes, except she said it was $220. hmm, that's a little more than i had bargained for, but since it was still cheaper than booking outside of student travel, i said okay.

agent: "you do have our student travel card, right? otherwise, you won't get this special rate."
1. it's not "special" because it's $50 more than it was originally.
2. i shouldn't need a "student" travel card because i already am a student.

but the ticket without this magic card was $400+, which was more than i saw on the cheapest of the non-student travel flights (about $280), so i decided to shell out the $20 for the card. this brought my rate up to $240 — $70 more than i had seen 12 hours before. whatever. i booked my flight, and long story short, i'll be coming home for christmas on december 19. the agent asked me if i wanted to book my return flight home too. all i could do was roll my eyes and say "noooo."

i hate living so far from home that i have to fly every time i go.

joe will be none too happy to hear that i want to book our flight to europe (!!!) through student travel after he reads this story. he hates lousy customer service almost as much as i do.

other than the fiasco that was this morning (which was supplemented by my realization that i have my 2nd midterm in international politics on thurs.), life is okay. i sent in my absentee ballot yesterday. jeffrey got into arizona state, which was great except he still doesn't know if he got into their college of music, so we'll see how that one goes. grandma is coming in 8 days, so it will be nice to have some family in town again. i spent most of this last weekend hanging out with joe, which was fine by me because i was too exhausted from midterms to even think about going to a party, much less a club. yvette keeps on talking about minnesota, and depending on when she goes, i might try to go with. it's getting colder and colder outside. i want to go on a date again. i miss that.

as yvette would say: LIFE.

i didn't always used to be like this...

2008-10-23T06:11:00.003+02:00

days since getting sick: 44.

wow, apparently a lot more people read my blog than i thought, because i had several people get in contact with me regarding my recent entries, and specifically my entry from last night. people are saying i've been acting different lately, and that they're worried about me.

if you're one of those people, i'm sorry for worrying you. i'm just under a lot of stress right now, primarily school-wise (this is the week of midterm hell) but also emotional as well...

but like the title of this entry says, i didn't always used to be like this. and you know what? i won't always be like this either.

i took some advice from my dad today, on friends and friendships. i know i'm not supposed to do this, but i'm already a happier person for having done so.

plus, i still have my faith that everything will turn out all right.

*******************************

when you try your best, but you don't succeed
when you get what you want, but not what you need
when you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
stuck in reverse

and the tears come streaming down your face
when you lose something you can't replace
when you love someone, but it goes to waste
could it be worse?

lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
and i will try to fix you

and high up above or down below
when you're too in love to let it go
but if you never try you'll never know
just what you're worth

lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
and i will try to fix you

tears stream down your face
when you lose something you cannot replace
tears stream down your face
and i...

tears stream down on your face
i promise you i will learn from my mistakes
tears stream down your face
and i...

lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
and i will try to fix you.

six months ago

2008-10-22T09:23:00.003+02:00

in reflection of my blog entry from april 2nd.

WHY DIDN'T I JUST STICK TO THE FUCKING PLAN.

chad and joe are right, i should have done the seminar at ihs. and that apartment in silver spring was fucking amazing, if for no reason* other than the fact that it was a lot closer to the metro. (compare: potential apartment situation in silver spring to actualized apartment situation in college park)

instead, i exhausted myself working 40+ hours a week, didn't see enough of my family, and came home every day to a hovel of an apartment. moorpark's classes would have been a whole lot cheaper than gw's, too, and as general education requirements they would have looked just as nice on my transcript.

now, at what point do i lose the right to attribute all of this to being a "learning experience" and gain the right to attribute this to me being a total freaking dumbass who doesn't think things through and now is just fucking up his life? (let it be known that i didn't used to be like this. i used to be much more rational, reasonable, and emotionally balanced.)

i also fucked up my class schedule for this semester as well, but today's midterm in sociology makes me feel a little less fearful about failing this semester altogether.

days since getting sick: 43.

