third week slump

days since getting sick: 6.

i am writing this post from my blackberry, not my laptop, because my laptop has once again decided to totally crash. fortunately, this time around, all of my files are backed up as of last night. still, i hate having to contend with these issues, especially with chemistry class being in 20 minutes.

i am already completely fed up with this year. i have been sick basically the entire time, the most recent nuisance being a stomach virus that started on wednesday. i can't eat because i'll throw it all up. i can't sleep because my stomach is in constant turmoil. i can't walk because i am too weak from living off this brat diet. i can't concentrate because all i can think about is how terrible i feel.

i hate this. i'm hungry and in pain. i'm sleep-exhausted because after work and class i still have to do homework, but then i get too tired and fall asleep, so i'm behind in all my classes. i'm grumpy and in pain and frustrated over my fucking computer and the fact that i'm still not better and that every guy i meet is a self-serving egotist. i hate how i look and i feel. i hate my classes. i am overworked and underpaid. i never see my friends and i feel so alone. i can't afford to take a day off. i'm wondering when i'll get "used to" things and not mind these constant nuisances in my life. all i want to do is cry.

i can't believe i am forcing myself to go to my goddamn chemistry class now.