maybe the glass slipper doesn't always fit

so i feel like it's almost midnight and my carriage is about to turn back into a pumpkin. that's the only way to describe how i feel. maybe it's just because the school year is about to end, and maybe i just have a lot of anxieties, but i feel like something in my life is about to bring me down hardcore.

i wish i had the humility that i had in high school. linda always told me that i need to stop being so overly rational and to let myself enjoy life. i've tried to do that this year, but right now i'm just feeling like my old, excessively calculative self.

i'm really jealous of the kids here at gw whose hometowns are close enough to here that they can drive home, at least on long weekends. this summer's going to be hard: truly i am going to be "on my own", since i won't have gw's red tape to create my world for me. i'm trying to whether if i really hated thousand oaks as much as i remember hating it, because right now, it looks like i won't be there from may 26 until thanksgiving.

so i guess what i'm trying to say is that, as always, i don't know what i want. even when i have it, i wonder if i had actually wanted something else all along. i could really use a hug right now.