*also, silver spring, unlike college park, isn't in the middle of the ghetto.

edit, 3:51 a.m.: i can't sleep because i am too fucking upset with myself about this summer.

on friends and friendships

2008-10-21T07:20:00.003+02:00

days since getting sick: 42 (i still have tummyaches and dizzy spells so this count persists. don't worry, i'm going back to the doctor).

just a few quick thoughts on the topic of friendship while i take a well-deserved break from cramming for midterms.

if you don't oppose proposition 8, then you're not a very supportive friend of mine. it's not a religion issue, it's a civil rights issue. and if you are in favor of prop 8, then you are not in favor of me having rights. if you don't think i should have the right to marry, then i don't think you should have the right to have an abortion, or have cookies before bedtime, or whatever.
it's human nature for people to talk about each other. but when it devolves into talking trash about your friends, then it makes me question the nature of the friendship as a whole.
on a related note, if i am acting oddly, don't assume it's solely to garner your attention. and don't tell everyone else that that's why i'm acting as such.
i know that i can be overly emotional, outrageously tactless, and irritatingly stubborn. you don't need to point these things out to me every time we talk.
if you want to have a good political argument with me, bring it on, but remember that my beliefs are highly inconsistent with each other and will therefore most likely not even close to what you believe in. there is no need to try to hit me over the head with your own ideology.
don't try to cheat me out of money.
don't complain to me for not inviting you out to lunch. you could have done the same.
don't get mad at me for not inviting you to crash at my place after you get smashed at apex on a thursday night (which i didn't attend) and then act all nonchalant toward me while complaining about my alleged lack of thoughtlessness to my other friends.
if i tell you that i have a crush on you, don't pretend that you didn't hear me.
there is no need to remind me that you are x years younger than me (in cases where x > 4). hey, you're the one hanging out with the college kid, and in all likelihood, i've had more life experiences than you anyway.
on a related note, if you have y more degrees of higher education (in cases where y is any positive non-zero integer) than i do, you don't have to remind me of that either.
just shut up and help me bury the body. (just kidding... in a literal sense, at least)
i will ask you one more time: are you, or are you not, dating him?
remember: i know your secrets.

i'm going home in 5 weeks. and i can't wait.

how i lost $120

2008-10-09T02:42:00.001+02:00

days since getting sick: 29.

someone once said that bad things always happen in threes, and if nothing else, yesterday was indisputable proof for me of that. not one, not two, but three guys in my life showed their true colors yesterday (read: they demonstrated their genuine douchebaggery) and thus turned me off from interacting with them anymore. one was a former flame who ignored me upon passing him on 22nd street, one was a friend with potential who brought up the "friend from home," and one was a potential date who turned out to be the biggest meathead on the planet.

i guess it's a sign that i'm beginning to accept the fact that i'm single — and, frankly, will probably be for a very long time — because i was more pissed off by what happened at the student travel agency than by any of the aforementioned manboys. you see, last march, i bought airline tickets to visit the infamous § in florida. when it turned out that i couldn't go, i was able to easily get a refund for my ticket on airtran from washington to ft. lauderdale. the return ticket, however, was more complicated. i booked it on delta, through student travel, on a flight from ft. lauderdale to new york (where i was going to see my brother in performance at carnegie hall). i called delta, in march, to try to get it refunded. they wouldn't, but they said that i could use the cost of the flight, minus a penalty fee, as a voucher toward any future flight. okay, fine. so i decided to use this voucher toward my flight home for christmas.

i went to the travel agency yesterday and told this to the agent. he rolled his eyes at me and said that i probably didn't have any voucher. but he called delta anyway and found out that i was right ("oh, really? that's surprises me," he said to the representative on the phone with an arched eyebrow). but then he crunched the numbers with me. you see, i bought the ticket for $120. delta charges a penalty fee of $75, which should leave me with $45. however, since i booked the flight through student travel they charged me their own penalty of $25. so by that time, i was down to $20, but hey it's better than nothing so i was more than willing to use it for a flight. hmm, apparently not. the agent told me that my voucher is only good for flights on the ft. lauderdale --> new york route. what the heck?!!? i have never even heard of an airline of pulling such shit like that.

by this point, i was so pissed off by the agent's negligent and cavalier attitude that i left, without even having bought my ticket to go home in december. and even though i was planning on going ahead and buying my ticket at the agency regardless, i was so ticked by the fact that the agent wasn't willing to help me out that i decided to just take care of it online at home. as someone who used to work in the service sector, i am always very put off by poor customer service, but i digress.

this incident, in conjunction with the heart attack i nearly had after seeing my visa bill for last month, made me realize the necessity of me being a little more conservative with my money. or, maybe, i need to be more reserved in general: i am sick of meeting all these guys and them turning out to be assholes, usually before anything even begins. and the best way to avoid this, of course, is not to even meet them in the first place. perhaps, then, this is the best course of action for me to take for now. for in the end, a new boy is like a roundtrip flight: he seems to be taking you somewhere at first, but in the end, you're right back where you started.

does anyone else wish they were...

2008-10-05T06:51:00.002+02:00

...another person?
...in another place?
...in another time?

(pick and choose from above, or all three together)

days since getting sick: 26.

i'm in my mom's hotel room in northern virginia right now. it's nice having her in town, but i am a little tired from running around with her these past 2 days. i've been pushing myself hard to spend time with her and now i feel yucky.

however, we went to the doctor on friday, who seems to think i'm lactose intolerant. this sucks. no more mac and cheese for me. :(

maybe i'll talk more about that later, right now i'm tired and in a sad mood at that.

my mind is doing somersaults

2008-10-02T22:27:00.006+02:00

the facebook wall-to-wall, brought to my attention by miss patty herself:

and then:

HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

why the hell did i never notice this before??!!?!?!???

if you lived here, you'd be home now

2008-10-02T18:23:00.005+02:00

days since getting sick: 23.

upon running into molly anixt on sunday at potbelly's, i learned that she had spent the summer at home, working for bay area rapid transit. although she commented that a lot of her job entailed bitch work, i still found myself jealous of her having been able to be involved in the applied concepts of city infrastructure and urban design. as many of you know, that field is what i am truly passionate about, but unfortunately, gw offers no related major. i can take relevant classes, but i can't actually get a degree in urban whatever until grad school (university of minnesota!!!!!).

that all being said, i've decided i really like my course of study. classes in the political science department feature a mish-mosh of learnings in history, geography, philosophy, sociology, international relations, even more ornate subjects like community development and organizational science. in fact, i'm even considering changing my major from public policy (a concentration within gw's political science department) to a broader major in general political science. that way, i can choose from a greater variety of courses in the department to take, rather than limit myself to ones geared toward the study of applied law/policy and toward those damn pre-law wannabes.

even so, i nonetheless find myself jealous of molly's job. while i do love working for league of conservation voters and think the things i've learned there have been invaluable - from the structure of the u.s. government to lessons in professionalism - i would really enjoy if my next internship were based more on urban development. however, i want to go home for next summer. truth be told, although i did have fun this summer (and, like i said, i learned a lot), i nevertheless wish i had gone back to california. i miss my friends and family, and i don't think i enjoy gw as much as i would have if i had gone home. of course, the question behind all this is: if i go home next summer, where would i work?? ventura county isn't exactly a bastion of transportation organizations and development-related non-profit organizations, you know (the latter being especially true, seeing as the area has adopted "slow growth" policies). i could apply to intern for los angeles metro, but their office is an hour and a half's commute away (think manassas to washington!), and my mom apparently had a lead at the city hall of thousand oaks, but i don't know too much beyond that. (i guess we can't all be lucky enough to be from the bay area!)

oh, well. i guess i've got some time to figure that all out, considering this is only the 5th week of the school year. nevertheless, i still think i want to come home to ventura county, at least for most of next summer. i've missed too much being away and i don't want to miss more... however, gw has some 6-week summer abroad programs that look pretty enticing. maybe i'll pursue one of those to complement my summer plans.

in the meantime, mom's coming into town TODAY and i can't wait to see her!!! she can't find this out because she's already in the air, but i'm going to surprise her at the airport terminal!!! :)
(this means missing sociology but i don't care, ha ha)

p.s. romeo and juliet was wicked AMAZING. the same theatre company is doing twelfth night in december and i am definitely going to that... if you wanna go with. :)

another post from my blackberry

2008-09-27T19:30:00.001+02:00

days since getting sick: 18.

well, i didn't go to nyc this weekend with the joe/andy/william/etc. coalition as planned. i'm still not feeling great. as for now it's more important that i get better as much as possible before the agony that is midterms, which are just around the corner, prevails. i really don't regret my decision: it's quite nice staying on campus, chilling with my gdub amigos, etc. i so do not have a penchant for travel. plus, now, i get to go see romeo & juliet downtown tomorrow night for only $10. that's a hell of a lot cheaper than the $139/seat tickets blaine found for us at avenue q!

other than being sick, gdubbs is all right. i'm a lot better off right now than i was one year ago at this time. i'm having a lot of fun right now because i am reconnecting with the people i haven't hung out with since the 1st weekend of school, the last time i actually felt well. still, this year is a wholly different dynamic from the last. some friendships are stronger and others, i hate to say, have diminished. but it's all for the best. i have great friends right now.

i miss college park. pablo is cool and all, but i definitely miss my girls (and kieran too). i've been homesick a lot lately, too. yes, for thousand oaks. i've never been like this before. luckily, mama ross is coming to visit next week. it will be good to see her.

finally, work is going great. i feel more capable than ever before. that plus my political science classes this semester make me feel really confident about being a public policy major.

ok, i'm at farragut west right now, so that means i'm the next stop. i'll try to write more often from now on.

i'll be frank...

2008-09-22T03:05:00.000+02:00

days since getting sick: 12.

mom's coming to visit the weekend after next, and if i'm not better by then, i'm going back to california with her.

no questions, please.

third week slump

2008-09-16T01:20:00.001+02:00

days since getting sick: 6.

i am writing this post from my blackberry, not my laptop, because my laptop has once again decided to totally crash. fortunately, this time around, all of my files are backed up as of last night. still, i hate having to contend with these issues, especially with chemistry class being in 20 minutes.

i am already completely fed up with this year. i have been sick basically the entire time, the most recent nuisance being a stomach virus that started on wednesday. i can't eat because i'll throw it all up. i can't sleep because my stomach is in constant turmoil. i can't walk because i am too weak from living off this brat diet. i can't concentrate because all i can think about is how terrible i feel.

i hate this. i'm hungry and in pain. i'm sleep-exhausted because after work and class i still have to do homework, but then i get too tired and fall asleep, so i'm behind in all my classes. i'm grumpy and in pain and frustrated over my fucking computer and the fact that i'm still not better and that every guy i meet is a self-serving egotist. i hate how i look and i feel. i hate my classes. i am overworked and underpaid. i never see my friends and i feel so alone. i can't afford to take a day off. i'm wondering when i'll get "used to" things and not mind these constant nuisances in my life. all i want to do is cry.

i can't believe i am forcing myself to go to my goddamn chemistry class now.

live from funger hall!

2008-09-09T15:43:00.003+02:00

i'm sitting in my u.s. political participation class right now listening to a debate on whether presidential campaigns matter with regards to the outcome of the election. the student at the podium right now is talking waaaay too fast. i wish someone ― namely the professor, but it could be someone else as well ― would tell him to slow down. i cannot fucking understand one word he is saying. won't his tongue fall off? he goes to the same church as me as well, and he did the same thing last sunday when advertising getting involved at the newman center. anyway, i wonder what he said. it was probably very intelligent. i guess that now, the world will never know.

other classes i am taking this semester:
✓ introduction to international politics
✓ advanced spanish grammar
✓ sociology of law
✓ contemporary science for non-science majors

i like them all, with the exception of the sociology class. i don't think the professor knows what he's doing, but that's the trade-off when you've got an adjunct.

work is good. lcv keeps me busy. i am getting excited for this election.

pablo and i still aren't friends yet. i don't think he likes me very much. at least our room is quite large. even though he has seemingly taken over the coffeetable, that's okay because i got the coat closet... and the kitchen (since pablo doesn't cook).

oh yeah, and i got hit my a car today. actually, it was more like he was "stopped" in the crosswalk while i was trying to cross h street, except he was inching forward, and then he tapped my leg. i'm not hurt or anything, but it just shows how stupid some people are. ugh.

back to the debate, i think i am siding with the team supposing that presidential campaigns don't matter. or maybe it's because they are more eloquent. :)

so begins another year of late nights in gelman

2008-09-09T08:22:00.000+02:00

the glove compartment is inaccurately named
and everybody knows it.
so i'm proposing a swift orderly change.

cause behind its door there's nothing to keep my fingers warm
and all i find are souvenirs from better times
before the gleam of your taillights fading east
to find yourself a better life.

i was searching for some legal document
as the rain beat down on the hood
when i stumbled upon pictures i tried to forget
and that's how this idea was drilled into my head

cause it's too important
to stay the way it's been

there's no blame for how our love did slowly fade
and now that it's gone it's like it wasn't there at all
and here i rest where disappointment and regret collide
lying awake at night

there's no blame for how our love did slowly fade
and now that it's gone it's like it wasn't there at all
and here i rest where disappointment and regret collide
lying awake at night (up all night)
when i'm lying awake at night.

back in the district

2008-08-31T08:39:00.003+02:00

i'm back from california and have moved into my dorm at gwu. it's really nice. there is plenty of space for both pablo and myself. he's a bit on the quiet side, though. i am hoping that will change.

i can see the washington monument out of my east-facing windows, though. :)

it's great to be living back at gwu again. even though i lived in college park this summer and even worked in farragut square, everything still feels fresh and exciting here in foggy bottom. it makes me think more and more about doing the "four years in college" thing and taking a lot of electives. (otherwise, i'd graduate in 3 thanks to advanced placement and community college.)

that's it for now.

back in california for a bit

2008-08-25T04:58:00.004+02:00

peeps i have hung out with since getting back to california:

✓ irina li
✓ amanda packard
✓ adam potischman
✓ allan steiner
✓ melissa steiner
✓ linda langlois

definitely the most random group of people but apparently these are the people i still keep in contact with. it's funny how these things turn out. i'm also meeting lily ~~rybak~~ sherman and marissa podell for coffee tomorrow. sadly, i won't be able to make it to bryan aka lord byron aka washington irving aka michael ross aka broth's 20th (!!!) birthday thing on wednesday. there's never enough time in california.

that being said, i'm actually having a better time here than i usually do. it's given me a lot of time to decompress and not think about you know who. i still miss him, but it's great being around my family. and i had some great talks with my friends about my situation ― they've helped me realize that this summer, in its entirety, has been a learning experience for me, from learning about the political scene and how to act professional to living on my own and the subject of romance. so i guess it's nice that this week has been able to give me some perspective on the rest of my summer/life.

however, i've realized that there are some things i want to do when i get back to washington. these include: (and you are more than welcome to join me, in fact i'd love it)

going to a few baseball games
taking a class at a dance studio
finding a shooting gallery
reading fear and loathing in las vegas
visiting other east coast cities
working out more
registering as a member of apsa (has anyone else done this?

indeed... it is time for something new.

it's not even 11 yet, but i'm still on east coast time, so i need to go to bed.

the sun is up, it shines on you, it's beautiful and so are you

2008-08-21T11:46:00.002+02:00

i'm looking out the window noticing the first iota of daylight breaking through the blackness. and yet i am still not asleep. i really did mean to ― after all, i'm flying to california in a couple of hours ― but life happened instead.

first i went out to dinner with joe after work, which was okay except he made a few comments about me which hurt my feelings but i didn't vocalize that, then i turned around and made a similar comment which he flipped out about. i was half-temped to walk out of the restaurant right then and there but instead i just apologized and then we moved on. whatever. then i get home and omg, somebody should have told me that there was a party going on in apartment 410 tonight because it was HOPPIN'!!! drea was there along with josh dunietz as well as josh dunietz's new girlfriend, who is fabulous and i totally approve of, and we definitely had a bangin' time, supplemented by a trip to d.p. dough's. the old-enoughs never quite made it to the bar, because before we knew it, it was 2 am and everyone was exhausted. so josh dunietz and the g/f went home, then drea and i had an espn-esque post-hangout discussion which quickly turned into me recounting my entire love life from 2004 to the present. life. so then drea left, and of course i still hadn't packed, so i just decided to stay up all night instead. got sucked into a few aim conversations with some california friends i'm dying to see, blah blah blah, so here we are now, i'm about to catch the metro to greenbelt and take the b30 bus from there to bwi (a.k.a. bothersome while inexpensive). going to arrive at lax at 11:45 their time. good stuff.

moral of the story: if you're around, i'm around, so let's be around... each other! :)

hey there delilah, what's it like in new york city?

2008-08-18T05:54:00.003+02:00

most of you who regularly read this blog have played the unfortunate witness to the ongoing drama that is phil's and my relationship, and re-reading the last several entries of this blog i have realized that a central part that he (along with the emotions of mine that his actions seem to spur) is in my life. for those of you who don't know, phil is a great (and i do say great) guy who i have been friends with, dated, hooked up, combinations of those, all three at once, and none of those at various points within the last 9 months. to that end, i am vowing to make this the last entry in which i talk about phil.

it all comes back to new york. joe and i took a spontaneous day trip there yesterday, and, while it was loads of fun (we shopped, walked around, and had dinner at a nice restaurant), i still found myself dwelling on phil (who went to high school in nyc). i think i still like him, and i do find myself wishing that he were mine. it's like that beatles lyric, "well i'd rather see you dead, little girl, than to be with another man." that song always makes me think of him (though phil is far from a "little girl," lol).

so i had a looong talk with him today, and i'll spare you the details, but in the end, i told him that while he's a catch and i really do want to be friends with him... until i can find a way to leave my emotions behind me, i can't. and since one of my biggest character flaws is my tendency to dwell on the past, i don't think this is going to be for a while. so, i told him not to contact me until i contact him. he was incredibly understanding, he wished me well, and he said he looked forward to talking to me again in the future.

and that's that.

there is a prayer, called the serenity prayer, that goes like this: "god, grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, courage to change the things i can, and the wisdom to know the difference. " the fact that he and i will never be together is something that i cannot change, but i can change how i deal with that. only now, though, do i truly have the wisdom to recognize both of those things. honestly, this is one of the hardest things i have had to do. i have cried a lot this week because i knew this was coming, and today, of course, did not permit the tears to relent.

but in the end, it is the mature thing to do. i am investing in my future. maybe now, i can move on. you may say that it will happen, but honestly i don't know if it's possible. i'm willing to try, though. if tila tequila can take a shot at love, so can i.

by and large, this summer was not the best. my apartment sucks, i never quite made it to philly or boston, and i didn't get to see my friends nearly as much as i'd hoped. but it was an investment in my future. my internship will help me get a better job later on, my class will allow me to graduate in may 2010, and i have the experience on living on my own for future knowledge. i write this knowing what a strech it is for me to have to justify all this as such. but it's true. this will all help me one day. this is the path i've chosen, and it will take me to where the lord has determined that i need to be later in life. until i get there, however, i will be morose. and that's how i feel about this whole phil situation. morose. but, it will provide me with what i will need down the road in my (love) life.

and, with that, i lay the demons of my past to rest, as i anticipate the future. who knows, maybe phil and i will one day find a way to be friends. this is very similar to what happened between adam and i in high school, and it is now just as it is then: what i need is time.

(i apologize for the overly emotional nature of this entry, by the way. it just needed to be said.)

the facebook stalkerfeed gave me quite a shock today...

2008-08-12T07:11:00.001+02:00

bryan transferred out of gwu. i'm sure most of you know by now, but it's true. the long story short is that his coach (varsity tennis) was being a total dick, as always, even though it was his fault in the first place that bryan is injured and unable to play. not only that, but needing surgery. so as a last-minute deal, bryan transferred to saint louis university. at least he is now at a school that appreciates his abilities, and he is closer to the bulk of his family.

of course, that leaves me without a roommate... er, not really. gw took the liberty of plopping some kid named pablo -- a transfer student, i reckon -- in with me in my penthouse suite. i have a bad feeling about all this. i don't know anything about this guy. he could be a total dick for all i know. a crack addict, a homophobe. i haven't even talked to him, even on facebook, but my stomach is giving me an unsettling feeling about this entire situation.

oh, don't sell me short quite yet. i sent him an e-mail a couple hours ago extending the olive branch. of course, if he's anything like trevor (or any new student at gw, for that matter), he won't know how to use his gw mail until after he gets to school. kieran tried showing me how to use our new e-mail system. i gave up after about 2 minutes and decided to continue letting everything automatically be forwarded to my gmail.

back in the affairs of the apartment du jour, maintenance still hasn't come to resolve toilet fiasco 2008. kieran and i must have drawn the short stick in terms of choosing bathrooms. i can't wait until next week when our sink will overflow or my medicine cabinet will fall on my head and crack open my skull.

oh, and we apparently have a mouse (multiple mice?) living in our apartment. good god, which circle of hell have i signed a lease for?

just a few weeks left of summer. the final for my summer school class is on thursday, then one week from then i'm going to southern california. i've decided i'm looking forward more to that than to school starting. especially now that bryan's left. the funny thing is that last time i was in california, i told my closest friends about phil and asked them if i should pursue a romantic relationship with him. now, an entire summer has past, he and i have fought, semi-made up, i've realized that i still have feelings for him and now i am trying to put him in my past again. i wonder how i will explain this all to my friends. (i guess in the same way i did just now.)

but i digress. i've been on a few dates lately. nothing to speak of. meh, it's just as well. i have work in the morning.

musings on a lonely sunday morning

2008-08-10T21:15:00.003+02:00

is it all the men i meet who are assholes? or is it just me?

god bless blaine butler for driving joe and i to olive garden later today.

you know you live in prince george's county when you're willing to do this

2008-08-09T23:58:00.000+02:00

in the pinnacle of ghettoness in terms of my apartment, the chain in my toilet which provides the flushing mechanism broke off. in other words, we can't flush. and it doesn't help that kieran and i BOTH forgot about this so our bathroom started to smell like... well, you know what. so at the apex of my desperation, i wrapped my bony arm in plastic bags, reached into my toilet, and manually flushed it.

UGHHHHH.

yes, maintenence is coming tomorrow to fix my toilet. but i was getting desperate. our bathroom was starting to smell terrible, and besides, i'm a go-getter. anyway, i think this is enough of a favor to make kieran my personal bitch for the next month or so.

in other, less disgusting news, it has been a week since the other development intern has left lcv to go study abroad in españa, and i think i'm doing well without her. it's a lot of work, trying to do 2 people's jobs at once, but my renewed faith in myself and my job ― supplemented by elizabeth (the head of the dept.)'s renewing my internship through the election ― has provided me with the strength and the determination to do an even better job at work than i did before. i am actually quite thankful to be at lcv through november 27 ― it will be exciting to be a member of lcv WHEN (not if) obama gets elected. :)

another benefit about continuing to work at lcv: our departmental retreat!!! those whack-jobs in communications went kayaking down the potomac. luckily, we don't have to do that.

elizabeth: "our department consists of women and michael. we're going to get our nails done." :)

so, does anyone know any quality but mid-priced nail salons in washington???

oh, and i realized i'm going to california in a week and a half. yay...i think? traveling is such a pain, but truth be told i'm looking forward to seeing the rents and el jefe, even though it's only for a little bit (which might actually be more virtuous, ha ha).

my final exam for biological anthropology is on thursday... good lord. i should probably study but i'm on blogger instead.

also, i continue to impress myself with my not ever going out of town. woo.

pics from the summer, especially fredericksburg, to be posted EVENTUALLY... heh.

that's it for now.

ojalá...

2008-08-05T14:18:00.001+02:00

i just want you close
where you can stay forever
you can be sure
that it will only get better

you and me together
through the days and nights
i don't worry 'cause
everything's going to be alright
people keep talking they can say what they like
but all i know is everything's going to be alright

no one, no one, no one
can get in the way of what i'm feeling
no one, no one, no one
can get in the way of what i feel for you, you, you
can get in the way of what i feel for you

when the rain is pouring down
and my heart is hurting
you will always be around
this i know for certain

you and me together
through the days and nights
i don't worry 'cause
everything's going to be alright
people keep talking they can say what they like
but all i know is everything's going to be alright

no one, no one, no one
can get in the way of what i'm feeling
no one, no one, no one
can get in the way of what i feel for you, you, you
can get in the way of what i feel

i know some people search the world
to find something like what we have
i know people will try try to divide something so real
so till the end of time i'm telling you there ain't no one

no one, no one, no one
can get in the way of what i'm feeling
no one, no one, no one
can get in the way of what i feel for you, you, you
can get in the way of what i feel for you

second to worst blog ever

2008-08-01T04:44:00.000+02:00

somehow, rosie o'donnell slipped my mind when i was writing my july 28 post.

also: STAPES!!! stop BUYING things for alvin!!!

coffee talk (that's for you, yvette!)

2008-07-30T16:25:00.003+02:00

this morning, i spent ⅓ of 1% of my entire month's paycheck on an iced mocha at starbucks that really wasn't that good anyway. if i did this every day, that would mean that i would be spending 10% of my salary on coffee.

the moral of this story: if i am already thinking about things like this, then i can tell that it's not going to be a very good day.

cnn? i get all my news from facebook status updates!

2008-07-29T21:35:00.002+02:00

Ashley Lai now why can my phone go on the internet but still not text? oh well...yay earthquakes!

4 minutes ago

Jennifer Danielle Allen Earthquake!

8 minutes ago

Ashley Burton is still freaken out from the earthquake....

17 minutes ago

David Bell thought the earthquake was laaaaaaaaaaaaaame.

19 minutes ago

Sarah Warburg just felt an earthquake for the first time! But is kinda butt hurt that her cell phone doesn't work.

29 minutes ago

Sara Ann Schilling is loving how everyone from cali is commenting earthquake.

30 minutes ago

Vlad Serbulea rocked out to the earthquake with IRON MAIDEN!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

30 minutes ago

Shayna Marks reports the 5.8 earthquake.

32 minutes ago

Lauren Glicksteen didn't feel the earthquake.

33 minutes ago

Amanda Packard HATES earthquakes. no matter how small.

45 minutes ago

Melinda Charnas : holy CRAP that was a big earthquake!!!

49 minutes ago

Cory Primm WOA EARTHQUAKE!!

51 minutes ago

thanks guys.

worst blog ever

2008-07-29T05:03:00.001+02:00

joe is mad at me for not posting enough on here. but it's not my fault! i'm busy! and besides, i'm not very good at blogging. i feel like a sap when i talk too much about my feelings and i feel shallow when i solely recount my life's events. oh, and then there's blogging about events in the news. did you know lindsay lohan is now dating a FEMALE?!!?? i liked her more in parent trap.

a'ight, a quick run down of my life:

1. i went to fredericksburg this weekend to visit my relatives. not as terrible as richmond, but much more rural. i'm glad i live in a city. at any rate, i'm glad i went. it was nice to see the fam again. i miss seeing people who have known me for over a year. pics on facebook to come.

2. joe (who apparently rules my internet life) made me get a live journal account. i don't plan on blogging on it, but if you wanna be my friend my user name is seeyouinbiology.

3. so you know how my bathtub's been clogged for like forever and a day? well on thurs. i left my landlord a voice mail about it, never heard back then i come back from fredericksburg and VOILÀ!!! it's fixed. kieran said they randomly sauntered in and snaked it. good grief, what a miracle.

4. i wanted to go visit joanna in new jersey in august but sadly she is busy so that will not happen. :( philadelphia was supposed to happen this upcoming weekend too but that's not going to happen either. ugh.

5. i still need another class for the fall semester. unfortunately, freshmen registration has already taken place, so there's basically no classes that still have open seats left in them. i'm pissed. freshmen registration shouldn't happen until the end of the summer. what the heck do they know about picking classes? lord knows my first semester at gwu was a wash because i had no idea what the hell i was doing.

i think that's a fairly decent list for now.

in regards to the guy in my life

2008-07-23T02:57:00.003+02:00

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

i guess you don't really like me back after all.

my eyes can't believe what they have seen.

2008-07-20T23:13:00.004+02:00

what is the proper protocol for when you see the ex-boyfriend of the boy you've been seeing on and off since december passing by you on the sidewalk of r street nw?

(melissa steiner's answer: "glare.")
(patricia chaupis's answer: "stare.")
(david bell's answer: "...absolutely nothing?")

all i wanted to do was to go out to black cat and forget about the boy and just have some fun dancing with christina, joe, william, and the inexplicably gay-friendly kieran wilde. apparently, fate had other plans for me this past friday night. i guess that in the gay community, it really is a small world after all.

not that i didn't have fun at black cat anyway. it was queer night, and even though i don't usually like gay clubs/bars/dance parties, i nevertheless enjoyed myself immensely. even though kieran got hit on and i didn't. he even danced with a really hot boy!! ugh.

at least christina had a good beginning to her birthday. happy birthday, honey!!

last night wasn't much better. i went to a party in crystal city, hung out with a really hot guy, and yet my mind is still preoccupied with the boy. i just don't know what to do. maybe i should just hide under my bedsheets until i forget about him. this weekend may still have been fun, but until i can do something about this crush, i will continue feeling miserable. hopefully, visiting my relatives in fredericksburg next weekend will alleviate some of my emotions.

i am such a mess. :( and i need to study for this bio. anthro. test which is tomorrow night. damn.

just got in from richmond

2008-07-13T08:32:00.000+02:00

why do my posts keep on disappearing and then reappearing? ugh.

anyway, my life is crazy. andy and i took a spontaneous road trip today to richmond to visit his adorable friend juancito. it was good to get out of the city and clear my mind, even though richmond may just well be the shittiest town in america. no, i take that back: petersburg (southside suburb of richmond) is, by far, the shittiest town in america. case in point: we went to a chicken joint and some white lady asked the cashier "is this a safe area?" that elicited smirks from all the employees. seriously... boarded up buildings up and down the streets? random people asking us for money then not leaving us alone? it made me long for prince george's county.

but we made do. we hung out at a mall and then caught a movie. like i said, it was nice to be away, even if it was just for one day.

i forgot to mention my heinous last weekend of being hospitalized. basically for a couple of days leading up to it all, my throat had been closing up. i could hardly breathe, let alone swallow. all i could consume was green tea and soup and for a skinny ass white kid like me that's bad news bears. so i was already feeling weak and feverish and while i was at target on the 5th i basically almost fainted... and that's when i decided to go to gwu medical center. they found an absest on my tonsil and decided instead of removing it (which apparently isn't commonplace anymore) they DRAINED it instead. that's right folks. they numbed my tonsil, then cut a hole in it and let my bodily fluids flow out from my mouth. pretty much the most disgusting thing in my life. and it didn't help that my surgeon was cute.

i wound up spending that night in the hospital hooked up to an iv, but i left the next day and took that monday off from work. i'm feeling fine now, but there's still a hole in my tonsil. it's supposed to close up on its own, but it hasn't yet. it feels weird. i have a follow-up appointment for all of this on wednesday, which involves me not being at work for even MORE time. ugh. i feel so guilty, even though my internship can frustrate the hell out of me. whatever. i'm getting the feeling they're gonna reneg on their offer to keep me through the fall semester so i'm not emotionally investing myself into lcv.

other than that... my class started this past week. it's okay, i guess. easy a (i hope). i need to spend tomorrow studying... ugh.

i think i'm going to go to bed now. being in the confederacy all day is exhausting!